|Reviews for Oh Horny Night, A Christmas Tale|
| MeGaN chapter 1 . 12/3/2010
I really liked this story. It was really good. The only thing that bothered me about it was Edward saying "fucking" in every sentence. It's like a girl saying "like" after evey word in evey sentence! So if you could take out 99.9% of the word "fucking"...that would be great...just kidding. Just next time don't over use that word. But I definally liked this story a lot. Sorry if I sounded like such a bitch.
| Pcdogmom chapter 1 . 12/3/2010
Great story except for he excessive use of the word "fuck". Totally unecessary to the story.
| jessieclow3 chapter 1 . 12/3/2010
awesome! have you considered turning it in to a multi chapter story?
| lilianyas chapter 1 . 12/2/2010
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! It's 12:52 and I read it!
| sunlives101aol.com chapter 1 . 12/2/2010
I would first off like to thank you for writing a story I enjoyed reading. It was very cute, and I could tell that you definatly put a lot of effort into writing it. (14,570 words, wow!)
There is one quote that has always stuck out at me:
"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass."
Anton Checkov (One of my favorite playwrites) said this. Your story is telling me, not showing me. I really wish I could have connected to the characters more, I never got past what they were directly seeing. I wanted to see this story for myself, live it. Also, I think some of the discrptions were superfluous. You didn't to describe every single little detail, less is more in most terms of writing.
Over all, I thought you did very well on this, and I am sorry if this review seemed harsh, I did not intend it to. I cant wait to see some of your future work.
| muzaklover chapter 1 . 12/2/2010
That was cute.
| calin-durus chapter 1 . 12/2/2010
Thank you for entering the contest and good luck!
| Elara420 chapter 1 . 12/2/2010
Brilliant! Very enjoyable story! :)I like it, a lot.
| None chapter 1 . 12/2/2010
You really, really overuse "fucking". It's fine once in a while, but the amount of times you use it in this story is ridiculous. It just makes your writing seem juvenile and annoying. Next time, keep in mind that it's not necessary to have a character who throws "fuck" into every sentence.
| TheLionEventuallyEatsTheLamb chapter 1 . 12/2/2010
Liked the story but after a while it was honestly kind of a turn-off to have a "fuck" or "fucking" every two or three words Edward was saying :( it made it a little bit more difficult to read.
Thanks for writing nonetheless! The idea was nice :)
| marie cr chapter 1 . 12/1/2010
Really enjoyed this. Was really really enjoyable and funny. Wud actually make a good story if added too ;-p :)
| too lazy chapter 1 . 12/1/2010
Wayyyy too many "fucks" and "Fucking" in there. It would have been much better if at least half of them weren't there. Other than that, I liked the story line. 8)
| twilightmom1 chapter 1 . 12/1/2010
That was awesome! Edward had a dumb reason to hate Bella, but I'm glad they got to know each other and that he felt differently about her.
That lemon was HOT!
| haleyscott305 chapter 1 . 12/1/2010
| HamsterBeans chapter 1 . 12/1/2010
This story was really great. Not dramatic or angsty :)
Slight over-use of "fuck" or "fucking" (every other fucking word!), but apart from that, it was great.