Reviews for The Price of Unity
Zues Killer Productions chapter 20 . 4/11
Well...I think the Empire has just fucked up.

Big time.
Slayer 10321 chapter 7 . 10/9/2014
CHRIST! YOU ADDED DEAD SPACE YOU CRAZY BASTARD!? SWEET LORD! I applaud your insanity and am looking forward to your story eventually updating!
DamionKenley117 chapter 7 . 6/29/2014
... What the hell. Some of those incident centers goals are terrifying. What the hell are they expecting? What are they guarding against? What is the aberration?
Guest chapter 4 . 5/6/2014
Strangely this is dull...

I feel like I'm reading this because I have to and not because of interest and curiosity like I wished it should have been...

Oh well.

How boring.
WildCard-Yes Man chapter 1 . 5/4/2014
Star wars civilizations are their 2. They are absolutely no where close to forunner levels of tech.
Guest chapter 7 . 4/19/2014
Is it just me or is this story getting a bit scp
Lay Down Hunter chapter 20 . 4/15/2014
It's been a long 1 to 2 weeks, bah ha ha ha.
Samuel chapter 19 . 2/11/2014
Hey well I hate to say this but your logic for this story doesn't fit it's good but if you actually research the unscs only official new ship you will realize that they had better shielding than the covenant before the Great War ended and just look at infinity it can ram a covenant ship with shields the only ship I know who did that was the Iroquois in halo fall of reach and even then the ship was practically dead after also the unsc could make a nova bomb which could destroy a planet in a month whilst it took the empire 20 years to make a super weapon with the same if you whatch Star Wars the clone wars and the original trilogy you will realize that Star Wars ships in comics are said to have shielding but after whatching them I've decided that that's either a lie or the shields are shit
Samuel chapter 7 . 1/30/2014
I love the centers although I would like to know the weapon specs in future chapters
EffervescentNova chapter 2 . 1/26/2014
I couldn't even finish this chapter it was so daft. Sangheili Spartans? Nonsense.

Halsey was not the origin of the Spartans, she was merely the coordinator of the Spartan 2s. The 2 should've been the first clue. The augmentations required can only be used on Humans, by definition. Even then the pool of candidates was so small due to the specific requirements of the program, though oddly in the books there are females in the program even though their morphology and genetic code is vastly different, (having a completely separate chromosome), the idea that you could do the same thing with Sangheili is ridiculous. Second, Spartans were built to be both indomitable and incorruptably loyal. Sangheili are loyal to, you guessed it, Sangheilios, not Earth, not the UEG, not UNSC or ONI, ONI would never sanction such a project, indeed they would actively and ruthlessly oppose it. (They were also to old to be chosen in this way and belong to the same creche which runs against the idea of selection).

I can't read anymore of this, I can tell it's going to be a very uneven and almost random story. In the first two chapters you've just randomly altered the Halo universe and Humanities motivations without plausable explaination. The same goes for the Sangheili who aren't very Sangheili like in their speech or behavior.
EffervescentNova chapter 1 . 1/26/2014
Yes there were a few errors in grammar, but were relatively few in this chapter.

I don't agree that Star Wars are anything approaching tier 1 technology. SW shields for example work only against directed energy weapons, they have no effect against asteroids. Their FTL is limited to specific routes which must be well charted or they face considerable risk. There are in fact many ways that SW tech is lower than that of the Covenant who are solidly tier 2.

The whole conversation between Lecter (as in Hannibal? Lol) and Halsey was supposed to be shady and a little menacing, but came off as just vague and confusing. So many codewords without reference or explaination, 'pacification' operations for the Federation, super advanced projects that no one is supposed to know about but many thousands would have to know of for them to operate. Humans in the Sangheili 'Elite' training program, even though Elite is the Human description of Sangheili. The fact that 30 years is not enough to forgive a genocidal campaign. There were lots of little details that were off centre, it would have been more obvious had you not made Halsey and Lecter hopelessly vague and cryptic.

Spartans defeated and killed by lightsabers, I don't think so. Not even if you intend to involve the overpowered Jedi and Sith from the Clone Wars animated show, though I hope you don't.

The time frame for Human advances in technology give no heed to R&D, teaching of skills, production design, construction of construction facilities, prototypes, testing etc... It's not feesible for a tier 3 civilization to mimic the technology of a tier 1 without considerable effort and growth. So mimicking Forerunner technology is out of the question. The UNSC had been verging on proto tier 2 when they made contact with the Covenant, and by wars end had spent decades reverse engineering Covenant tech.
pKmAN chapter 20 . 12/30/2013
A little confusing but what I understood was very interesting. Please update soon.
Qaint chapter 14 . 12/14/2013
It says here in the analysis of the technological advantage - A hundred thousand men and women for the UNSC force and a total of 25.000 Capital ships and otherwise. Along with 100 million drones.
That's 4 humans per capital ship. That can't be accurate.
Qaint chapter 9 . 12/10/2013
It is a truly frightening universe you've created. This is both good and bad.
It is good because it makes for good a good space opera, with the build-up quite impressive, even if I'm not much of a fan of the usual "man scavenges tech, gains all/some of the cool stuff the aliens/forerunners had". Though it is not very jarring for me. It also adds to the drama for the second reason which is slightly bad/confusing.
All I can say is that somewhere along the way, I've decided that the real antagonists of the story is ONI. They have their fingers in all the pies. A UNSC marine cannot drink tap-water without the ONI knowing about it. Even if they are out to save humanity, they clearly fit the "Lawful Evil" stereotype. ONI's nature reminds me a lot of the AI rebellion event they're doing a lot to prevent. Cold, ruthless and like a machine. It runs well together with their obsession of 'Clean-tech', that runs by itself and maintains itself over long time horizons like the Necro ships run by AI's without the human element.
Especially the New Babel thing did it for me. The UEG's population has become precious cattle and it bothers me, so I hope it changes down the line.

But in the meantime I am now confused as to on who's side I am really on because the UNSC is now basically ONI in all the ways that matter and I won't root for them for aforementioned reasons. Obviously, the Galactic Empire is out of the question. The characters from the Spartan Program is also a tightly run ONI scheme. The Elites are the only interesting characters there - as the human spartans are just clones, and for character purposes, they seem to reflect ONI's qualities, which makes them seem inhuman to me. Though to be fair, they haven't been properly introduced yet.
While the Insurrectionists are generally bad, Leslie seemed okay-ish. But there's gray morality all around because of all the GRIMDARK that's already there.

My biggest criticism so far is the characters. They all act consistently, logically and all that, but they're all mostly just cookie-cutter prodigies of the same bland. I can't really appreciate them.
The more I think about it, the more I find that Ghell is the only character I can somewhat understand and relate to, even if he's a savvy 8-year old arguing weapons with a veteran. Ironically, I think it is because I find that he's the most human of all the characters that matter, purely because he's acting on instincts and out of pride rather than anything convoluted.
The whole thing with Hellian is obvious from the first time she's mentioned, so unless there's a twist somewhere, it feels forced and/or awkward, however I think nothing less of the story for that, because I find it so damnable hard myself to surprise any moderately savvy reader with the romance aspects.

Anyways, overall this is one of the good things about fanfics. They have some unconventional approaches to storytelling that keep surprising me. I am enjoying this story a lot so far. Obviously, this bloated review is the result of over-analyzation/rambling kept for your amusement. I understand and appreciate that going all out with the fandom is what FF is for.

Actual review:
Grammar is great. I only stumbled upon a few errors. Good chapter.
OmegaInfinita chapter 20 . 11/11/2013
Nice.
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