|Reviews for John & Margaret: Coming Home With Me|
| FaithBelieve chapter 21 . 9/2/2014
Thank you Paskina! Never really considered Americanisms/Britianisms and I went right out and bought myself another thick dictionary. I really appreciate reviews that help me improve my writing.
| Paskina chapter 20 . 8/27/2014
Your repeated use of the phrase 'I guess' makes me cringe throughout the whole fic.
It's England, early 19th century... Americanism's were not used. No one ever used 'I guess' unless they were literally playing a guessing game.
If you're going to attempt historical fiction, especially geographically specific fiction, please try really hard not to let modern day language sneak in and spoil things. Americanism's really jar and grate, and turn the whole thing into a parody.
| glasses-chan chapter 4 . 8/11/2014
oooh a turn of events! So glad I found this story. I just finished watching the movie and was very unsatisfied with the ending.
| Marion Griffith chapter 1 . 7/1/2014
I have reviewed your "Coming Home With Me" - John & Margaret, and would like to say that even though I scanned it very briefly, it was so good, that I have just ordered it from Amazon. Thank you for being such a good writer. I know that I am going to enjoy this entire book. Many thanks, Marion Griffith
| TheWomanKB chapter 21 . 3/17/2014
This has to be the best continuation of North and South on this site (and possibly other sites too)! And I see that there is a book that is out there that is suppose to be better! I am so going to get it on my Kindle. Thank you, thank you for giving John and Margaret a wonderful ending to their story. PS I have to comment on those who chew this FF apart because of the grammar errors. What do you expect from a FF? Do you think these writers can afford expensive editors? It takes hours and hours to properly edit a book, especially of this length. This author may not be the best editor but she is very talented and creative. So with that being said, either enjoy the story (or not) and shut up!
| purpleVampire22 chapter 21 . 1/25/2014
That was perfect
| Liili chapter 3 . 12/24/2013
I am a French fan of North and South. I just wanted to review now by your 3rd chapter to tell you, respectfully, what I think of your work.
First of all, there is a great will of finding powerful words and emotional ones to express what is happening in Margaret and John's hearts. Thank you for such devotion to our favourite characters, and I guess it might be the same in the following chapters. Now, allow me to say why I will not keep reading.
It is the sequel of the miniseries, and in my opinion, your characters do not look like Margaret and John in this miniseries. To me, Margaret is much more shy, and discreet. She may have temper indeed, but what I mean is that she remains more difficult to understand in terms of feelings. She is not that demonstrative. At all. And even though she is with John Thornton, to me again, she would not appear so "in love" to the point of exagerating on "her love for him", her dreams about him at night. I just find her too much... expansive, effusive, while Margaret in the miniseries is more reserved and shy. As for both characters, I do not see in them the same atmosphere which is present in the miniseries. I do not expect smoke, bad weather or sadness haha of course even in the end of the miniseries, it is sunny, they are smiling and kissing, and moving. But their mutual nature should not change...
Well that is what I wanted to say. I just do not recognise Margaret and John through your dialogues. I do not imagine them saying those things or acting that way just after the miniseries. It is not the same atmosphere or personnality. They are, to me, less demonstrative in the sense that I do not think it would be that easy, that joyful. The less they say, the more their eyes speak for them. It looks more like them. (like in the other Coming Home with me by Halo0912).
Once again, I respect your work and your great enthusiasm for this writing, I am glad so much people love it, congratulations for the achievement (the book).
I wish you the best,
| Vera Cobb chapter 2 . 10/30/2013
I'd love to read this story, but I'm wondering if you've ever considered using a beta reader? There are a lot of spelling/grammar issues in these first couple of chapters that are unfortunately making it really difficult to get through. It's a shame, because the characters seem to be well drawn and the dialogue is realistic.
Some of your punctuation with dialogue isn't quite right either. I apologise if I sound critical, but I do think this is probably a great story - I just think it would be even greater if you could make it perfect :)
A few of the errors:
"Margaret knew he was handsome but now she saw closely that he was strikingly [striking] as well."
"It had to be when I handed over father's [Father's] Plato to you"
"pulled back a hair's breath [breadth] away"
| Guest chapter 21 . 7/25/2013
I really enjoyed what I've read you stayed true to the character and I could actually see John and Margaret acting this way together. I think you got the mother spot on. The only thing I had problems with was how you made John such and expert about woman cycles. I think that Margaret had the education to know about her cycle and she should have been the one to inform John she was pregnant not John informing her. When you write a period story you've got to do research on the mindset of the people in that time. I think that most men in that time especially a business man like John Thornton would not notice something like his wife cycle. Not only that but it made the character of Margaret seem stupid that she would not realize she may be pregnant because if you remember in the movie John said she was a very accomplish young woman in that time that meant very educated. Other than that I think the story was great hopefully BBC will use your story and give us the pleasure in seeing John and Margaret you coming home with me.
| fnrizka chapter 21 . 7/25/2013
I. AM. SO. IN. LOVE. WITH. YOUR. STORY.
Is there any possibility that you can write another story of North & South? )
| jobie chapter 1 . 7/12/2013
One more thing, I suggest you read this original and then get the book. I liked reading what she added. And boy, did she!
| jobie chapter 1 . 7/12/2013
I read this FF months ago and loved it. Best n&s FF! Then I bought the book. 3 words. BUY THE BOOK! I did not believe this story could be improved. It was! A LOT! I appreciate that the author kept the original up on this site but now, it doesn't compare to her updated version. BBC did not finish the story, but this author did and did it wonderfully.
| Carla Balsinha chapter 21 . 6/10/2013
I didnt Know this show,i only discovered a few days on channel youtube,after that it was a step to fanfiction...I Know very well another one with the same name that maked an huge sucess in here,i remembered to watch when i was a teenager on mondays evenigs on channel 1(more exacly RTP)...
I enjoyed a lot your story,thank you so much for continue where the show stops...my imagination appreciated a lot!
I will put your story on my favourites!
| BethH chapter 1 . 5/8/2013
I was a fan of this FF from the time the author started posting a chapter each week and sought other FF online of N&S. There are many who published their continuation on Amazon and they are horrible and could not compare to this story even in its rough draft form. So when I came back after seeing that the author added and found out she published, I immediately went to Smashwords and bought it. OMG! It is amazing and just as she said, she added unexpected twists and upped the romance (and does it so tastefully). I thought her ending was perfect here and could not get any better, I was so wrong. She added another element that just took my breath away. It involves the death of John's father. I won't spoil it but it really raises the storyline big time. What impressed me is the dialogue. You can hear Richard Armitage and Daniella' s continue their lines like the mini series never stopped. Sure, this FF was the best I have read on this site for period dramas, but her taking this and publishing it made it the BEST N&S CONTINUATION YOU WILL EVER READ. And I read them all. If you think that the book is the same, It is not. I cried, chuckled, sighed, went wide-eyed, laughed out loud, got heated and sighed again. I have to go to Amazon and order me a printed copy. That good. PS She had a FF for Lost in Austen but she took it off that was really good. I am hoping she publishes it too.
| Imladris chapter 21 . 4/23/2013
Wonderful story. Sadly, I've read the book so there are many, many wrongs in it. I do understand that it picked up from the movie, though. I am glad to have a story to think about after they get on that train. I do wish Elisabeth Gaskell had taken it further as well.