|Reviews for Kindle Sonnets|
| Hyarrowen chapter 2 . 12/3/2012
Bravo! I enjoyed both of these, and got the same sense of unpacking a much bigger piece as I do when reading Shakespeare's sonnets. I'll look forward to reading any more that you might write.
| Commander Dartimien chapter 1 . 1/5/2012
Firstly, allow me to agree with your previous reviewer, "Knight-Quill Yelhsa Nibor", when I say that you have stepped backwards along the road of ages to reawaken a writing style that has long since been lost to the modern poet. This is a very stunning piece.
I, too, noticed that the iambic pentameter is slightly off in the aforementioned verse. "The fickle eye of fate roams glancing to and fro" is possibly a better suggestion, as previously noted, but this is YOUR poem. Please take my review with a grain of salt.
Furthermore, if I may just make a notation in case your previous reviewer returns, I wish everyone reviewed with as much detail, constructive criticism and citation as you. I notice you say you study and teach Shakespeare, which is no easy task, so I commend you for that as well. I have studied his sonnets, but my hat is off to you for teaching as well. Although I aspire to be a writer one day (albeit of science fiction) I do not dream of holding a candle to Shakespeare.
Which brings me back to my review of this lovely sonnet. As previously stated, this is a wonderful piece of work which I can only dream of emulating on some level. I hope you write many more poems for me (and others) to enjoy.
| Knight-Quill Yelhsa Nibor chapter 1 . 12/11/2010
I want to congratulate you on your Sonnet. You have removed yourself from this modern time's slang and style and capture a good bit of an older, and better, style.
I only quibble on a few points, which if you would allow, I question by your invitation to comment.
1) Your iambic pentameter is 98%. "The fickle eye roams, glancing to and fro" seems out of it, however. the FICKle EYE of FATE ROAMS GLANCing TO and FRO, is how I read it. A quick re-work, if you allow, might be something like "the FICKle EYE of FATE does ROAM, glanced TO and FRO" or another variant, perhaps.
2) Poetically, I courteously disagree with your conclusion - that lust ends true love. My style would be to posit that lust may challenge true love, or that lust may light the path to true love if one must struggle to attain true love, but not that lust ends true love. There is a Medieval philosophy that "A new love puts to flight an old one." - . Andreas Capellanus: The Art of Courtly Love, (btw. 1174-1186) This could be in support of your argument, I must admit, at least in period. As well - "A man who is vexed by too much passion usually does not love." This would be your 'Lust' but further Capellanus states "Nothing forbids one woman being loved by two men..." so I would go, personally, with true love is a worthier challenge than satisfying simple lust. Mayhaps, just a simple change of conclusion.
Really, just quibbles. I love the sonnet form and again, commend you for your style. I study and teach Shakespeare - trying to capture his style as much as possible and think your work comes very close to the mark.
And you have inspired me to post some of my sonnets on this forum.
My very best, (all other pen names aside) Robin.