|Reviews for Keep Your Enemies Closer|
| Frost chapter 13 . 5/3
So, I know there are many chapters to go but I thought I'd drop a review in right here. This is a re-read for me since I saw you updated recently and I needed a plot refresher. There are many aspects of this story that I like and there are also some things that I think you maybe didn't quite nail.
One of the biggest ones for me is Harry's relationships, most specifically his relationship with Watanabe. Harry is introduced to him by Voldemort who called him his right hand man or second in command, I can't remember the exact phrasing. This automatically should have Harry placing this complete stranger in the category of ENEMY. He is behind enemy lines right now as a prisoner of war. I would think his interactions with Voldemort's trusted follower would naturally skew more towards hostile than comfortable. Yet for some reason you have written Harry as clearly respecting him, seeming to like him almost instantly, and never once resenting him. Harry likes him just because he hasn't personally been tortured by him and he bowed to him a couple times? Harry makes it clear that he knows Watanabe is party to the torture and murder but for some reason he doesn't care?
I think Watanabe is a cool character and that Harry definitely could have formed respect for him through further exposure and getting to know him through interactions over time. His instant respect and acceptance is weird. That he would feel bad about betraying/disappointing Watanabe is weird.
For example, the scene after Malfoy whips Harry and he is crying and bleeding on the floor. Watanabe heals him and makes a joke about Harry wanting to keep the scars to impress girls. Harry's reaction there really threw me. To me his response to being playfully teased about girls and his physical torture directly after it happened would be fury, even if it was just internal. Harry might be frustrated and angry that he just had to endure this humiliating pain and now this guy comes in and makes a comment about Harry's future love life? When I read that I heard Watanabe essentially mocking Harry about something that that had been stolen from him. He has no chance in the realistic future of having a person to love and be with. He is a prisoner of the Dark Lord. The one prisoner who would never be set free. Who is he possibly going to be getting involved with? Now I don't think you wrote it with that intention but it really feels like this would not be a time or a topic that Harry could take as joke. Things would be feeling pretty bleak for Harry throughout this story and it doesn't really come through all the time.
I guess overall I think that maybe Harry is far too nonchalant about his whole situation. Yes he did try to harm Nagini and then to escape with Narda but before that he was just going about his captivity with ease. I didn't get the sense that he was overly troubled by the situation. There were flashes of it but his conviction to fight back seems pretty flimsy. I'm not saying he should be like biting people or trying to claw their eyes out but there are more small passive aggressive actions that I would expect. It just feels like he seesaws between being a good little boy reading his dark arts books in Voldemort's library to trying to choke the life out of Lucius Malfoy (that part was awesome by the way). Harry's state of mind is very inconsistent but it doesn't seem to me like you wrote it like that as a coping thing. It just feels a bit like an oversight?
Maybe I'm being too nit-picky? I think I am feeling more critical because I actually think you are a talented writer and I like your ideas and how you express them. Sorry this review is long and critical but I want to discuss it because you made me interested in it ya know? Also I apologize that I don't have an account so you can't directly respond. I just don't have one since I have never posted a story so I never felt the need and I can keep the stories I follow much more organized in my bookmarks. So yeah, I promise I'm not reviewing anonymously just so I can criticize without you knowing who I am. I just don't have an account.
Wow. This was the longest review I written in ages. I hope it was not poorly received!
| Meowmeep499 chapter 26 . 4/12
Just binge read this whole story! Love it sooo much and can not wait for the next chapter! You’re doing an amazing job with writing it! Please keep up the good work!
| cairovault7 chapter 26 . 4/6
This chapter was great fun, extra lengthy too, those are my favourite! Generally speaking, this story makes me feel the real stakes involved. And having the central character tip -toe around the side characters gives it a whole lot of depth. Harry isn't a weakling, but not out of character either, he isn't powerful but a good fighter, nowhere near the level of the biggies...sorry but I tend to read more than the updated chapter to get the feel of the story back and I began to appreciate the expansion you have provided in the story on Death eaters, introducing more of them, they are not just a bunch of evil gits, they are cruel, but there are nuances that differentiate them. And their hierarchy is a fun read too.
Things are developing around Harry but he isn't a part of it, being cocooned away from the Order, so unlike canon, he isn't spearheading any of the action, but his position obviously prevents him from getting involved. Personally his position allows us to read a different side of the story so how can I complain?
Right, back to this chapter, Dumbledore inside the Malfoys' Dungeons just to have tete-a-tete with Snape? Is this how they now communicate, creative desperation that...Snape's brilliant, coping with the stress and being his vitriolic self...no can't forget that side of him. Lucius is worried eh, but he came off as impotent in that scene with Snape, he's in a fix but there's no chance of Snape helping him out of it. Honestly, I took him seriously because of the way Harry reacted to him, he came off as a dangerous man. Just like Snape's own power is established when Harry first experiences his Dark mark...comparisons, comparisons
And to the school children, playing their mini games. Zabini's joined the tag team, Nott feels like he might add some more intrigue into the mix, as for Daphne...it read right, he isn't falling for her, her ploy is quite obvious, her looks are doll-like and she is using it to great advantage, but why refuse, a bit of shagging on Harry's part, as for Daphne, what does she gain out of it? Does her status increase or something, or to fulfil her curiosity, parseltongue turns her on? The slytherin dynamics of the Youn Bloods...looking forward to the next treat!
