Reviews for Critical A Jelena Story
Guest chapter 1 . 9/2/2012
cutie pie is a dsummy i guess she didn't know that joe and selena used to date! in 2010 and not 2011 shes just stupid!
Guest chapter 1 . 9/2/2012
cutey pie shut it up ok?... 1st off justin and selena are dating now but she updated in 2010 when dey weren't dating joe jonas and selena were dating now you feel real dumb huh? if u had read the story which u didn't you'd understand! so b4 u say think about if you feel dumb or smart but now u feel dumb! think b4 u say! bitch!
cutey pie chapter 1 . 9/2/2012
if this is a jelena story why on earth does it hav demi and all those other characters? THATS DUMB LIKE U!
jb loves me chapter 1 . 9/1/2012
i read this a few days ago... good story but very long...This could be 5 chapters out ofjust ne so...UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! love ya stories...but if u doUPDATE make it shorter
Guest chapter 1 . 8/30/2012
geat but long it took 45 minutes
Guest chapter 1 . 8/29/2012
mama mia shut ur ugly bitch ass up! you hoor and slut do yo day job and go get ur apron ok boo boo kitty u bitch ass nigga ho u aint nobody have u wrote a story
Mama mia:no but dat dont mean shit
Me:u a peice of shit and i aint eating yo ass
Me:so heres what u can d kiss my ass
Me:pkes ass out
Mama mia:*kissing it like enjoying*
Mama Mia:I knwim a slut and im gay
Me:i know u are
Mama Mia:im proud
Guest chapter 1 . 8/29/2012
LONG MUCH im not tryn judge but i looked and couldn'tread this if i did it would take probaly 45 minutes so...ehhhh no judging ok im not that mean ok thnx and heres some advice next chapter mke it at least 203 letters its mre reasonable for 1 chapter or maybe 502 chapters
Guest chapter 1 . 8/29/2012
*AMN thats longer than a whole chapte book *giggles* longer than 7 chapters dang thats the longest i ever read on fanfiction but good it took me 45 minutes to finish sooooooooo keep up the good work
Ehhh chapter 1 . 1/4/2012
I don't want to sound like I'm judging a book by it's cover, but I looked at this and really couldn't read it. It looked like a play, and that sort of annoys me. That and the stars. Instead of:

"She sarcastically said uh-oh" you said "*sarcastically* uh-oh"

That doesn't work for me. Just sayin.
Mama Mia o-o chapter 1 . 12/24/2011
Yes, I am one of the VERY VERY few tht shall probably read this ENTIRE THING!

Really, one; the way you're writing isn't the permitted way on this website; you need to write in actual story mode.

Two: THIS IS 15k! WTF! Ever heard of chapters, my rudimentary dear? Honestly, what is up with that? Just fore ONE chapter! A lot of people will just assume that this story is a complete joke just after looking at the number of words!

Three: now, now, what do we have here? Our biggest issue? Why yes. Listen, Jelena stories and all that are for YouTube! Not for places that books, films, tv shows, and what have you, have earned the right to be, whereas this kind of thing hasn't, thus making it ultimately, useless!

I would also Pre-check it for mistakes that you missed.

Oh, what is that I hear? Is that a troubled 'author' saying, "But you can't blame for not noticing some parts, there was sooo much to read!"

Well, sweetheart, that should have been your first as to this things perposterous length!

Happy... "writing", or whatever you feel good to call this.

'Yes, I am a bitch, and this bitch's bite is 10x more hurtful than her bark ;D'

Mikayla xx