Reviews for Courting the Keeper
QueenofSiam101 chapter 9 . 11/20/2011
love the story and i dont know why someone would say that hes a pedophile because shes over 20, i say ignore them ]
deletedsjd145679 chapter 9 . 8/5/2011
First and foremost, my esteemed, confused colleague didn't mean to spell 'justified' incorrectly on her last review. Yes, as you may have deduced, the JustifiedFlamer is a team effort; a terrible twosome, a dastardly duo, a catastrophic coupling. All alliteration put aside, we're absolutely chuffed that our justified flaming was appreciated and supplied you with plentiful amounts of inspiration.

Now, my friend, (the other half of this review) has forbidden me to apologize excessively for the harsh words of the last review, but I refuse to say emasculating things to you. That's her area of expertise, and, needless to say, she's the more demanding half of our relationship. Nevertheless, I've got enough backbone to defy her and praise you. Unfortunately, I really can't say anything positive about this particular story. (Teague physically has no tear ducts, so it's virtually impossible for him to cry.) But your miscellanious stories, you know, the ones that do not contain any members of your treasure trove of Mary-Sues, have been known to, on occasion, make me smile.

Ouch! That previous sentence was rewarded by a prompt slap to the arm, but I'll vouch for my statement. The following notes are my counterpart's doing, although I find myself wholeheartedly agreeing with most of her thought-over accusations. I'm sorry for the varying degrees of bluntness that my friend fluently exhibits, with no qualms whatsoever for anyone's feelings.

What is Wrong with 'Courting the Keeper':

(That is, besides its admittedly disconcerting title.)

-She has a drag queen friend, dubbed Crystal. Holy cross-dresser! I don't believe that drag queens existed back in the 1700s, which is so unlike our culture of today, where children have been taught to accept and cherish MTV and its varying levels of impropriety.

-Table shopping. They went...table shopping. The infamous pirate lord went...table shopping. Forgive me if my assumptions are falsely based, but I think that a carpenter's workshop would be more appropriate for the time period. If I may be so bold as to inquire, where, exactly, did this notorious murderer and his incredibly good-looking personal Mary-Sue go home-decor shopping? Target? Crate & Barrel? Pottery Barn Teen? Puh-lease. (Another thought: Teague would never go table shopping. He would be wont to shoot you in the head for even suggesting that he come along.)

-Umm, age difference. If I were Jack, I would be seriously concerned. It seems as though Teague is having a late mid-life crisis. What's next, a Harley?

-I'm starting to agree with the predictably gossipy, nasty townspeople on the fact that it's completely inappropriate for a 20-year-old to be shacked up with a craggly old man.

-The ghostly, "Girl, you are a strong and independent woman!" talk was more than likely an attempt at clearing the plot line to deem a youthful/elderly relationship acceptable. (Oh, and Serenity didn't question the fact that her grandfatherly boyfriend's deceased wife was giving her a pep talk. She says, "You're Teague's wife!" Then accepts it as fact.)

-Aw, that's adorable! Everyone has matchy-matchy red and gold, stereotypical pirate costumes, fresh from your local Party America at Halloween time. Too cute.

-Were Teague to take time from his no doubt busy schedule to write a song, it seems unlikely that such a time-consuming undertaking would be christened with his maid's name. He would have named it something subtle, hinting at the gruesome demise of his ward, Serenity. Once he had completed the task at hand, he would carry out the macrabe act that his newly-penned song described. He'd be the Eminem of his day.

-"Maybe it was just her imagination, but she thought she saw a tear on Teague's face." Teague doesn't cry. Ever. (Well, if he must, they should be manly, sorrowful, scarce tears for his dead son.)

-Spontaneous arranged marriages! Yeah! "I've been promised to marry you." Ponders for a moment. "Okay." And she accepts it as fact once again.

-Jack is a savvy man. "Savvy savvy savvy SAVVY I stole this map savvy saaaaavvvvvy." That's very pirate-y of you. Savvy?

-Whoa, Teague's jumping out windows. Shut the front door. (Just a thought: He should really be able to jump out windows if he's about sixty. Maybe he's just incredibly limber and stealthy for his age. Yeah, that's got to be it.) And climbing trees? Hmm, I think this can be chalked up to excellent, nonexistent pirate doctors.

-The last scene was highly reminiscent of one of the great theatrical masterpieces of our time: High School Musical. I was waiting in anticipation for Teague and his Gabriella to burst into song and dance right there in her room. And thus, I lost all respect for Teague the moment he kissed that young girl with questionable sexual tastes in older men. And that was simply the icing on the cake.

With all due respect,

JustifiedFlamer.
PhantomDragon12 chapter 9 . 8/5/2011
As much as I hate to admit it, that review had me cracking up.

But seriously, I like this story and would hate not to see anymoer updates!

Also, back in the 1700s, it wasn't uncommon for there to be that big of an age difference. It's only been in recent times that the 4-year difference thing has really come into effect.
Alasai Ashbringer chapter 9 . 8/5/2011
Ummmmmmmmm Actually I was REALLY waiting for this to have the next chappy. I enjoyed this Fanfiction and Personally I think love has no bounds...I mean people if you don't like it then dont read it! This Story is GREAT! Personally I love Seeing Teague/OC type things since you don't see Teague very often. And your reasoning is quite secure. I LOVE Your stories btw *Wink* *Wink* I think you posting a new chappy would make some people happy lol but seriously I would LOVE a sequal ;3
JustifedFlamer chapter 8 . 8/4/2011
AH! My goodness, you had me literally swatting at my tongue in a desperate attempt to clear the disgusting feeling from my mouth, all the while yelling, "BLEUGH! BLAGH!" How could you DO such a thing as turn dear Teague into a creepy pedophile? I'm emitting guttural utterances just thinking about it. Bleugh.
Legal Humor chapter 4 . 12/31/2010
Next chap and happy new years to you too. :)
Kanniqua chapter 3 . 12/27/2010
this chappie was kimd short, but sweet none the less. i like the kinda cute, odd and different plot. keep the updates comming ;-P
Legal Humor 2 lazy 2 log in chapter 3 . 12/23/2010
I really like it. Please keep updating.

Legal Humor

(:
lottielovebuzz chapter 3 . 12/22/2010
I actually love this story! No one seems to write any stories with Teague in it! Can't wait to read more, please update soon :D
romana45 chapter 2 . 12/14/2010
Please update cant this is a great story and i cant wait for chapter 3 :D