|Reviews for 23 Reasons Why the Harry Potter Books and Movies S|
| AnimeGirl639 chapter 1 . 3/7
Just to be honest, I liked the Harry Potter series, but I must admit that I've never found huge flaws, I just... read the books! But now that I've read this, I do think that the series could have been better. I agree that some of the things written are pretty stupid! :) The people who say this sucks, and that you are an idiot, they seem like idiots themselves. So, this has greatly changed my perspective on the series, and I agree with at least 97% of this!
| HelloGoodbye chapter 1 . 12/15/2013
* (Still me. Just couldn't review twice, and I really want to get my point across)
And finally: childish? I’m too tired to use capitals, exclamation marks or anything else, but I guess that this will make the idea pretty clear: what a dumb**s… You’re really calling those seven books childish? THIS, this c**p that you wrote, THIS is childish. YOU’RE childish. You’re in luck, because you gave absolutely no reasons to support that comment (unless your reasons were the ‘werewolves, unicorns and flying brooms’, in which case, you’re just plain sad), because, otherwise, you’d have to actually use your non-existing brain to try and decode how I would invalidate each and every one of them. Which is what I am doing to your reasons on why Harry Potter ‘s’.
13) I don't have anything to say to this except that it is very clear to me that you have never been (and probably never will be) in a relationship.
14) So? You got along with your mom after seeing her once, didn't you? Oh, sorry. Wrong person to ask... I think your mom is as sick of you as the rest of the world, isn't she?
15) Oh, wow. I think you really need to see a doctor. Pathetic? You try comforting a victim of a hit and run who'll never walk again! People get depressed when life's sh**ty! People get self-esteem issues! People are HUMANS, with feelings!
And your answer to his issue of NOT BEING ABLE TO GET A JOB ON ACCOUNT OF HIS PROBLEM (because people can be as discriminating as you, you're not alone, don't worry) is lying, really? Wow, I pity your children and the education they won't be receiving. I'm just kidding. I know you'll never find someone willing to put up with you enough to have kids with you.
16) So sorry you were bored. Don't try reading and just generally using your brain next time, then. Honestly...
17) Because they're books. Get over it. It's got to have an introduction, development and conclusion. It wouldn't be interesting if it were about how Harry's toast was burned, or how he bought a new toothbrush, or anything mundane. Its theme is called 'Adventure' for a reason. The climax IS when he nearly dies, because his adventures are dangerous, and J.K. Rowling wrote about them for a REASON, and what the hell do you write about after the climax? Practically nothing, so the book ends! Jesus, grow up.
18) The hat wasn't 'adamant about putting him in Slytherin', it just felt that he had a chance to fare there. But, please, do me a favor and use a little bit of your brain: if Harry really did belong in Slytherin, the hat wouldn't have just put him in Gryffindor. In my opinion, the fact that he contradicted and stood up to the old and (admittedly) ragged fate-deciding hat, being an eleven-year-old in a brave new world with zero to no knowledge of it, is kinda Gryffindor-y. But, good (and I actually mean it this time). It wasn't that bad a point, if you had thought it over more thoroughly. This is actually dealt with in the second book, and it's a social critic to discrimination (of any kind). You know, that thing you do to people who know how stupid you are.
19) So... Exactly like the world we live in? Honestly... You tire me. They're like that because it's a social critic. Jesus...
20) You got one thing right (and that, combined with your reason 1, gives you one full point! :D Good for you!): Dumbledore did try to prepare and test Harry for what he knew was coming. He didn't know about Quirrell, but he DID suspect, as shown in the last book, and, like it is said in the first book and you accurately pointed out (that's a first), Harry felt like Dumbledore was testing him. And I completely fail to see how his being 'weird' has anything to do with that. Or with anything, as a matter of fact. I mean, you're weird, and yet my judgment is directed at your stupidity, not your weirdness.
21) Well, that's kinda because they're, uh... wizards. You know, the plot of the story? But you're right, it would make total sense to make them less reliable on the gift which makes them part of the community they're part of, a community that functions practically solely on magic. Also, that would depend on how fast a wizard could throw a curse. 'Cause, make it fast enough (and, when I say fast enough, I mean within the time that would take a 'black-belt martial' to reach them... No, it wouldn't be possible to throw a curse in that time at all), and it'd be over in less than a second. But, you know, that's all technicalities. :D
22) I see... Well, I'm with you! In MY case though, I despise the prejudice between murderers and charity workers! I mean, they're all people, aren't they?! EQUALITY FOR THE WIN!
