Reviews for Social Call
Illheart chapter 1 . 1/26
As a french, I have to correct some things in you're text.
First, we don't say: "une visite sociale"... This dosen't make any sense, but you can replace it with: "une visite de courtoisie". This is the same idea, and it would means something!
Second, you forgot a word: Je TE connais toi"... Yeah I know, french is complicated. I always say this to myself every morning.
After there is this line: "Il n'est pas l'un! Je suis l'un"... Like "visite sociale" this doesn't mean anything. You could say: "Il n'est pas celui qu'il te faut! Je suis celui qu'il te faut!"
And for the end: "Tu ne peux pas être sérieusement"... Same: "Tu ne peux pas être sérieux".

I hope this can help you! And otherwise, it was a cute story!
Beizanten chapter 1 . 2/9/2012
god, this is really amasing, cute and sweet!