Reviews for In Flight
Lawn Chair Reviews chapter 40 . 8/5/2023
Things are picking up. Once again, I’m getting the Impression you are trying to get from A to B, hitting some specific points along the way, and doing various methods to handle the in-between parts. With differing levels of quality and success.
But the start of the Rin and Saber Arc had more parts that were actual higher quality, in my opinion, than other works, yours or otherwise. Some of the banter was funny. Some of the emotionally tense scenes were legit. Some of the characterizing interactions were written well. A solid few chapters. Even if I can tell that this arc is likely divisive for many reasons.
Lawn Chair Reviews chapter 37 . 7/31/2023
The Higa arc was a pretty sloppy, I’m not gonna lie. It really accentuates the main shortcomings of your writing styleinherent nature of early 2010s fanfictionthe issues of both canons’ natures.
But my biggest gripe is that it overall felt rough. Rushed. I mentioned whiplash earlier from the whole narrative of: revelation, false explanation, downtime, REAL revelation, slightly less false explanation, downtime, ACTUAL real revelation, somewhat accurate explanation, downtime, Chiho.
This was like that, but all in on the action and exposition.
Lawn Chair Reviews chapter 35 . 7/27/2023
Last few chapters were pretty solid. Ups and downs, but overall decent. There’s the usual issues with more quality based things and personal nitpicks.
But when looking at parts with selective levels of context, there are scenes that are definately well made.
Matsu’s date had cute and well written sections. The exposition is another Kaleidoscopeable handwave.
Various scenes show both that Shirou is distorted, but others also have bits showing he’s becoming less warped. The whole Uzume bit was wrapped up nicely.
It does seem like you’re rushing to get from A to B, but lots of other people have that “writing style” so it’s not that big of a deal.
The big fight was your usual fare, so I won’t comment on it too much. And Karasuba as usual is fun.
Lawn Chair Reviews chapter 32 . 7/24/2023
The past couple of chapters were decent. The exposition was handled somewhat well. Being made as natural as you could do. And the Chiyo subplot was wrapped up in a neat bow nice and concisely. It’s sort of a filler arc, bur one that kinda needs to be dealt with. The mechanics of the story’s plot, nuances of the characters, and quality of the writing has likely been discussed to death, but I enjoyed it.
The House Lupus thing is pretty funny. Homurabwas handled as well as I think could be done; the topic itself hasn’t aged well, but you were fairly tactful with it, which is commendable, all things considered.
R.R. Blaze chapter 44 . 7/23/2023
Good story.
Just so you know, the view that there have no heroic spirits for centuries is wrong. Just look at Billy the Kid, Bonaparte, Jack the Ripper and Lakshmibai, if you don't believe me.
Lawn Chair Reviews chapter 30 . 7/21/2023
This chapter was pretty good. Not a fan of the previous one though. Very expositiony; I’m guessing you’re trying to get to the next point.
There’re a fair number dips in quality here and there, especially in the last chapter. But it’s better than an X hour time skip with a page of infodumping. This way lots of the stuff was somewhat padded. So yeah, not a fan of the last chapter, this one picks up though.
Some recurring issues with this and that and so one still niggle at the back of the head, but they aren’t dealbreakers. Just a lot of mild personal dislikes, and a handful of more objective criticisms.
LambMan2424 chapter 40 . 7/21/2023
I love how you truly captured shirou’s core as a “hollow shell imitating a human”. Its rarely touched upon in fanfics cuz most people tend to forget how bad his mentality is from his usual demeanor
Lawn Chair Reviews chapter 27 . 7/18/2023
A bit weird. Like, secrets out. Uh, again. But there’s not much reason for Shirou to tell Miya and Uzume about the extent of his abilities. Maybe Miya warn Miya that the average magus has ethical standards so low they’re a tripping hazard for hell, but that’s the most I can logically justify. Otherwise, it’sjist strange to tell people that much more.
It’s just a lot of exposition. Written surprisingly well, and somewhat accurately, but still: exposition.
There were some funny character moments still. And every scene with Karasuba tends go be good. So overall a decent chapter.
Lawn Chair Reviews chapter 26 . 7/18/2023
This chapter was mostly fine. It was written pretty well. It’s just the issues with the cause and previous chapters and other things that I’m not a fan of, as I mentioned before. This is mainly just a continuance of that.
Matsu did have a strong defining moment here though, which is neat. So did a few others too. Overall I have my complaints, but they more objective ones are more about the story itself and its developments; a bit of the execution as well, but still I’m mostly positive.
Lawn Chair Reviews chapter 25 . 7/17/2023
You really just decided to start dropping bombshells and barely letting the dust settle. Nobody really reacts that much to Shirou’s (at least half fake) story. Tsukiumi sorta does, and she does get some nice characterization here, which I like. But the development of the HGW’s semi-reveal didn’t have much impact. And a good chunk of the stuff around the fake parts become irrelevant by the Fraga blowing open that can of worms almost immediately after. It’s like “alright the true story is blackmail scheme” next chapter “and they believed me” next chapter “I lied, true story is Illuminati sponsored tournament” next chapter “and they believed me” next chapter “I lied, the true story is actually magic Illuminatin sponsored tourmament”. I get whiplash. The plot points, while possible (and perhaps even probable) don’t have room to breathe.