Please tell me you didn't just say that? I mean, I had some hope that you were just a young kid with a couple miles to go yet, but you're honestly beginning to prove me wrong. Killing curse: there are other ways to do that without causing the damage this curse does to your soul (as J.K. Rowling has explained to us regarding the method of creating Horcruxes - dumbass). Cruciatus Curse: this is not medicine. This curse is intended to cause pain, not inflict upon the nerves. Who told you that it affected the nerves, and not just the pain receptors in your brain directly? And who told you that your 'method' actually works? (Before you answer this, bear in mind that I am almost a med student...) And I saved the best for last - Imperius Curse: dude... Really? Well, that's totally the first thing to do when you see a kid falling into a cauldron. Not stopping him (you could use those things next to your body called arms and hands), but cursing him with a mind-controlling spell. Totally.
Of course! I mean, that's the first thing that comes to mind when I think about tripping and tickling. What else? Definitely not pranks and jokes, but death and torture. And, just a side note: uh, sticking your foot forward or tickling someone with your own hands would... kinda have the same effect. Not that that's relevant or anything.
23) OH MY GOD, NO WAY. HOW DARE THE TEACHERS BE DEAD? HOW DARE THEY FOLLOW THE NATURAL COURSE OF LIFE? FYI, a teacher being dead means he's no longer working at Hogwarts. With the obvious exception of Binns, but, if you wanna go there, sure, we'll go there. Binns is J.K. Rowling's way of portraying the popular view of History teachers/classes. Well, darn! You just learned to interpret books! You're a total idiot, and the reason Harry Potter is such a success is because the rest of the world isn't (bless them all).
The incompetent teachers, you'll find, are, jeez, I dunno, the bad guys? (Ahem, Quirrell, ahem). There's Quirrell, there's Umbridge, there's Lockhart (I know, this one wasn't a (totally) bad guy, and I feel like I'm just providing an excuse for him, but there was no one else for the job, according to what Dumbledore said... So, you get a maybe in the incompetence thing... Congrats! :D), and then there's... no one else? Unless you count the Carrows, but... evil, yeah?
Uh, no, not humorous. At all. Humorous are serious reviewers who take REAL faults with the books/movies and present them, backing them up with REAL arguments (what you use are NOT arguments - they are the retarded views of someone with no life and no friends. I bet, I swear I would bet everything I own, that you're the kind of shy girl (guy?) who says nothing at all, and, when you do, everyone thinks you're a total moron, so you tend to keep silent. I know someone like that, and, oh boy...). Go check out Cinemasin on Youtube. They have a review of the first two Harry Potter movies, and I love them. You know why? Because they found real holes in the plot/film itself, and they gave us proper reasoning for them. THAT'S a humorous review. This... This is just plain sad. It's past the point of pathetic. And, wow, that's the way! 'Here, I baked this! It's not good? Well, F*** YOU!' Damn, you ought to show every celebrity out there how to deal with people! You posted this online, publicly. That means you WANT feedback. And, unless I just have a really messed up view of human behavior, usually, a person wants POSITIVE feedback on their doings.
Just one last thing: to have read this properly, you would have needed the meaning of sarcasm. If you do not possess this skill, there is nowhere you can download it, and you are a moron. Also, this IS a flame. Do not mistake it for something else. It is not 'constructive criticism', because although there is a lot of criticism to do here, there is no construction. There. Now, please, don't forget to 'destroy me' and 'make me cry'. Oh my God, I swear I get the hiccups every time I read that. I'm sliding off my chair, and I'm barely able to keep my fingers still to be able to write this, and my family's been looking at me funny for the past half-hour (it took me a while to regain my wits from hysteria-land).
By the way, I literally created this account so you could answer me, and PLEASE do. I'm dying to hear from you. I know, I know, I'm wasting too much time on this and seriously over-inflating your ego, but I can't help it. You're just so damn ridiculous!
BONUS ROUND! EVERY SPELLING MISTAKE YOU MADE:
“on a cold autumns” – in a cold autumn’s;
“on his aunts” – on his aunt’s;
“only a some stupid” – only some stupid OR only a stupid;
“locked my in” – locked me in;
“their” – they’re;
“Ginerva” – Ginevra;
“Ginerva” – Ginevra;
“howcliché” – how cliché;
“people look at” – people looked at;
“Flying Key’s” – Flying Keys;
“their” – they’re;
“f**ks” – f**k’s (I really do dislike having to correct you here… If you’re going to swear, don’t make other people have to CORRECT your spitting on the English language);
“f**ks” – f**k’s (again?);
“Gryffindore” – Gryffindor;
“his foolishness (which is foolishly” – I’m sorry, I just had to put this one; I find it highly amusing, even though it’s not really a mistake;
“shepherd’s” – shepherds;
“Occulamency” – Occlumency;
“employees” – employee’s;
“if he were ready” – if he was ready;
“dependant” – dependent;
| HelloGoodbyeFanfictionFanfic chapter 1 . 12/15/2013
Oh dear... I fear you might be suffering from self-importance disorder... I mean, how else would you possibly think that people would actually be offended by something you- did you use the word 'wrote'? Oh... Well, I guess everyone gets a creative license, but isn't that classification a bit of a stretch? I'm just sayin'.
