Your grammar is lacking. There are way too many cases of wrong usage of You're/Your, It's/its, etc. It's almost as if the story is meant to be read aloud.

Great story, I don't know where it is going next but I look forward to it. Thank you for writing.

Thanks for writing!

oooh snap. this certainly won't end well.

i thought amelia and susan bones had their deaths faked. these little continuity slips are getting more common, and it's kinda breaking the story.

mandy brocklehurst died, remember? her whole family was killed off during the abduction of ollivander. you need to watch these little continuity slips.

you seem to have both megan and mandy referring to the same girl. might want to take a look at that

I'm sorry... but you're making Blaise seem like a rapist. He's not. He's a boy who was taught to never connect by his possibly murderous mother, who was met with a very willing girl who never once told him to stop. Sure he's a bit apathetic, but is that really his fault? I don't think so.

one thing I don't get about this chapter and cannon as well. Dumbles was all about keeping the Prophecy secret because Voldemort might get the info. So what does he do after forcing Harry to learn from Snape to protect his mind. He goes and tells Harry to tell others that can't protect their minds and could lead to Voldemort getting the info. Seems like more of Dumbles usual shit to meen.

THTis was a good follow up chapter

This was an excellent chapter

I know its for the sake of the story but I think that Harry had the map on him at all times so there is a zero percent chance of it being stolen.

It's only chapter 12, and I want Draco dead.

When Daphne asked Harry , when he was going to ask her to Slughorn's party . I would haved Harry say , " That Slughorn was so happy to people from different Houses together , that they should all invite people from other Houses as dates , just to bring more friends together . " . Then , Luna , Tracey and other DA members could be there , maybe spread it to other invitees .

2 miles in under and hour, that is just a brisk walk! The goal should be closer to under 16 min for the boys and under 20 min for the girls. These times are based on the minimum standard (ages 17-19) for the US Navy. Outstanding would be 11 min for the boys and 12min 38sec for the girls. When I was a young Petty Officer (20-26 years of age), I would run 3.3 miles in about 24 min on a regular basis. That is a mile in just under 7.5 min. But then again, the time limit for when he adds the obstacles sounds reasonable.