|Reviews for When darkness falls|
| RUBYJEMS chapter 1 . 1/4
please update this ASAP OR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND FORCE YOU TO CONTINUE!
| Alexis-and-Zuly chapter 1 . 6/22/2011
| Mastress Tessa chapter 1 . 4/29/2011
Lemme guess, this person puts Ichigo in the same 'cell' as Kish. Well, I hope so :D! But now I have to get up EARLY tommorow, so now it is time for bed, so...bye!
| xxxIloveKISSHUxxx chapter 1 . 12/16/2010
The truth seems that history has a good course, after all that to make new enemies is not easy, and want to know when the story takes place (before or after the final battle)
| sakuuya chapter 1 . 12/11/2010
Your summary sounded interesting, but I knew coming in that I was going to have to tell you that 400 words is too short for a chapter. WELL. Imagine how pleased I was when I saw that you wasted like 150 of those words with script A/Ns.
So yeah. Did you lurk on the site before you posted this story? 400 words per chapter is too few to get anything done in a long ongoing story, and 250 is DEFINITELY a problem. I'd say shoot for 800 words-of STORY, mind you-as a minimum. Especially since this story seems to rely a lot on atmosphere, and it's hard to maintain atmosphere if you make every chapter this short.
I very rarely have to say this to new authors (who usually have the opposite problem), but you need to use more formatted text. The site's text editor provides spiffy linebreaks, which you should start using to separate your story proper from the chaff of the A/Ns. And if you bold things like your title, disclaimer, and scene breaks, they'll stand out more.
Also, "Dialogue is written like this," said sakuuya. "You need to punctuate and capitalize it properly."
As for your story itself, it's an interesting premise, and you carry it off pretty well here. I don't have anything more to say, since there's very little actual content, but I think you're off to a fine start.
| princeoftheimmortals chapter 1 . 12/11/2010
Could've been a bit longer, but good start!
Even though this first chpter doesn't have much to it, I have faith in you.
| kisshufan4ever chapter 1 . 12/11/2010
More this sounds epic :)
| Cat chapter 1 . 12/11/2010
haha it was good. keep writing plz