Oohhh, poor thing! :') You actually think anyone will care about you flaming back! Oh my God, no! You're gonna make me cry?! I'm already crying! I'm also laughing way too hard, do you think that that's related? 'Cause I'm not sure.
Oh, I adored your 'Psh' (whatever that's supposed to mean). It's the utmost proof I needed to know that you are not a whining five year-old on a tantrum. My cousin is just like that too, and did you know? He's three! :)
Uh-uh... We didn't get who you were bashing when you said '23 Reasons Why the Harry Potter Books and Movies Suck.' You definitely needed to add the roll call, and we are all thankful. (I think your title was a bit... uh... long, though. Unless you actually meant 's', and, hey, no judging. It's not like YOU'RE the dumbass. It's definitely me (and everyone else) who is in the wrong here.) And, also, thank you for all that information that we totally didn't have when we looked at the story properties. We needed to know the title, the author, the summary, etc., because that was NOT in the story slot when we opened it. (I loved how many times you repeated variations of the word ‘offend’, by the way).
Man, and I just wrote about your introduction yet...
1) Thanks for the full name. Was that supposed to make an impression? Because the only impression it left on me was that you're an idiotic pounce. But that's just me (I'm guessing).
Partial point. Dumbledore had no way of knowing certain things, BUT he DID when he started spending more time with Harry at Hogwarts. Besides, that was the only house in which he was protected. So he really didn't have a choice. But, yeah, doorstep was a bit of poor planning. And yet, I'd love to see you do better.
About what is inside parentheses: uh... what? I honestly did not understand a single word of that. Must be my dyslexia (the one I don't have), and definitely not your ‘writing’ (still a bit edgy with this term...) abilities.
2) You would? You mean you're not? I mean, I get that you don't have the 'sarcastic' part down very well (you wanna know what sarcastic is? Take a very good look at what you're reading), and yeah, if you had been pessimistic enough, you'd never have posted this (you'd have known how ridiculous it is), AND, if you'd also been cynic enough, you wouldn't have believed that anyone would ever consider this good ‘writing skills’, but you got the rest down perfectly!
Oh... Sounds like you haven't given it much thought at all, really. Oh, yeah, 'cause you are SO the first person I (or anyone else) would go to for advice. My God, if I ever found this by accident while on that state of mind, my first thought wouldn't be to kill my family, it would be to kill you! Jesus!
Oh, dear... Again with the self-importance and delusions? Why would ANYONE care about you enough for you to get into trouble? Sarcasm and bluntness?! Gregory House is sarcastic and blunt, you're just a smug di** who thinks he/she owns the world and has the answers to everything!
3) ... A human one? I mean, forgive me, because I'm sure you're perfect (this... commentary certainly constitutes proof of that) and I'm sure that everyone you know is also perfect (that is actually more believable - putting up with your 'bluntness and sarcasm' (WTF) seems quite a challenge), but, hello, welcome to the real world, where people have feelings and weaknesses and bad sides! It's a strange new reality, and it takes us all a while to adjust, of course! It's definitely not just you or your oh-so-intelligent observations!
What you should be asking yourself is: what kind of friend changes and admits he/she is wrong? The kind YOU DON'T HAVE, that's what.
4) Yes, of course, you're absolutely right. Kids these days! Being married with three children after nineteen years together... Unbelievable! It's like they jump into everything. Whatever happened to the arranged marriages, or the wild nights of partying that resulted in that funny unwanted pregnancy, all that jazz? THAT'S true love! THAT'S the proper way to do it! Not by falling in love and dating and getting married after a few years! I mean, there's just no build-up anymore!
Yes, we really didn't understand what b**** you meant. You really DID have to add it in parentheses.
Uh-uh. So Harry's apparently deficient relationship with Ginny somehow prevents you from reading about him with a woman? You gotta love logic and rationality!
