|Reviews for The Night of the Twisted World|
| unutterably stupid chapter 1 . 4/3/2011
very nice. characters came through crisp and clear. the extrapolated Jim was excellent as was the slow acceptance of the reality of Artie. Kassandra was a nice touch ... It's been a while, so if she's from the series, I don't recall. Nicely visual. Enjoyed this jaunt in the alternative Wild West
| California gal chapter 2 . 1/26/2011
I'm glad you were able to finish this. My suggestion would be next time you finish the whole story before starting to post it. Less stressful and also allows you to make changes in the early parts! You could still post chapters periodically if you want to keep folks in suspense! :-)
You didn't do badly writing the characters, though I had to remind myself a few times that this Jim was not OUR Jim. Same with Jeremy.
The ending was a bit confusing. It might have needed more thought and explanation. A dream was a bit of a letdown for me. I thought they'd be encountering some villain. This is the first of your stories I've read, but I'm going to take a look at your WWW/ST crossover when I get time.
All in all, I enjoyed the story. Keep at it. New WWW stories are always welcome. And as others have suggested, watch more WWW so you acquire a better feel for the characters. Be sure to continue to have your writing beta'd. I saw a few typos and misuses, but I'm not sure where Pet started beta-ing for you.
Oh, by the way, there were not a "few weeks" between the end of the Civil War and Lincoln's assassination. The war ended on April 9 and Lincoln was assassinated April 14.
| Paradox Eyes chapter 10 . 1/26/2011
After reading the whole thing, I think what I liked best about it, is that it started out very slow and deliberate, then all of a sudden it just snowballed. I kept thinking, whoa, it's going too fast, it's too erratic. Then the end revelation came and you caught me totally off guard, I wasn't expecting that. That's exactly how a dream would go, good job! Your last paragraph was a bit cyptic though, makes me think this is part of a much larger story...is there a possible sequel coming?
Anyway, thank you for the very creative story Saphura! I do hope you'll write more WWW fiction for us in future.
| Cruelest Sea chapter 10 . 1/25/2011
Ah a dream! And all the time I was trying to figure out how it would all work out.:P
Nice touch and nicely done.:)
| Cruelest Sea chapter 9 . 1/24/2011
Awesome update! Eagerly looking forward to more.
| Cruelest Sea chapter 8 . 1/23/2011
| Paradox Eyes chapter 7 . 1/23/2011
So happy to see the story moving again! Your changes are working well. I'm enjoying the dynamic between your main characters - strangers and yet old friends. So many anxious questions to be answered...will Artie make it back? Is Jim's life ruined forever? Who is doing this? ...You've picked a good recipe...your readers await the next serving!
| Cruelest Sea chapter 7 . 1/22/2011
I like the bit about how Jeremy met Jim - nice touch. Looking forward to more.:)
| Cruelest Sea chapter 6 . 1/21/2011
Thank you for a new update.:) Great as always.
I'm very curious now to see what will become of this reality's Artemus..can he return and change what happened to his "other self"? Can he stay with Jim in the present time? Or...? It will be very interesting to see what happens to him.
| California gal chapter 1 . 1/9/2011
I read a little bit of this and it looks promising (though could stand a beta reader as another reviewer pointed out). I also think you should try to watch the entire series if at all possible. However, I am not going to read any more until it's finished. :-) I've been burned too many times by authors who post chapters as written rather than finishing first, and then the story never gets completed. So I'll be patient and hope you do finish it. Good luck!
| Paradox Eyes chapter 5 . 12/28/2010
Good story telling!
First of all, I love your enthusiasm. It's very evident that you appreciate the original WWW canon and the friendship between the two main characters. The more you watch, the stronger your perception of all the characters will become.
The story premise is excellent, good choice. I like the way you overlay comments from the current/correct time line, from whom appears to be Jim (and our villain). I'd like to see a bit more of those comments. I'm also looking forward to confirmation on who it might be. I have my guesses! Very intriguing plot. I'm enjoying this very much.
On a more analytical note, I would encourage you to have someone beta read for you. From my own experience, I'm always aghast at my missed clerical and spelling errors. Another set of eyes can help you catch things that need a little tweaking. Other than that you are a very fine writer. I am eagerly waiting for the story to continue unfolding. Thank you for sharing your talent with us!
| Cruelest Sea chapter 5 . 12/27/2010
So Jim knows it's Artemus. Good.
Looking forward to more, this is very interesting.:)
| Cruelest Sea chapter 4 . 12/17/2010
Aww what a tragic way for Artemus to die. Poor Jim and Arte too.
Looking forward to your next update- this is excellent! :)
| Cruelest Sea chapter 3 . 12/16/2010
Great update.:) I'm glad Artemus and Jim are back together, even if Jim has changed so much and doesn't know it's Artemus.
| Cruelest Sea chapter 2 . 12/14/2010
Ah the plot thickens. This is getting very intriguing!