|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Temporal Beacon|
| Guest chapter 54 . 8h
Fumation. That's a fun word. Sounds very authentic, I could imagine that being in the books.
| Guest chapter 36 . 11h
I believe blood, skin or saliva also work. It's generally assumed for stuff like that.
| JKRisTheGoddess chapter 9 . 8/6
I'm very impressed with your originality in the twins prank on Moody backfiring. Funny. Thanks!
| Guest chapter 63 . 7/27
(I'm the guy who wrote that one long-winded review just below this one.)
I realize the "blu bluh women" part sounds political, or that I'm displeased that you're having them deal with issues that might pop up in real life. My gripe with it is that you've simplified every female character and every interaction with them down to a "I have something to prove" situation. They don't feel like unique individuals like your other characters do (or did), and they aren't interesting. Imagine if every single interaction with Ron ended with him getting incredibly jealous and storming off. Even after 50 interactions with him and character development happening, without fail Ron will be very jealous of something Harry has and will leave the room in a huff. That simplifies his character down to exactly one trait and it sticks around long after it should have been resolved.
Instead of writing interesting characters who just happen to be women, you've written bland characters whose only characteristic is that they ARE women. Fleur doesn't have many ambitions beyond curse-breaking (and that was a previous loop, so fuck that I guess). You could have introduced her family to show some interactions there. You could have given her a passion for something she loved doing in France. You could have given her a certain dislike for heavier English food because it gives her stomach aches. Her character can be summed up as "she's real good at fighting and everyone is surprised or doesn't like it, all because she's a woman". Everything is just intrinsically linked to her gender, like the story can't seem to move past it and make her an interesting character.
| Guest chapter 63 . 7/27
Boring, boring boring. Time travel has taken a FAR back seat to "Harry and Hermione fuck all the shit up with their super cool future knowledge, and are generally clueless as to why people are feeling suspicious of them". The first time Harry went through the Triwizard Tournament, he had strengths and weakness. He felt fear and made mistakes because of his judgement. He fucked up his relationship with Hermione, and he gradually made friends with champions by bumbling his way into their hearts. But now that you've undone that with Harry's death, everything that made Harry feel real and human has been stripped away. He doesn't care that anybody thinks it's weird how he knows things he shouldn't know, and he acts on knowledge that he shouldn't have that he received from past lives. Not even subtly, either; he nearly attacks Moody and insists several times he's more-or-less being possessed, but when he's asked why he thinks that all he gives is a weak, "oh, uh... y-you know, just a thought." He doesn't even try to hide how he got the knowledge, he just acts on it without thinking even though by now he should be wiser; in short, you've written canon!Harry if he had magic future knowledge.
It's just boring. I find myself skipping everything involving Harry and Hermione being perfect wizards who keep making stupid decisions without worrying about the consequences, in favour of reading the actually interesting parts involving Moody suspecting that Harry is actually James (or just has James' memories), or Dumbledore's delusions that Harry is an up-and-coming Dark Lord. I don't care about the friendships they make, because I know that time travel is a part of the story and that it'll all be undone soon enough. You could argue that this is why Harry and Hermione are acting like they are (because they know the consequences are only temporary), but the consequences in question seem to blindside them every single time.
They don't seem to care very much about their ability to travel through time. The ability to have a do-over with no downsides (aside from deteriorating memory of past-future events) makes their behaviour confusing. Harry ALLEGEDLY feels bad that his friend's brother is dead, but doesn't do that one thing that costs him nothing in order to fix it. Harry and Hermione can save scum like in a video game, but are arbitrarily choosing not to. If you had done something like added the risk that the runes might deteriorate or that it has an affect on their health to limit the number of times they can travel back, then I could see them being hesitant to use up another do-over just to save one person's red-haired life. But you've given them no restrictions and yet they seem to be doing a challenge run for no reason whatsoever.
You'll notice that I'm always saying "Harry and Hermione" instead of using them individually. That's because in the last two or so dozen chapters, they've become a two-headed individual instead of two distinct characters. Hermione performs perfectly in Harry's place in the tournament. Hermione is always with Harry, and Harry is always talking and thinking about Hermione. They're now a single character for all the distinction the story treats them with, and everything one does affects the other.
Which brings me to my next point: everything they've done (Fleming, that shit with Sirius, Alice, etc) is pointless. It's not even flavour text, because it has no effect on the story at large. None of it exists except to give Harry and Hermione something to do until they inevitably travel back in time, and it doesn't even give them a life lesson or reveal a new secret that will be useful the next time they have to live through 4th year. It's like watching a beginner play an RPG, where he's leveling up a character aimlessly and seems to take quests for the sake of doing them and being slightly stronger than he was before he took it. No particular direction, no goal, no weapon he wants to specialize to take down a boss a certain way or get a specific ending; just "make the numbers bigger".