Yes, Ginny has always been a damn damsel in distress. I especially noticed that when she defied her parents and left the Room of Requirement to fight in the battle. She was just so distressed, sighing in despair while she fought off Bellatrix with Luna and Hermione. Total wimp.
5) Yes, it's REALLY lame. It's like, my God, REALLY? Showing respect for people in your life which you lost (most) and are still grieving over? Showing respect for people who stood by your side in a war you could, would, not, by any luck, win? How HORRIBLY CLICHED. It totally makes me want to throw up too! (You do. You make me wanna throw up.)
And by ‘most people’ you mean… who, exactly? Did you conduct a study or something? Jeez…
Okay… I guess that, if an adult with sight problems is a ‘half blind middle aged man’, then a kid with a broken leg is a ‘baby boy crippled for life’. Hey, I’m just using your classification method here. Though I agree, that’s totally Dumbledore and, sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m pretty sure that he’d be ecstatic to be called that.
6) That… was the point? Oh, yeah, Harry’s strength is grabbing flying keys out of the air! No, I know what you meant, but so what? Did you, by any chance, write the story? Who are you to point out mistakes you THINK J.K. Rowling made? What are you basing that assumption on? What’s your term of comparison that makes this plot wrong? (Now that I’ve confused you, please go get someone with some degree of intelligence – I imagine there would be no one near YOU with that characteristic – to explain to you what I just said).
7) First of all, no one said that. Hagrid told Harry that all dark wizards had come from Slytherin, not that all Slytherins were dark wizards. He was stating a fact, and, please! Like YOU’RE not discriminating! “Well, if you weren’t HP fans or were HP fans who didn’t mind me taking the piss out of the series you would have enjoyed it. But if your hardcore, brainwashed and obsessive fans I’d simply LOVE to see you try and flame me.” (We’ll get to why I’m having trouble breathing through my laughter at this comment in a mo, don’t worry) Quit being a hypocrite! Secondly, we get it already! ‘Not a good one’! Glad you’re so original when you’re repeating things!
8) Wait, hold up: I thought you DIDN’T like the books OR the movies? Wasn’t that the whole point of this pathetic thing? Please help me with my confusion. After all, I assume that’s a state of mind which you’re in, 24/7, so you know how to deal with it by now, right?
9) Yes, this is the main reason why the Harry Potter books/movies totally suck. Because Christian Coulson and Frank Dillane weren’t hot. And WTF? Really? First: KID. Second: what the hell are you basing those statements on? When he smoothly talked Slughorn into telling him about horcruxes? Oh, yeah, no charm, ambition or manipulation used/shown there. Jesus…
And being a half-blood and a Slytherin is automatically something ‘not going for him’?
… Remind me again about discrimination?
10) You do realize that that is something pointed out by Harry himself, don’t you? He’s perfectly aware that he’s seriously lucky, and that he has seriously good and lucky friends. But you do remember that he is the hero of the Wizarding World for a reason, right? HE DEFEATED VOLDEMORT.
11) Good grief, girl (boy?), what does it take to get you interested? ‘ding ding’?! Did you really write ‘ding ding’?! Oh, yes, you hit the nail in the head right there. That is EXACTLY the sound made in the movies. Wand duel lights flying. Uh… Okay. So what IS a magical duel? Curse lights flying between opponents? Oh, wait… That’s exactly what you wrote, right? (And spells fly off course the same way bullets fly off course, get over yourself. Idiot.)
Uh-uh. I heard that you totally DON’T die when your entire skin gets burned. I even heard that it’s actually great for the skin-tone. You get a tan!
OH MY GOD, I CAN’T TORTURE SOMEONE! I’M SO FREAKING WEAK! I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO STUFFING IN ME! I’M A D**K! A TOTAL A**! No, wait, that’s you.
12) I- I- I- can’t. I just… can’t. Dear lord, please help me…
Okay, let’s begin: firstly, the title of this is ’23 Reasons Why the Harry Potter Books and Movies S’. Now, I don’t know what it means, but for the sake of this sentence, let’s assume the ‘s’ stands for ‘suck’. I don’t know, it just feels like ‘suck’. And yet you say ‘sure, I like the HP series’. I’m confused (again). I get the feeling that that is a common occurrence to anyone reading what you… ‘write’ (again, I have a problem with that word! I just don’t know why!).
And, oh my god, really? Werewolves and unicorns and flying brooms already exist and J.K. Rowling put all those myths in one story for public enjoyment? How DARE she? And, and, WHAT?! She came up with Portkeys?! SO UNIMAGINATIVE! Like, totally, and junk, and like, just… no. *high-pitched giggle*
Are you quite done, or do you wish to be more of a moronic bimbo?