I did like the actual fight. Showed off how the Fraga was able to stand up to all the varied Sekirei. The Fragarach part has already been picked to death, so I’ll just assume Kaleidoscope and move on. And like I said there were also a few smaller good moments for characters like Kazehana, Matsu, Tsukiumi, etc.
Lawn Chair Reviews chapter 24 . 7/17/2023
This was a bit messy. Convoluted, contrived. It was very sudden as well. It had some good writing and fun parts here and there, but the plot developments themselves have some issues.

Matsu didn’t have a reason to look through Shirou’s past, what with the current game. Let alone try and... get the others to pressure Shirou into explaining his past by telling everyone what little she could find? Is that what her plan was? And it worked?
I mean, I think I can come up with semi-logical reasonings for how things developed this way; y’know, what sort of thought processes lead to Matsu thinking this was a good idea, and what thought processes made Shirou believe spinning this yarn of the Grail war and the beans of his Sekirei Plan plans.
But while I can think of possible explanations for the motivations of fhe characters, that’s not the reader’s job.

And the whole fake war explanation is in a similar situation to Shirou’s previous explanation with Medea. He doesn’t have a reason to tell them that much. The story is accurate enough without being true which makes it kinda weird that Shirou was able think of it on the fly.
These two semi-fake-explanations of his past are overall just unexpected, unexplained, and inviting later confusion and overcomplexity.

Finally, Shirou’s stuff on the game itself is also... I’m assuming to be divisive. OOC, or whatever. That one I can ignore, even if it’s weird that he would also tell everyone about them.
Guest chapter 44 . 7/16/2023
Well I abstained giving a review till I finished this and I must say this is stupid no offense
Shirou is not acting like shirou so a SINO fic
And this thing that really bothered me "sekirei are as strong as servants" wtf like seriously ? Well this is kinda childish and I am sounding like those "can he beat goku thou?" Degenerate but that is crucial in fiction to respect levels of power I think
And I'm glad you tried to respect the events of the anime but there are many asspulls but forgivable
So anyway in my humble opinion this fic is 5 out of 10
And it's pretty good pass time
God feel like an ass writing all this
Barbatus Lupus Rex chapter 2 . 7/16/2023
I feel bad for emiya, really if this isn’t a crossover i bet he would waste his life as a mercenary just like kiritsugu, and spend most of his life in the middle east. I don’t know if he will make a contract with alaya, but if the archer in his holy grail is EMIYA then probably not
Lawn Chair Reviews chapter 23 . 7/16/2023
Nice chapter. Good way to explore some of the unknowns of the Sekirei. The winging wasn’t graphic or trashy which was a pleasant surprise. Honestly, I think the whole thing was handled very well. Good job.
The underlying mechanics of the situation is very complicated, and Shirou, as we know, isn’t the best researcher. That it worked is pure plot coincodence, but checks out.
Also, Matsu is great here too.
Lawn Chair Reviews chapter 22 . 7/15/2023
This chapter is definately interesting. Getting the backstory of how Shirou got the designation was nice and it mostly makes sense.
How Shirou explained the Medea mess was... interesting. And also a bit too, IDK, clever(?) of an improved story to come from him. And having him make up the whole web of lies for some pretty weak reasoning was strange.
As an aside, I’m not the biggest fan of your A.N.s being at the start of the chapter. It just kinda disrupts the flow of things too.
Otherwise, the harem shenanigans were still pretty enjoyable. Despite there being so many characters you avoided making most of them one note archetypes. Not by an extreme amount, but it is still nice they have a bit more depth than a puddle.
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