You clearly lost your must at around chapter 40, and I don't blame you for abandoning the story five years ago. It was fun at first, but it just got... boring.
PS: you write women poorly. Every time somebody talks about a girl/a girl talks about herself, they're either saying:
1) "Oh she can't do anything, she's just a girl."
2) "Despite being a girl, she can fight well."
3) "People only see me as a girl and think I'm delicate."
Every single female character (minus the teachers) will, without fail, either get mad and say "I'm just as good as one of the guys" or 'one of the guys' will think she isn't as good as they are. If it isn't Hermione huffing every time Harry acts protective of her, it's Harry saying "I know you're super capable and are way smarter than I am and are perfect and have never ever ever made a single mistake, especially in our relationship, but please get behind me so that I can protect you, you delicate flower." Even Fleur, who held her own on the tournament, falls victim to this and laments that people only see her as a delicate flower. Your entire story acts on the assumption that a woman doing well and being strong is the exception instead of the rule, and it takes every opportunity presented to make the females show that they are strong independent women who don't need NO man. Over and over again. Like, the women are obsessed with what men think of them. None of them feel like they can rise above it and stop caring what a couple of idiots think about them; they're just slaves to man's opinion, eagerly chomping at the bit and taking the bait each and every time.
Harry: "I think you're beautiful, Hermione."
Hermione: "EXCUSE ME?! Can't a woman be powerful and strong too?!"
Random bystander: "Harry, you fucked up. To prove that she's more than a vagina with legs, buy her flowers and jewelry and other stereotypically feminine stuff."
This story might as well be titled, "Harry and Hermione sometimes go back in time, and also every single female character is obsessed with what men think of them."
| huntjd1 chapter 49 . 7/25
I am about to give-up on this story altogether. this reset is just plain fucked. You have already related this to groundhogs day. Why haven't they initiated a rest before now? Every thing seems to be going wrong. Why haven't they corrected the situation with a reset? It just does not make sense.
| huntjd1 chapter 40 . 7/25
So? From what I deduce from this chapter this reset is to be nothing more than a crack or spoof? You basically have them messing every thing up right for the start. While I really hate spoofs I guess I have no choice but to see how this one goes.
| huntjd1 chapter 39 . 7/25
I have really enjoyed the story up until this point even if I thought the the supposed unbiased Triwizard cup was extremely biased ruling against Harry when it was another party all together that interfered with the tournament. personally I think you should have found another way to get the results you wanted. Then we get to this chapter. At this point it is irrelevant and amounts to an Omake. It is obviously a past life that no longer has any relevance what so ever. What is the point of bringing it up this late in the story? It would have gone over much better at the beginning of the story instead of after a deliberate cliffhanger when this past life has absolutely no relevance. It was all I could do to skim through this out of place chapter. Hopefully the next chapter gets on with the story.
| Tortzyaboi chapter 70 . 7/20
Really compelling story with an interesting twist on the usual time travel stuff. I enjoyed it a lot and can only hope for an inexplicable return to continue it.
I feel like the new defense professor is going to turn out to be an unspeakable who came back with them last time. Although that would mean he'd need to be connected to the runes fully because of the interluding deaths
| BlueKarou79 chapter 70 . 7/17
The DOM angle scares me. They say they are "doing what's best for magical Britian", but that is very much how Dumbledore would dismiss his criminal puppet master BS.
What they did to Alice in the last go around was heart breaking. They seem to not have souls. I am extremely leary of this DADA teacher. Maybe the part of the DOM he works for has a conscience, but I don't have much hope.
Way back towards the beginning after the first major rest I almost stopped reading when they came back and didn't remember anything. That first major go through was so important to them as people, and as a couple, i don't think I could have gone on if they didn't get their memories back the next chapter.
I am kind of intrigued by this Slughorn. I wish I could have read more about him. Close to canon, but just different enough to be interesting.
Great job so far. I realize this will probably not be continued after all this time, but thanks for writing, and I hope you are well.
| BlueKarou79 chapter 58 . 7/16
I tend to skip author's notes, but yours are pretty insightful. I haven't read even one canon analysis of yours that I had the thought "well that is quite a stretch", like I often do with other similar author's notes.
| Guest chapter 70 . 7/15
Oh my god. It's an unspeakable. I HATE them.
| Ethan76 chapter 62 . 7/13
At this point, either the moment he realized Malfoy was. Voldie or the moment Alice went to the DOM, they should have started over and tried again. It was too risky ignoring Moody being suspicious and it would have made a heck of a lot more sense to have him as an ally rather than an enemy. And if they already had dirt on Skeeter to keep her in line AND incentive to bring a Potions Master... it would have been easier
| A crook shanks chapter 13 . 6/28
| PwnerofHeroes chapter 8 . 6/23
I feel like 14 is a bit old for the talk, good story so far though