Okay, seriously? I’ll admit, I’ve read stories where that was true, but I can assure you: the Harry Potter series was NOT one of them. I had no problem remembering anything about the characters, and if you did, that just makes you an idiot. And I’m very sorry that you’re an idiot.
And finally: childish? I’m too tired to use capit
| sfjoellen chapter 1 . 12/11/2013
you make some good points n00b. a few manners wouldn't hurt though
| belphegor chapter 1 . 12/6/2013
some of your reasons are pretty retarded ..
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 10/22/2013
Wizards can perform wandless magic- for example, in SS, Hagrid explains that wizards can make things happen if they're scared, angry or upset. Being attacked by a black belt would certainly make me scared.
| some person chapter 1 . 9/22/2013
You don't scare me. I could prove all of this wrong, but I don't bother with little things like this. You need to learn that threatening people usually dosen't work. Plus I've never cared what others think, and I don't care if you don't like Harry Potter, but you don't have to be a brat about it.
| Hermione Is My Role Model chapter 1 . 7/8/2013
YOU ARE SO FRICKING IMMATURE. WHY DON'T YOU GO STICK YOUR HEAD UP YOUR ARSE INSTEAD OF INSULTING THE MILLIONS OF HARRY POTTER FANS INCLUDING ME! WHY IN THE NAME OF MERLIN'S MOST BAGGY PAIR OF UNDIES ARE YOU EVEN BOTHERING WRITING ON FANFIC IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO WRITE CRAPPY LISTS OF INSULTS TO HARRY POTTER? GO SUCK YOUR MOTHER'S DICK! THAT'S ALL YOU WILL EVER BE GOOD FOR! I HOPE VOLDEMORT SWOOPS DOWN ON YOU AND CURSES YOUR BALLS OFF! YOU ARE A FUCKING IMMATURE IMBECILE! HARRY POTTER IS THE BEST SERIES IN THE WHOLE BLOODY WORLD! ONLY AN IDIOT WOULD THINK OTHERWISE! IN ALL MY YEARS OF LIFE I HAVE NEVER MET A PERSON WHO DISLIKED HARRY POTTER! GROW UP, YOU MORON! AND DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND PISS OFF FROM FANFICTION! WHY AM I EVEN BOTHERING TO REVIEW THIS INFANTILE STORY? YOU ARE WORTHLESS! I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL!
| misachan233 chapter 1 . 7/3/2013
Wooow...this was depressing. Your reasons were terrible and you made no sense what-so-ever. You are claiming the books and movies suck, but you said that you like the books. What? Second of all, J.K Rowling isn't imaginative?! J.K. Rowling has been praised for her creativity, she invented her own spells, invented her own sport, and invented some of the greatest characters, with ACTUAL human traits. Ron and Hermione, exactly, they have nothing in common, but they're willing to put that aside because they love each other. And martial arts vs. magic? Magic. AVADA KEDAVRA WILL KILL YOU BEFORE YOU CAN SAY IMPERIO. And do you have to swear in every single reason? You are whiny, hot-headed, and just downright TERRIBLE. You can try to make me cry Dalal, but it's not gonna happen. Your cowardly and you hide behind your harsh words. AND HARRY COMES SO CLOSE TO DEATH BECAUSE IF YOU WERE IN THAT SITUATION YOU WOULD BE DEAD! All your other reasons are crap.
| Harrypotterloverfan chapter 1 . 6/20/2013
Your reasons are so not true
| lawl chapter 1 . 6/18/2013
want to know what i said after this... without the cuss words...
| lawl chapter 1 . 6/18/2013
bitch what was that
| But why chapter 1 . 6/14/2013
| snow white chapter 1 . 6/14/2013
You've raised some good points, but nothing I haven't already thought of on my own. I personally don't beliece HP sucks for these reasons. As someone who's been a fan since childhood, I am probably biased, but that's just what I think. You certainly have pointed out some major flaws in the series, although I have nothing against Ginny or Harry's kids' names. Nor do I think that Harry is a pussy. I liked the movies and honestly don't see what Tom Riddle's actor has to do with anything, but other than that I mostly agree with you. However, I still love HP with all my heart.
| Cissaflake chapter 1 . 6/5/2013
okay dont insult Sev. other than that even though i am a totally obsessed HP fan, i laughed at like all of the reasons, even though i like all of the characters that you insulted, it was hilarious. And strangly i didnt mind you taking the piss out of it.