Thank you for the update!
| CharmerDark chapter 2 . 4/6
Good one..well written
| Cefricus chapter 26 . 4/5
I'm in favour of a harryxdaphne pairing.
| DejaVuDejaVu chapter 26 . 4/4
Thank you for the update! I like your story, especially your Voldemort. I think it is a very realistic take on that character. However, I dislike your Harry for the most part. He is entitled and weak with no desire to get stronger. I wish he had more of a drive and more common sense.
Your plot is great tho! I love all the background pieces!
| Guest chapter 26 . 4/2
Yay, an update! That was a really good chapter - no need to apologise for how long it is! Can't wait to read more :) Love to see Harry 'playing along' with Voldemorts plans
| cairovault7 chapter 25 . 2/1
Hmm, I am eagerly waiting for another dose of perfectly intriguing interactions from your story, I decided to reread all the chapters, and fell in love with the characterisations and writing all over again! I was first fascinated by the depth you gave each character and hey, all the innuendoes, I greatly enjoyed, so I'll wait for as long as you're willing to write!
From what we get, the impression formed is that things could go rather well if our two main characters work together, but I couldn't help but notice, having read countless, far too many stories, that this is the general route that takes place where arch nemesis work together to bring out a greater vision while the hard edge truth is glossed over. But in this chapter, while they discuss about 'The Magical Rights Foundation', Watanabe gives a delicious (in my opinion) clue of murky things that will inevitable have to occur, when he speaks about muggles serving as fodder for the vampires. I feel the negative aspects make you enjoy the relative safety and comfort that Harry finds himself in. His position of balancing between two ideologies is one of the gripping features of this story. I love his stubbornness and frustration and impracticality. Honestly, I enjoy his characterisation because he is in this unique position of being at the centre of all this fascinating development and is relatively in a superior position compared to the death eaters or anyone else really ( in terms of expendability) and still a puppet, still attempting to break his strings but has this sense of humour that works perfectly with the irony of his situation. And his funny cutting remarks regarding his mind-resident.
| Arwen17evenstar chapter 25 . 1/10
just WOW! This is such a dark story, but I'm loving it. I just marathon-read thru all of the chapters in like two days. I love that there are still more chapters to come!
As a huge Snape fan, I'm still hoping Snape is a double agent and is actually still working for Dumbledore. You've done a wonderful job keeping him "ambiguous" even in this dark setting where Voldemort rules the world. I still think there's a good chance he's really "Dumbledore's man" and will help to defeat Voldemort in the end.
But are you planning to have Voldemort eventually defeated? I love this story because I can't tell! I have no idea if the Dark Lord is going to win and mold Harry completely into his image, or if Voldy will eventually be defeated and Harry freed from the Horcrux, or if Harry is going to become the next Dark Lord and kill Voldy!
While I admire Harry's tenacity and never-ending courage in the face of hopeless odds, I still despise his inability to control his emotions. This "Riddle in my head" thing is the best thing to ever happen to him. It gives him some modicum of emotional control and makes him less incompetent.
| HonestPuck chapter 25 . 9/19/2017
This is a really interesting story. I appreciate how unique your ideas are even though I have certainly read stories about what would happen should Voldemort have won before. Your story stands out.
I do sometimes feel frustrated with Harry's lack of leverage against Voldemort, lack of magical progress, and Voldemort's lack of obvious development. You keep teasing that Harry has been studying his wandless magic book but with no sense of success so far. And now with the activation of his Horcrux he seems even less in control.
I also have conflicting feelings about Watanabe. I suppose this might be intentional on your part but its frustrating! I like Harry's relationship with him in general and I find his character interesting but there are moments that I wish Harry would react differently. For the most recent example, the Foundation. I think Harry's more reasonable response to this would be anger. He is being told that he can help people but has no reason to believe that this Foundation that he will be promoting will actually have any real positive effect for the people and creatures he is trying to help. The main effect would actually probably just be an increase in favorable public opinion for Voldemort's regime. Saying Harry is starting this foundation and working with the new government is a huge boost to them but there is no real reason that they need to actually follow through with anything accept superficially. Voldemort has a strangle hold on the media so they will print what he tells them. The average citizen will be none the wiser. Yet, Watanabe tells him that it will all be good and he immediately believes that he can do it and make a difference. It just seems he has no valid reason for trusting and liking Watanabe as much as he does.
As for Voldemort, I suppose we possibly saw a glimpse of development when we saw his mirror of Erised wish which could imply that he had weirdly started to value/care about Harry as a person but it could also really just mean that he still desires Harry to be his completely obedient prized possession.
Overall I'm impressed and I will definitely be checking back for your next update!
| namisnakama chapter 25 . 8/22/2017
that was a really good story! Harrys in a tight place but with his horcrux and takumi maybe he's got a chance after all.. Im looking forward to more merging between him and tom. I think that ought to be interesting!
| Vhully chapter 25 . 7/27/2017
Join the Magical Rights Foundation today! We're a puppet organization designed with the purposes of weeding out the weaklings through monitoring our supporters and keeping citizen morale stable enough as to not incite a revolution immediately. I can see why Voldemort would allow something like this to go through, if done right all it would be doing would be giving him info on those who disagree with him. Of course the public would catch on eventually, but something is bound to happen.
| Guest chapter 25 . 7/6/2017
Please finish this story it's so good!
| LittleSpiderOnTheWall chapter 25 . 7/5/2017
Greate job! Love your Voldemort, he is so realistic. However I find it a bit tiresome to read through all this angst, would like to see more of a . Hope their merging will speed up a bit.
| Reader-anonymous-writer chapter 5 . 6/13/2017
Of course, there is a Death Eater in the Auror Department.