|Reviews for A Brütal New Journey, Ch 1|
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/1/2014
| NoMoreSanity chapter 1 . 2/23/2011
Okay, first things first, Randy RhoadsAwesome.
However, there are a lot of problems with this intro. One, you do a lot of telling without any atmospheric detail. In the end especially, you just say Doviculus is revived, no suspicion, no tension, no imagery, just a few words. That's a problem throughout. Try and add suspense and more detail, and we've got a promising piece here.
Also, just a bit of advice. PUT DIO IN HERE SOMEHOW!
| jacksaw10 chapter 1 . 1/17/2011
Awsome story so far. Please make a chapter 2. Nice touch adding Randy Roads to the mix and having Doviculus infused with Black Tears. You should probably mix the Black Tear army with the Tainted Coil minions. Like brides/battle nuns "Battle Brides" and bleeding death/treeback "Bleeding Tree". Just some ideas. Keep it up though, likin' it alot.