|Reviews for Seasons Of Change|
| Shinome Akira chapter 8 . 6/22/2014
| Lady Frost08 chapter 8 . 5/30/2014
Waahhh update now! Love your story :)))
| AmericanNidiot chapter 2 . 1/17/2014
Can I just say, that you constantly calling her Ling-chan in everything is a bit annoying to read? When someone isn't speaking to her, you should drop the honorific of "-chan" from her name. Also, I think that you have some of their names backwards if you are introducing them "Last name before first name". So, if you ever get some free time, maybe you can go back and fix it? Along with making their speech a bit less proper. They are 12-14 year olds, after all. Also, they only use "sayonara" if you won't be seeing the person you are talking to for a very, very, very long time. They prefer to use "ja/Ja ne" if it is a short farewell...
| LeiAyumi chapter 8 . 12/19/2013
| invisible-gurl chapter 8 . 9/15/2013
hahahahahaha I almost feel sorry for Atobe... Almost XD great job and plz update soon
| Lady Syndra chapter 8 . 9/15/2013
Aw poor Atobe! All his attempts are thwarted.
Please update soon!
Please update soon!
| marshmellowluver chapter 7 . 8/25/2013
| invisible-gurl chapter 7 . 8/4/2013
hahahahaha omg Akaya is so cute! hahaha I'd say poor Atobe but he's kinda brought it onto himself with his arrogance and rudeness XD great job and plz update soon
| k-popluver4eva chapter 7 . 6/20/2013
Its been so long! TT
But i'm glad you updated! Can't wait for the next chapter!
I luv long chapters! 3
| Lady Syndra chapter 6 . 8/9/2012
Oooo the whole team is getting so protective! i think that made Atobe even more determined lol.
Please update soon. I can't wait to see what happens next
| ScherzoVivace chapter 6 . 8/9/2012
Hello, here goes my constructive criticism:
1. I am usually very lenient with Mary-Sues. So what if a character's good at about two things? That doesn't necessarily mean they're mary sues! But, for Ling, her outstanding looks, intellect, knowing multiple languages, and knowing at least someone from almost every school in the district is crossing that border I usually set for and OC character.
I'm totally fine with Mary-Sues as long as they're interesting. In fact, I have a mary-sue story myself, and I totally shouted out "OVER THE TOP MARY SUE"
But here's another problem for Ling: her personality. Yeah, she's nice. But sometimes I see too many other personalities inside her, it's getting distracting. "Not falling for" Oshitari or Atobe and being all sassy in front of them isn't a very convincing thing. Tidy up her personality so that the readers will have a full grasp of who she really is. I think you should probably acknowledge that if in case you're tired of having this pointed out.
2. When you insert Japanese phrases, some usages are incorrect. When you say "Thank you" to your elders or someone of higher status (ie senpai, someone older than you), you put "-gozaimasu" after arigatou, or else you're considered a snobby little brat. There's also "I'm sorry" to elders, which translates to "gomen-NASAI." But isn't that too long to write? Just say thank you, why not stick to the language that we're familiar with?
And stick to only one name-calling such as -kun or -chan. I noticed in the first chapter Ling called Takashi aniki; that's not used for people not directly related to you, you would instead use Onii-san or nii-chan, or some variation of that. Don't insert too many Japanese words (it gets irritating after a while).
3. Plot flow; some scenes are completely unnecessary to any aspect of the story.
4. And number 3 leads to the holistic language used by the characters. I like formal writing style, and I like your sentence structures. You're not "too" formal, but the characters sound awkward because you don't distinguish between dialogues and narratives.
5. If you want your story to be coherent, then please, exclude needless details that the readers are totally new to. Overall, your story's wordy and a bit too descriptive, the focus is totally out of where it should be.
6. The relationships between canon characters are unclear. Why did you put in that one floral shop scene with Fuji? Why is it that the whole team is suddenly so protective of her when they haven't had that many interactions? Why is it that Atobe's being all "flirt-mode-activate" out of the blue? I mean she told him off, but it's not likely that a person's mind will change from neutral to overly positive. But it's up for you to decide.
7. Organization. This is a nit-picky, personal thing, but please do separate speeches of two characters, not put them in the same paragraph.
Sorry for this ridiculously long review, but I hope it helped. I'll stop by time to time too, so I hope you make this story something really big. Then, good luck!
| tennisgirl16 chapter 1 . 8/9/2012
wheres ryoma in all this huh?
| winterflowr chapter 5 . 9/23/2011
Akaya is so cute! I love it when we get to see his happy side!
WOoooo Yukimura was teasing Sanada about her _
| somebody chapter 1 . 9/11/2011
I'm sorry for what I'm about to say but I think she is a bit of a mary sue and your writing is a bit too formal for my taste ...
| SleepyPuppy chapter 4 . 3/25/2011
kawaii thanks for upl look foward to the ch