Reviews for Mass Effect: A new past
Astarael Darkrah Black chapter 2 . 4/4
Did you mean Domed or Doomed in terms of the Lunar colonies because you wrote the later.
enji-benjy chapter 14 . 3/1
I don't see why you included the mission with Seren and Anderson in this story when there is no chance in hell it would have taken place in this universe. It only happened in canon because Anderson was being evaluated as a Specter candidate, something that wouldn't have happened here since there is no way in hell the council would even pretend to contemplate a human specter. It was only in canon to demonstrate how evil Seren was.

And even if they were working together, the technology our soldiers have means that the whole thing would have been recorded, so there is no way it could have been blamed on Anderson like it was in canon.

Also, not even the Citadel Counsel is stupid enough (at least the new Salarian isn't) to assign a Specter to investigate a possible rouge Specter, not when they have no idea who it might be. They would use the STG to investigate instead.

Given the differences in Earth history, Cerberus would have either started a century ago when humans first made contact with aliens, or the more likely outcome is that it wouldn't start at all given the way Earth is more unified before space travel is invented and you have repeatedly gone out of your way to say how tolerant of each other everyone in the Alliance is.

Also, whats going on with the human ships shields? Do they stop mass accelerated rounds or not, you seam to show both... Given that the Alliance used directed energy weapons, their shields should be able to stop the point defence Gordian lasers on Citadel ships no problem. The Citadel's kinetic barriers should be all but useless against directed energy weapons, since they are designed to stop a solid object, not energy. Not even reapers used directed energy weapons, if memory serves their main gun is some sort of molten metal suspended in a ME field.

And when is the Alliance going to do something to fix the MASSIVE disadvantage they are at when it comes to space battles? I find it very hard to believe that in all the time since first contact the navy has done nothing to fix the problem that their enemy can engage from much farther away. This could be fixed by either giving them a good defence, or a longer ranged weapon.
TheHabberdashery chapter 15 . 2/15
This forced me to think from multiple perspectives and more intensely overall than most published fiction I own.

I was also absolutely delighted to see the over the top villian quality given to Batarians across the board pointed out and recitified.
Matt chapter 6 . 1/13
Before this chapter i liked it now you lost me.
Over a 100 years earliery they already had weapons completely bypassying kinetic shields. Futhermore they had a 100 years to preprare exactely for such an encounter they knew the enemys weapons the enemys shield the enemys engines. And here you have humanity COMPLETLY unprepared for citadel stamdart technology?
Yeah i dont like it. It makes no sense at all.
orionastro chapter 15 . 12/14/2014
amazing story , the system alliance is just perfect .
ayleid chapter 9 . 11/15/2014
I'd like to point out an inconsistency here. It would seem that relay 314 and 187 are twin primary relays, that is, linked together exclusively, across a great distance. However, the Turians found the humans studying (and, in canon, activating) the relay on their own side. If the first Turian group had found the humans on the side of the pair that wasn't in any way Citadel space (after crossing the distance with regular FTL), they couldn't have even tried to pretend that they were applying Citadel law. And the humans didn't activate the relay just to go study its twin away from their controlled space.
ayleid chapter 6 . 11/15/2014
Alright, I've got to put my foot down and remark that four fifths the speed of light is higher than anything Mass Effect canon races have cooked up, including the Reapers. A slug that fast could probably crack a tectonic plate.
I'd also like some specs on these antimatter warheads. You can't just disable antimatter, when the missiles were destroyed by GUARDIAN point defense systems the antimatter within should have made contact with the casing (destroyed or not) and exploded in a flash of superheated particles and lethal EM radiation (unaffected by Mass Effect fields). Depending on the distance between the explosion and the vessels, and the quantity of antimatter involved, the radiation could have melted them regardless, or fried some systems, or at least temporarily blinded the sensors.
Finally, what were these phasers ? They would have to be kinetic or particle weapons to get stopped by ME field shielding. Energy weapons bypass them completely, i.e. the Pulse Rifles and Ion Burst cannon from chapter 1. Why weren't these ships equipped with anything able to bypass ME fields when the Alliance knows that they exist ?
The fic is otherwise very neat, with just a bit too much side shows. Exposition is important, but needs to be more to the point.
trninjakiller chapter 14 . 9/17/2014
You do know that if the alliance constitution is based on the US constitution then the alliance has the right to force the change. In the us constitution you have a right to practice your culture as long it does not violate the rights of those around you. That means that if their culture is be discriminatory against the male gender of their race then that cultural practice would be unconstitutional for infringing on the rights of other citizens.
TheConstellation chapter 6 . 8/24/2014
Molon Labe.
Guest chapter 6 . 8/13/2014



4/5 the speed of light shots?

Kinetic Barriers blocking whatever the hell a Phaser is?

*Checks* The laser used in a laser printer? They tried to draw a picture on them?

It could be you're referring to the Particle Beams from Star Trek, but there's no such thing as Nadion and those were made up magic nonsensoleum rays.

Don't know where Hyperspace came from, because no one mentioned FTL before the Prothean ruins, the Protheans didn't use hyperspace (because hyperspace is now and was always sci fi bullshit handwavium nonsense), and while the ME fields are mostly nonsense they're loosely based on real life theories of FTL we haven't debunked yet, and they aren't like, you hit a button and are gone, you have to accelerate to FTL inside the bubble.

Kinetic Barriers do absolutely nothing to particle beams and lasers. Absolutely nothing. 0% effective.

The ME ships with the biggest Guns are Dreads, and their top firing speed doesn't reach 2% light speed. 80% lightspeed would be... It would cleanse a decent portion of Earth entirely of life.

And finally: The Turians in canon lied. Relay 314 was just the cover story, the real reason they attacked is because they lost a ship carrying a 'Prothean' (Reaper) artifact in the area that crash landed on Shanxi and they declared the entire section of space off limits. They invaded Shanxi to retrieve it, it's how Saren got Indoctrinated.

After the FCW, they covered it up, the humans never found out and the Turians just claimed to be following Citadel Law about the relay's as an excuse, it's why the Asari and Salarians flipped their shit, because starting a war over the Relays is as bullshit it sounds.

Mass Effect: Evolution wasn't out when this Chapter was written, but I just felt like commenting as I'm reading.
thepkrmgc chapter 15 . 7/13/2014
saren's POV is interesting, and not entirely without its merits, I look foreward to reading the sequel!
thepkrmgc chapter 14 . 7/13/2014
it seems like i was close to the mark about the salarians as alliance sympathizers, and nice work with the geth and krogan, the quarians will be pissed about the geth talks but the prospect of peacefully reclaiming rannoch should bring them to the table
thepkrmgc chapter 13 . 7/13/2014
I really like your take on the batarians, its by far the best ive seen (with the possible exception of renegade reinterpretations) and i cant wait to see how you manage to do the krogan and geth. i hope you put some more attention on the melting pot of cultures and how quarians and geth can co-exist in one society
thepkrmgc chapter 12 . 7/13/2014
good to see that the council is finally moving of their pedestal, the alliance ideology does pose an existential threat to their way of life. the 4 races you said at the end are the obvious levers against the council, but i think the strongest might actually be the salarians. in addition to their lust for human tech they are an extremely pragmatic people: if the council is a sinking ship then they would be the first to defect, and the other council races are asking the stg to commit suicide by alliance
thepkrmgc chapter 11 . 7/13/2014
yay for diplomacy, and you make a good point about how the asari sets up humanity to come in contact with the batarians: thats part of my headcannon from this point on
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