|Reviews for Betrothed|
| Aservis Roturier chapter 15 . 5/3
A well-told tale. From the position in time, in 2017 it's tough to locate older gems like these, but it is always worth it.
I particularly enjoyed your ability to keep Sebastian in character as to his motivations and likely thoughts. And I was seriously wondering if anyone was ever going to dredge up Ms Dyer or use the odious baby farmers in a story. Extra points for doing your history homework.
Really. Well done.
| Aservis Roturier chapter 13 . 5/3
I will never understand why people feel compelled to apologise for dialogue! What is supposed to be wrong with dialogue? In real life what other way is there to learn things but to listen to people talk? And it's such a powerful writing tool! Plays are nothing but talk yet people pay to watch them, songs are dialogue set to music, but no one badmouths that...what do people complain of when they complain about dialogue?
This is a wonderful scene as was the one that went before. It would have been simply a dull fairytale deviod of real life an emotion had you decided to tell it all without dialogue. when you pick up a novel and read a chapter you'll have read thousands of words and most of the time at least half of it will be dialogue. I see no reason to apologise for long chapters or dialogue heavy chapters either. If that's the tool you decided to pull from your writer's toolkit and use to tell this part of the story then you must've had a good reason for choosing it over other forms of will always reign as the best way to tell a story because it gives you the feel of immediacy-as though we are children crept to the head of the stairs and are listening to the adults talk below us about adult things, instead of being in our beds sleeping-dialogue always gives the reader the sense they are there, on the spot listening to what's happening in real time. Compared to that exposition comes in a poor second, and can be likened to listening to a friend relate some gossip he or she may have heard from who knows how many people removed from the one who actually witnessed it. It's the difference between hearing about a murder on the news or reading it in the paper, and witnessing the act with your own eyes.
Never diss dialogue. Be proud you can write it so excellently and that it represents your characters well within their intended personalities as given by their creator. You did a wonderful job of that.
| Aservis Roturier chapter 3 . 5/3
It has always been a head canon of mine that Tanaka knows all. I liked this.
I especially liked that you gave Tanaka the responsibility and personal power to assume the position of true Steward of Phantomhive, which makes him Sebastian's superior and in a position to preempt and even reprove him. That is missing in the true manga where he's usually just a figure of fun and very occasionally a handy deus ex machina.
| Aservis Roturier chapter 7 . 5/3
I think it was just the right touch of retrospective. You gave some more important developments then gave us a change of pace in which to digest it's meaning while observing the earl from a few other standpoints, a few other points of view. To me it felt exactly right.
I never pay much attention to pacing myself. I only ever notice it in others' writing when it goes badly awry. The best example I can remember was when Peter Jackson took a try at doing King Kong. He REALLY drew out one action scene in that to the point I actually had to take a break in the middle and go have a cuppa. It was exhausting! Directors ought never be producers as well! Too much power and you lose your ruddy mind!
Anyway, enjoyed the stroll around London with Snake a lot. It was a pleasant diversion. Now I'm ready for some more tension and/or action.
Lead on MacDuff!
| Anon chapter 15 . 1/18/2016
My name is Jillian. Apparently, I commit infancide in my free time.
| Animecreator chapter 4 . 12/7/2015
| Guest chapter 3 . 12/7/2015
| crangelique chapter 15 . 9/29/2013
I'm not particularly fond of the ending but I still find myself drawn to this story.
| machi-pan chapter 15 . 1/23/2013
you are absolutely brilliant
| softdreamer chapter 15 . 11/28/2012
it's really well made and the fact that Sebastian didn't love him while acknowledging that there ones of his kind who are able to do so made this story unique, I also found the characters really similar to those in canon so really, good work
I love happy endings but can't help to say that this story is great
so again good work :)
| BaraKiryuHuntress chapter 2 . 11/18/2012
hmmmm... Interesting so far!
| Sakura478 chapter 15 . 11/15/2012
Had a good plot a nice take on the future of our black butler friends. The romance between ciel and Sebastian was mostly lust but I think it was a very realistic approach to their characters. I enjoyed your story a lot. Nice job
| Cannibals Welcome chapter 8 . 11/15/2012
Was anyone else like, but Ciel... seriously... she's got damsel in distress syndrome./Oh the irony. That was my other big thought. 'oh, the irony.'
| Hopeless Mitsuki chapter 15 . 10/21/2012
awesome story really, it was amazing, the characters are so trully like in the manga, I enjoyed to read it! the story is interesting and intelligent, I loved to see one adult Ciel, always teased by Sebastian so mature and grim. He's perfect! And oh my, Sebastian too, I like the way he acts so thank you so much for the fun I'd would like to see more of those kind of story in french fandom! oh! and I really like the idea of latin title 's chapter.
| Sulix chapter 15 . 3/29/2012
This is one of my fav Kuroshitsuji fanfics out there because for me you absolutely nailed the characterization of Ciel and Sebastian... even Lizzy if you take into account when you started writing it.
The dynamics of their relationship is the most incharacter I've found. The jealousy, possessiveness, lust, "care"... and not one bit of mushiness or changes in the contract. And despite it all it's not a dark story.
Thanks for sharing.