|Reviews for Greatest American Hero Reprise|
| TigreMalabarista chapter 1 . 12/20/2010
Sorry, it's taken a time to get reviews done, but wanted to say it's nice to see a newcomer to the "GAH" fanfic world. This holds true given that we've since lost two important members of it - SJC and Culp.
I wanted to say that overall this story is good so far. One of the best things you've done is carefully balance the issue regarding Bill and had his death quietly played, but yet work for the story. As someone who has written a Bill farewell story, this is not easy to do and yet you did well here.
You also had a good idea as to what happened to Bill after Ralph was outed in the suit - even if it's ignoring where Holly supposedly went as Bill was her teammate in the failed "GAHeroine" pilot. Personally, I don't mind this - I don't like Holly and the full script of that pilot was worse (and does fit your take on this situation), but there are others who may wonder what happened to her in order to let this story progress as it did.
Also, the characterizations between families and their parents fits well - Eric has that balance of dutiful son, but with a mean streak. Sarah is adequately bitter about Bill - I see her as I've seen Kevin possibly being about Ralph when Alicia got full custody (apparently) in the series.
The plot is also quite good, and it's nice to have the challenge of getting the FBI interested in Eric and what he's doing teamed up with Sarah.
All this said, I do have some quibbles. The main one is the excessive use of curse words in this story. While the more modern day "GAH" stories I've read and written do use the words, they are sprinkled in and used only when necessary. There are fans of "GAH" - both traditional and spinoffs, who get turned off with the excessive use of these words, and especially if the "F-" and "S-" words are used more than once or twice. (There are several stories that use the "S-" word in a traditional situation, but in those cases, Ralph has really had his back against the wall or Bill was in a serious situation. Neither Pam or any female I know of in these stories uses either).
I don't mind the occasional curse words myself, and think in a couple of these arguments between Eric and Sarah, they've been warranted. Still, IMHO you may have better readership of it if they're toned down a little so this can be put in the K-T area.
A second one is minor, and you did it well. The whole how they get the suit is too rehashed and almost like the pilot save who hands over the suit. While I'd like to have seen a different handover myself, this wasn't done bad and had just enough of a twist to get me interested in reading futher.
Overall, this is a very good story for someone who is doing a spinoff/continuing saga of "GAH" story, and I hope you continue with it.