|Reviews for Lion's Pride|
| james.consolidated chapter 26 . 11/1
Fantastic story. Very well written. Dialog has been really interesting and believable. Thank you for taking the time to post this.
| SarcasticallySatyrical chapter 1 . 10/21
Excellent sequel, and you can tell that the writing has improved. The characters are more interesting and the plot is fascinating. I really can't wait to finish this trilogy.
| Temporal Knight chapter 26 . 9/25
Okay I haven't posted reviews on many of the chapters in this installment so I'll try to encapsulate most of my reactions in this one.
-Seriously love Astoria.
-The fate of Milicent was...mean. I've never been a huge fan of her and all but then you go and not only develop her but make her sympathetic, nice and rather likeable. Then you kill her out of the blue with something that was nonfatal in canon. And there was basically no mourning or hard feelings by anyone beyond extremely minor mentions once or twice. I get the need for death in these stories but at least Daphne and Tracey really should've reacted to it a bit more in next chapter considering they had started to become friends. And the others as well were on good terms with her yet it had no effect on them whatsoever. Hell Draco took it worst and he was the one responsible! It just came across as a bit...well a bit like you had it out for her.
-Hmm, I'm not happy at all with how easily Hogwarts fell. It seemed far too simple for the Death Eaters, especially with the forewarning for the staff. And the staff themselves come across as extreme pushovers.
-Well Theodore has certainly stepped up to the plate.
-It's nice to see Daphne and Harry acting a bit more like hormonal teenagers.
-Well, with Dumbledore dropping the hint about Regulus hopefully it won't take half the next story for them to track down the locket!
-I like the weakening of Voldemort with each Horcrux destruction angle. I don't however, enjoy that this is going to lead to the death of Cho. I don't particularly like Cho but she doesn't deserve to be bled like a stuck pig just because she had the bad luck to react like a real teenager and engender all around fandom hate. (Sucks for the other three as well.)
-Wow Blaise was a total dick.
-Luna has yet again disappeared from the story despite again setting up initially that she was going to be brought into the main group. It almost feels like you just forget about her after the train.
-I like Amelia Bones. It's cool how she was the new head of the Order. Didn't see that one coming at all.
-Continuity Problems: You mentioned that the Death Eaters thought Amelia had died yet later on you said that Draco was punished in place of another when Voldemort was told she had escaped. Same thing with Snape teaching the group Sectumsempra during summer yet the last few chapters were the "first" time he was teaching it to Harry.
-Spelling/Grammar: You really need to go through with an editing run because while the spelling errors aren't as bad as many I've seen it does take away from the story at enough points that it's noticeable.
Overall, a good sequel to your first and I look forward to seeing how the next one ends things. Some inconsistencies and things that didn't quite make sense or threads that got dropped but in general the good points outweigh the bad. I think a quick editing run would go a long way to fixing the small remaining issues.
| Anne McSommers chapter 1 . 6/25
I read most of the first part of this trilogy, but was busy with school and didn't get to continue until part 2 had already came out. When I read he su,,art for this paet, and had it spoiled that Ron is dead for part 2 I never continued. Even considered rereading, but as soon as I see the dead Ron spoiler above the su,Kary for part 1 I am put off. Maybe you would consider
| Nobody214 chapter 1 . 5/11
It has been awhile since i have reviewed under this Pen. I have alreasy read the first book. Now starting the second. Im not sure if you noticed it but in the first book Mrs. Greengrass's name was Abigal. And in the one it is Auroa. Not a big thing that i know of,
| Blazeb79 chapter 26 . 3/28
Amazing, just ,,,wow!
| calihiker chapter 18 . 3/28
In this chapter, you had a major inconsistency with Chapter 10: "The entire Brocklehurst family had been slain only a moment or two before the order arrived." So how could she now be imperioused?
Also, in the last chapter, you neglected previous conversations with Dumbledore and Harry in your own stories. "New" discussions weren't really new. They had already been discussed and decided.
| crpt chapter 8 . 1/25
Wow... So not only was the review completely wrong, but it looked like it was written by a 10yr old... (･_-｡ )
Loving the story by the way.
| Lunarwolf150 chapter 21 . 12/23/2014
Slightly confused on chapter 21. Near the end you have Snape teaching harry the sectumsempra curse, but didnt harry and all his friends learn it in chapter 9 of the lions pride? Daphne is talking bout how disgusted she was to learn some of the 'dark' spells from Snape, specifically calling out the sectumsempera
| ryencoke chapter 5 . 12/19/2014
I always hate Moody in fanfic. Paranoia way overdone. And nobody would take the crap he deals out, he would have been AK'd by even the most light of Light wizards.
Like in this chapter at the beginning. I would have told him to go screw himself with this own leg and demanded they get a decent teacher in there, someone who shows some respect. Moody is the DADA version of Snape in potions.
| Eagle-Eyes chapter 8 . 11/9/2014
If you used copy and paste of that review you responded to, taskmaster not only can't read very well or remember what s/he reads, but also can't spell very well...
I thought it was a very seamless transition. Of course, I tend to read stories that are complete or nearly complete...
Glad it didn't discourage you...
| Eagle-Eyes chapter 2 . 11/9/2014
And i start this one in tears too...
Oh well, at least you wrote a sequel...
We'll just have to see where this one goes...
| MrToasterMan chapter 26 . 10/25/2014
I can't help but be frustrated at the lack of steps taken to defend the castle. The fact that Nott got the map is also irritating but a good story doesn't stack things for the good guys all the time. I still feel Dumbles preparation for Harry was lack luster but we'll see what happens. I look forward to reading the finale.
| MrToasterMan chapter 21 . 10/25/2014
I've noticed a minor recurring problem. I can't quite remember the specifics of the others but in this chapter Snape teaches Harry Sectumsempra but it was said that the whole group was taught it during the summer vacation/training.
On a side note, I'm disappointed that you kept mentioning how Dumbledore was going to train Harry in magic and then only taught him one thing...
| GBTtown chapter 6 . 10/8/2014
Harry killed Dolohov in the DoM and Neville killed Bella in the Atrium. I would say that they were pretty well blooded in battle.