You're a good storyteller, but eeesh, get a proofreader. The chronic misuse of "it's" is jarring. It's it is.

Something that struck me in this chapter in particular: Moody telling the teens that they had under an hour to run around an island "two miles around." They would have to be utter couch potatoes for this to be an issue: I routinely WALKED that distance in a little over half an hour as a teenager. Now alright, I had a brisk walking pace and loved to walk, but they'd have to be seriously out of shape to take as long as twenty minutes to jog it.

Chapter 17/18. Thought the Brocklehursts were killed over the summer. And you keep jumping between a Megan and Mandy with regards to the necklace. Unless I missed something and Mandy was still alive. But then who is Megan - just a typo? (enjoying regardless :) )

Why no owl for Harry for the magic by Dumbledore?

Phenomenal story

Another excellent story. Well done!

Only just managed 2 miles in under an hour? Merlin’s beard! How unfit are Harry and his friends? Lol I can run 2 miles in just over ten minutes and even an average person could walk it in under an hour haha. Love the story though

Man, why you gotta be all cliffhangery?

love your story thoroughly. however i must point out that you already murdered the ntire brocklehurst family earlier in the story

truly amazing character devolpment. you should be proud of your work

Terrific story.

But I fear for the kids left behind. Sorry, but you have to at least maim child soldiers in battle. Or you will die

Damn

Evil cliffhanger

Man

Out oh

Great chapter

I get the plot twists but why allow the others to walk around unnoticed.