|Reviews for Empty|
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/5/2014
'Marno, say 'hi !'' Indeed !
| Angel Peach Blossom chapter 1 . 4/23/2012
At first, the idea intrigued me. I was actually wondering if this could occur myself, and was trying to find a way to make it work.
However, there are some canon inconsistencies here. Now, had this been slightly AU or something, I could overlook them. But since you said it takes place after the original Baten Kaitos, I need to bring it up.
First of all, Marno as you know isn't a true Guardian Spirit and has been with Sagi since he was a baby. Which always irked me that Sagi was experimented on then. But because of this, I find it very unlikely that Marno could just separate with Sagi out of nowhere.
That and if he was looking for Sagi, I doubt he would go by Marno. He hasn't called himself that since he was Sagi, and it is more likely he would go by the part of the name the player chooses.
Next is an inconstancy of where the spirits meet. Normally, when they are about ready to bond, they do so at the Shrine of Spirits. This is shown by Kalas in the original and Baelheit in Origins. Of course, Xelha showed it doesn't have to be there, but it's something to think about.
Finally, looking for Sagi is pretty pointless. First of all, it's kinda amazing that Marno didn't die with Sagi, but I'm going to ignore that by now. I know some would disagree with me, but to me there are some slight hints that Sagi and Milly are Melodia's parents. Even the original has a slight hint with Melodia's hair changing color to resemble Sagi's when freed from Malpercio. And if you believe this as well, then this means they will never find Sagi, unless there is someway to reach the afterlife.
I haven't read the rest of your chapters, so anything else I am worried about I won't mention. See, I don't blame you for taking a route different than others. In fact, I applaud that. It can be really hard to find a good work, but also one with an original thought. However, at the same time, you need to make sure that things make sense as well.
For the record, I do think this idea is interesting, and I kinda like it. The inconsistency of it of though is what bugs me.
Now on the good side, if I ignore the stuff that bug me, I see a lot of promise! Your detail is unlike what I am used to seeing, but that is a good thing!
Kalas was in character too, which is also a good thing! And as for Marno, since his personality is not fleshed out anyway, I thought it was fine and worked well!
Spelling and grammar also looked nice! I did notice one mistake at the end, but nothing to major, so no worries there.
From what I can see, you are very good! And that is something I don't see from newer authors. Just make sure things make sense next time! I love the idea, it just needs a bit more polish.
| Zoeten chapter 4 . 5/25/2011
The nice thing I like about this story is that most other fanfics have Kalas liveing happey ever after with Xelha where you have it more real world baes
and I agree with the person who review this chapter frist.
I wonder how much Marno and Kalas will know about each others adventures.
I hope that this fic gets more review then Time Twisting since this is a rare post game fic that is good
hope to see this up dated
| Skyraptor66 chapter 4 . 5/16/2011
I don't know about the other reviewers, but I find this fascinating and pretty well-written. This chapter introduced the problems we were all thinking of and made them part of the plot, which is exactly what I was hoping you would do with them, and you did so wonderfully. Most of the characters are pretty IC and highly sympathetic-the only possible exception being Xelha, who comes off as a little too haughty sometimes (which is far better than a perpetually cheerful Xelha, but I'm such a damn stickler about her character). In the game, Xelha tries to distance herself from her title as much as possible, insisting that her friends simply call her by her name and generally showing reluctance toward being addressed by any royal title. (The game implies that this is because her social status is so intertwined with her destiny, which she like Kalas resents to an extent.) Other than that, I love how you portray Kalas and his worries about being left alone again, as well as acknowledge the fact that his record of nearly dooming the world isn't quite washed away by his return to the good guys. Likewise, you handle Marno's grief and confusion very well; the whole thing feels legitimately tragic. No guarantees, I know, but I'm really looking forward to the next chapter-and not just because the BK section is currently as barren as the Sahara.
| Zoeten chapter 3 . 4/25/2011
It has been a long time since you updated this
I know you said that you be poking the gray areas of canon, but can you tell how trail of souls is their? I thought that since they return to the earth the whole trail of souls and dimensions overlap stuff was all left in the sky.
why do you not like that theory?
I wanted to say this last chapter but naver got around it so I say it now. since the ice country nobles are not happy that Xelha and Kalas are lovers will we be seeing fights with hit man?
It would be rude to say I hope see it updated soon but I hope it will be updated sooner then this time but I can wait. see you next time
| Windsbane chapter 2 . 3/14/2011
This is pretty interesting. The idea that Marno somehow ends separated from Sagi and uses Kalas as a transportation service to find him is kind of amusing. I think you'll have to explain the Malpercio power bit though and if it will effect Kalas at all though.
| Skyraptor66 chapter 2 . 1/14/2011
Though I was a bit skeptical about the plot/crossovers here, I actually really like this, mostly due to the brisk, informal prose from Kalas's POV and your charming portrayals of the characters. Story-wise, there are some holes that you have plenty of time to fill later, like how Marno can even exist without Sagi, as he was infused with the body part of Malpercio from which Marno's spirit is (questionably) inseperable. Again, the sheer fun of the writing and characters currently makes up for this, and we're only on the second chapter anyway. I look forward to more.
| DigiKiuru chapter 1 . 12/20/2010
I think you should definitely continue this. After all, this story has an intresting setting. I can't wait to see more of what you've got for this.
| Zoeten chapter 1 . 12/8/2010
at what point in the game is this or is this at the end?
The fellowing Qs do not (and I don't want) have to be A. Why I am asking and the frst plaeas is becoues I like this story and I would like you to continue it. But gressing form your notes you may not of put too mush thought in to this, so here I go.
why is Marno looking for Sagi? should he been finded in the afrerlife?
if this take after the game why is Kalas not with Xelha? (not in a romantic way but it is good ether way)
Is this the same Marno that Kalas and Co fight or are you useing mini clone way (this one being or use to being a discarded part of Malpercio)?
that all so far, I hope you continue this story sry for any misspellings