|Reviews for A Different Meeting|
| slaaneshgod chapter 13 . 9/26/2014
I am enjoying the theme and changes in the story and characters a great deal thank you for writing it and sharing with us. On that note I must point out s typo that is driving me nuts, you have at least the last couple chapters been calling the district nermia which I believe is nerima. I do love and hope to see more of this story in the future.
| Ibskib chapter 4 . 8/15/2014
Not a bad beginning for a Ranma/Shampoo pairing, although the setup felt a bit contrived, and it could use a bit more proofreading to fix those last mistakes:
winched - winced
mussed - mused
defiantly - definitely
| Karibanu chapter 13 . 8/4/2014
Ne-ri-ma, not Nermia - there's a few other transpositions elsewhere you might want to check too.
Akane's mallet is a convenient scene change in the manga, probably not quite so necessary to use it so much in written form. You could just have him walk out occasionally!
| Radio Driver chapter 13 . 8/1/2014
Good goin, Buzz. Keep on keepin on.
| Dumbledork chapter 13 . 7/31/2014
I like what you've done with Ukyo.
| Moose Breath chapter 4 . 7/27/2014
Still a good story.
But, your English needs work.
You are definitely using "defiantly" wrongly. If that word was introduced by spell-check, remember that only the writer really knows what word was intended. The computer can only guess. If "Commonly confused words" was the culprit, see above and realize that hitting "Change" will only switch the words, NOT use the correct one. If you run the check again, it will stop at the same point and offer to change words again, probably back to the original one.
A quotation that ends with a definitive sentence followed by more words should have a comma before the quotation mark with the next word not capitalized unless it is a proper name. For example: "You are sure popular with the guys," laughed Ranma.
If the quotation includes the name/nickname of the person to whom the quotation is directed to make sure that that person is the one intended, that name/nickname is separated by a comma. For example: "Sh-Sh-Shampoo, how did you find me?" stammered Ranma. If this would cause too many commas, usually the sentence could be broken up into two or more sentences to improve clarity. For example: "Wow, Akane. For a tomboy, you sure are ...". (That sentence as submitted here could have been heard at a carnival, "Wow Akane for a tomboy! "Wow Genma for a panda! Hurry, hurry, hurry!")
Please re-read this chapter (and chp 3) and fix these problems. Also, please insert commas where necessary to improve understanding and reading flow. Some of the sentences border on run-on due to the lack of commas.
The story is good, but could be so much better. If you have a pre-reader for grammar, either listen better or fire this one. If not, you need one. At least you're not making the then/than goof. In that, you are better than maybe 3/4 of the better authors here.
ps. I really like the story. mb
| Moose Breath chapter 1 . 7/27/2014
Good opening chapter. A little short but a good setup and introduction.
One pet peeve: it's not "to try AND do something," it is "to try TO do something." If one DOES something, the initial TRY is implied. I know common usage is the former, but it doesn't parse correctly.
The author should try to remember that a large percentage of readers do not have American/The Queen's English as a first language. Using proper/correct wording, punctuation, and syntax helps greatly in both translating and silent reading. Also, the "printed" page does not have inflections, hand gestures, body language, facial expressions or intonations to indicate subtleties. As much as 60% of the information conveyed in a face to face conversation does not happen via words. In a "printed" story, one only has words and, to a limited extent, font changes for everything.
This should be obvious, but it is so easy to forget.
Well, back to the story.
| Ibskib chapter 13 . 7/27/2014
There were several fragmented sentences, I would suggest another read through or two, perhaps also reading it out aloud to yourself or another it is a great way to force yourself to look at a text with fresh eyes.
| regfurby chapter 13 . 7/26/2014
Nice to see that Shampoo and Ukyo are getting along so well. Hope they agree to share Ranma rather than squabble over him.
| AzaggThoth chapter 13 . 7/26/2014
You got some almost painful spelling errors in there along with some repeated lines. They can really break the flow of reading the chapter. Otherwise it's a nice chapter.
| Major Mike Powell III chapter 13 . 7/26/2014
Well, well, soldier...
Hoo-rrah! 1st Review, Btches!
Mmmhmmm...this...ohhh my, this...yeees, I liked this! (Wavy Line)
So, here we have Ukyo having a little chat with her dear old friend Ran-chan, and of course, dem shenanigans! *O*
I really enjoyed that she apologized for nearly clobbering the poor basterd, and Hell, she seems to like Ranma's girl look, eh? ;3 Also, she's gettin' along great with Shampoo! That's awesome! :3
And dayum, dat little impromptu bath scene...XD I was giggling like a total idiot through that part, Hell, I'm still giggling. XD That was great! (Wavy Line) *O*
And now, I wonder what, ohhh what Ukyo has in store for Ranma for her restaurant's grand opening, yeees! (Very Evil Smirk)
Great work, Marine! Keep it up!
Update ASAP! That's an order!
Semper-Fi! Carry on!
| Jenkinst chapter 12 . 5/22/2014
This is a good story I like the way the change has impacted the story so far keep up the awesome writing
| Major Mike Powell III chapter 12 . 5/16/2014
Well, well, soldier...
(Whistles) Wow. I sure wasn't expecting an update for this, after all this time. :O But hey, I love it when I'm proven wrong like this, yesh. :3
So, this was quite interesting, quite lovely, too. (Wavy Line)
So, Colonge has a talk with her jealous little Great-Granddaughter, and she seems to have snapped her out of her funk. :3 That was nice.
And of course, it's time to collect, eh Shampoo? (Wavy Line) Yesh. ;3 Ranma owes her dinner, and damn it, she's gonna get it. X3
Also, nice set-up there, with Akane bashing Ranma into a lake...during a boat race? XD That was fun. LOL But hey, Shampoo saved her there, so they might as well enjoy the festival. :3 And they do so...by entering a martial arts beach volleyball tournament? Oh c'mon! XD Geez, every social event in "Ranma 1/2" seems to have the "martial arts" gimmick to it. LMAO This is ridiculous...but hey, Shampoo groped Ranma (Oppai! Big and beautiful. *O*) and also, dem swimsuits! *O* Dayum! (Wavy Line)
So, that's 1 match for Ranma and Shampoo. Bring on the next ones! X3
Great work! Keep it up!
Update ASAP! That's an order!
Semper-Fi! Carry on!
| Radio Driver chapter 12 . 5/16/2014
Good going, Buzz. Keep on keepin on.
| Ibskib chapter 5 . 5/16/2014
This story could benefit from a bit more proofreading, the errors I noticed in this chapter:
sparing - sparring
spared - sparred
screw the meaning - scew the meaning
do it properly - do so (to avoid a clumsy repetition)
some of fun - some fun
regret latter - regret later
this harlots - these harlots
said Ranma darkly - Ranma said darkly