Reviews for Krait Book 01 Slytherin's Heiress
Alex chapter 32 . 3/27
While I usually accept your adjustments to spells, you've crossed a line. The patronus charm's incantation is expecto patronum not expecto patronus and the canon is actually more correct than your variation as it translates as 'I expect a patron' in which patron should be accusative, not nominative. Though the words should probably switch places to be completely correct
Alex chapter 29 . 3/27
I noticed your adjustment to the spell beyond the change in incantation. You seem to have forgone the snapping rigid that usually accompanies the spell, I assume because the different version has slightly different effects
Alex chapter 26 . 3/26
I do believe I actually found a typo, something sufficiently rare in this fic that I'll point it out. ""He's my Godfather….Sirius Black. And before you create, he was framed for murder by Peter Pettigrew himself who's still alive and serving Fishface." I don't think you meant 'create' in this quote, unless the internet and I are missing a definition. I want to complement your writing, it's really well done
Alex chapter 1 . 3/25
I often don't review first chapters, because one can rarely tell how advanced an author's writing style will be from the first chapter, however this fic is already very promising. You use elevated vocabulary and I have yet to see a grammar error. My English teacher (I'm an American, by the way) has said that British are much more precise, correct, and advanced than Americans usually are when it comes to using the English language. I'm quite excited for the vocabulary level, as I've already had to look up three words. It has been a while since I was so challenged:)
Debate4life chapter 35 . 3/24
Quite enjoyed book one. Well done! Bit squids with the age difference, but otherwise you did a good job of making them well suited to each other.
Diddleymaz chapter 35 . 1/19
Very good
ruth hammond chapter 3 . 1/5
good chapter...but the last few lines take the prize! Loved them!
dorothee chapter 17 . 8/15/2016
Hiya, thanks for the enjoyment of reading this.

There's one more I instead of Krait, when Sev introduces her to the boys on the estate, sorry can't copy and paste...

I hope your other writing pays you well, you deserve it, I know fanfic is free :-)
TimeyWimeyBadWolf chapter 35 . 6/7/2015
Wow! I'm actually writing a story about Voldy Moldy's daughter too, but it's got a different take on it. It was good to see how someone else went with it though. This was an incredible peice of work- nice job.
dianaanne chapter 18 . 6/2/2015
Last chapter had inappropriate I use still. Neighbors of I mentioned when first went to Spinners End ... Sirius realization and Severus' empathy for Harry was well done.
dianaanne chapter 1 . 6/1/2015
I really can't blame Krait for her intended prayers. But I do know some very nice nuns. One is a good friend of my mom's and a hospital chaplain.
dianaanne chapter 34 . 12/31/2014
Had fun rereading!
dianaanne chapter 27 . 12/30/2014
Love David.
dianaanne chapter 17 . 12/30/2014
There were a couple random p.s. still. Last chapter or this one.
trichorse chapter 17 . 9/25/2014
It's doing the 'I' thing still...once at "pupils of" and came out "pupils of I" and once in the neighbor hood boy "interpreted I's name to one he recognized". Some times things don't want to sort out.
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