|Reviews for While She Waits|
| lazyguy90 chapter 1 . 11/3/2011
Great work on this.
| dennisud chapter 1 . 10/2/2011
Angst filled drama! Good to see though I felt unfinished inside.
| Readerjkr chapter 1 . 9/12/2011
Though this story is superb, it is one of very few one-shots that I'd love to see some more of. Beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.
| 5ive chapter 1 . 8/20/2011
brb crying... okay,I'm back, this was beautifully written. Well done!
| currents chapter 1 . 6/2/2011
It would be so like harry, to protect the one he loves by leaving her behind, like he did in canon with Ginny.
But somehow, I like this better.
Hermione's emotions were so, so perfectly hermione.
| Emerald Zen chapter 1 . 4/16/2011
Fantastic...as I stated on ...added to my favs...
| RoseScor90 chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
This was so very touching and deep and well written. So, congrats on writing your rival ship wonderfully! As for the scores:
Believability : Though the story was AU, you managed to keep the characters canon and the plot original a 5 for that
Readability – No major errors so a 5 for that too
Enjoyability – Though it was an angsty fic and had a tragic ending, you have depicted their love very well. So a 4 for that!
Shipability – You were quite true to the conflicts and problems that arise in the pairing so a 4 for that too!
Total – 18/20
All the best!
| ladylaughalot chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
I love it!
| SamSnead chapter 1 . 1/5/2011
Beautiful work. If only this were truly canon...3
| MewmewInuSailorHeart chapter 1 . 12/30/2010
But I love it any way.
| Katamabob chapter 1 . 12/26/2010
Wow. I always really hated this ship, but I actually enjoyed this! It was very well written, sweet and awkward and sad. This was the first ever Harry/Hermione story I truly liked. Well done you! Quite th achievement!
| cardsgal89 chapter 1 . 12/25/2010
So beautifully written. Its been a while since i've had that tingling feeling in my veins and on the tips of my fingers after reading a beautiful piece of harry/hermione fanfic. Thank you. What a great christmas present for me this was.
| themarchgirl chapter 1 . 12/18/2010
this is amazing. I love how you've written this.
| funsiized chapter 1 . 12/7/2010
Absolutely loved it write more!
| controlled climb chapter 1 . 12/6/2010
Wow. Definitely a bit longer than I anticipated, haha. However, brilliant job with entering this competition (I know how daunting it can be!).
Harry/Hermione is one of my preferred pairings and I found this a pleasure to read. The relationship between the Trio worked extremely well for me and I loved the way you described the atmosphere and the way you wrote their conversations.
I'm going to be a bit odd here and actually start with the readability block. I found that at the start was a bit too stilted and detached from the rest of the piece, but it wasn't actually that noticeable.
I only noticed a few spelling mistakes. Notably "Voldermort" which ought to be "Voldemort". The rest wasn't actually intrusive at all, so I'll give you a 4 for that.
Believability... a bit harder, this block is. Hermione's character was wonderful. I loved reading about her. Ron seemed a little off, but Harry seemed alright. As for the actual story I was a bit confused at the start before coming to the sudden realization that your story was, in fact, AU to a certain point.
To be honest, Kreacher being in the story completely threw me off. I found that because he was only there for a moment and then completely forgotten about, you could have left him out altogether.
The twist at the end... I did like that. It did explain a lot of the awkwardness at the start. However, the bringing up of the subject seemed a bit sudden to me. Whether this was intended or not, I don't know, but it felt odd to me.
I suppose that'll have to be a 3.5 for believability.
I really wish that you had expanded on what had happened at the start (well, before the start). I found that the kiss that had happened seemed to be the "dark cloud looming ahead" over the whole thing. I do love this story, really. But I do believe the idea was that the couple was to end up together.
Because of that, I'll give you a 3 for shipability. (:
I enjoyed this. I really did. I found it fantastic, as I'm sure you can tell from my previous comments. Overall, I thought this was written extremely well and that you definitely achieved what you aimed for. There was of course, the few things that I mentioned as well. So about a 4 for my rating of enjoyment.
Well done! I believe that gives you a 14.5 overall.