|Reviews for In Flight|
| Mikey123 chapter 5 . 12/23/2010
Awesome chapter! I like the fact that Shiro tries to teach the girls modesty and having it not work out. Update soon and merry christmas!
| cartoons68 chapter 4 . 12/23/2010
PROMPT UPDATES ROCK!
Good work chp 4 supplied some action ,humour and informed Shirou of some base info on the sekirei plan via Minaka.I'm
glad you ignored the nay-sayers about Musubi. I always found her innocence, naivette and positivity amusing (can easily see the comedy act betwixt Akitsu & Musubi working)and fully agree about your note about what she brings to the plot!
A few reviewers have commented on your spelling/word use,they're do make errors in spelling and occasional odd choice of being said I often miss one or two of your mistakes in the first couple times I read your newest chapter! Anyone can make mistakes, just do your best & we'll enjoy the results!
GOOD CHAPTER ,CONTINUE PLEASE!
| bnmhj520 chapter 5 . 12/23/2010
Awwwwwwww yeah. Keep it going! Merry Christmas!
| khaos974 chapter 5 . 12/23/2010
I'm quite dubious at the amount of fanservice in this fic, the fanservice in HoS was quite funny and mostly centered around Kirche and Siesta, ie. 2 characters among a full cast.
On the other hand, I find it a lot more present in this fic, while the Sekirei universe is a lot more fanservicy than Louise of Zero, I find that in a fic, it spoils the pacing and can be quite repetitive.
| NamelessEpitaph chapter 4 . 12/23/2010
You're still making slight errors like sweat instead of sweet and at a point or two you repeat emphasizing phrases twice in the same sentence, but those are mostly negligiable mistakes that are barely worth noticing.
As to Musubi providing only fanservice, if you're really that concerned about it then just develop her on your own into a character that's actually enjoyable.
I also can't help but wonder if he'll run this campaign more ruthlessly now that he's more familiar with this sort of thing. A sort of 'one hundred and eight have to die to save the world from the old gods' return' kind of thing.
But whatever you settle on will be quite entertaining, I'm sure.
That said I'd almost like to see Shirou running around trying to kill all the Sekirei under the mistaken belief that they are blood-sucking monsters. Or rather, the aftermath and misunderstandings that sort of thing would bring about between the Ashibaki/Sekirei themselves, the MBI and, assuming they cared enough to listen to him, Clock Tower forces. With his 'bone of sword/fire for blood/steel for body' chant they could even confuse him for one of their own kind that's gone rogue. And then the reveal, where he comes to realize he just murdered an entire (mostly) innocent race in a genocidial campaign... Bam! Instant Archer.
Huh, I sound remarkably amoral don't I?
| Aznkendoboy124 chapter 4 . 12/23/2010
I'm really surprised that you've started to work on something so soon after Hill of Swords, it was quite a doozy and you finished it so quick that I would have thought that you wanted to take a break; not that I'm complaining of course.
I'm enjoying the story immensely so far and i hope you continue writing, your writing seems to be the only consistently good and updated fanfiction I can read anywhere.
| krtys chapter 4 . 12/23/2010
I have to say, this story so far is pretty interesting. I don't review, mostly because it takes time away from ym reading, but I couldn't stop myself from encouraging the good work. Power to you.
| NA chapter 2 . 12/23/2010
Great story so far, I loved Hill of Swords and this is shaping up to be an enterning yarn as well. I gotta say though, if this shirou is anything like the one featured in Hill of Swords then he is seriously overpowered compared to even the strongest sekirei revealed thus far(karasuba, miya). I mean he could beat them in their own specialties (sword fighting). I'm sure you can twist the plot and add enough drama, intrigue, and character development to make this an excellent story while avoiding the pitfalls of a godmode character (powerful characters are fine as long as they are up against circumstance that can actively challange them, perhaps have some clocktower agents find shirou, I'd love to see Minaka humbled by a more powerful organization.) Anyway keep up the excellent work.
| Druss the Legend chapter 4 . 12/23/2010
or at least it'll be...
Man...it's not so much about his swords - tho' i can't wait to see them - i am really excited about a warrior taking part in the Sekirei game.
The original Minato did not contribute anything...tactically...so i want to see Shirou tear through the opposition...i mean his opponent certainly do not have any experience actually finghting in battles...
so that's why i know its gonna be epic...
none the less - good work and heres hoping to see more from you soon...
| Ebony017 chapter 4 . 12/23/2010
Great job on your new story man and I have to say this a great blend. Its been a while since I read the Manga but this is making look it up again. Love the twist you put in with Akitsu and explaining how she got her Canon clothing with Shirou. Having the basis of the characters just turned upside down and making it your own is amazing. Nice job using the dream from Minato had in Canon to show Homura. Plus I can wait to see Tsukiumi's reaction to finding out Homura was winged.
As for people bashing Musubi, while I can't defend her position as a great character I do have to say that she may be needed since at the minimum she has a connection between Karasuba and possibly absorbing the number 8 Sekirei Yumi's(I think thats her name) abilities or conscious. Plus having Sekirei's 1-8 may influence the Jinki since they seem to resonate with the Sekirei with the same number.
Good work on downplaying Shirou til he needs to show his abilities. For those who read the reviews aside from the author the reason Gabriel isn't bringing in the swords yet is because its still early in the story and Shirou is doing everything he can to stay off the grid, meaning limiting use of magic and knowledge of a Magus being in town. As for the Association finding Shirou through MBI, its unlikely unless a much younger member of their committee saw their potential and invest in them and even then still unlikely since Shirou seems to be the most technological of Mages considering he used that "Structual Grasp Magecraft" to analyze pretty much anything that didn't have a data in it like he was viewing a blueprint. Though I wonder if Matsu can teach him?
Anyway that's a long as review so I'll cut it here. Again great job and while you may consider your pace slow its pretty damn quick for the rest of us.
| Shadow Rave chapter 4 . 12/22/2010
I'm beginning to realize just how epic in scale this fic can become. First, the Magic Association is just one of the factions to be weary of. There's also the Church executioners/buriers that would most likely slaughter any and all Sekirei they'd manage to identify. Then you have the Dead Apostle's. Some of them would interfere with the Sekirei plan simply because it's amusing. Can you just see it? VAMPIRIC SEKIREI? HOLY ****
Minaka has absolutely no idea what he's about to bring about... No idea at all...
| tzar1990 chapter 4 . 12/22/2010
Okay, first, I'm really like this story so far. I haven't read Sekirei, but you do a good job of explaining the details without coming across as blatant exospeak. Shirou's attitude towards the whole thing is both amusing and appropriate, and I look forward to seeing what will happen next.
Second, you REALLY don't need to apologise for updating slowly when it's only been like a week since the last chapter. You write better and faster than pretty much any fanfic author I can name!
| chaosmagez chapter 4 . 12/22/2010
I hope Shirou opens up a can of kick $$ on someone at some point.
| HikariNiwa chapter 4 . 12/22/2010
Shirou finally gets some of that valuable commodity known as information.
| kenlon chapter 4 . 12/22/2010
This is good stuff, and I've never heard of Sekirei before. Shirou's H-game protagonist field is in full operation here.
The only thing that's nagging me is that you haven't told us what happened between him, Saber, and Rin. I really, really hope it's not a case of them falling out of love, because that would be incredibly sad. (Though even if they have, they will *murder* him for building a new harem, probably before finding out that he hasn't actually *done* anything. . .)