Wow, Karen. You seriously think Sarah would do that? Way to be an effin' bitch. And if her dad believes that, he's a MORON. I love watching Toby's language grow through the story as he grows, and this is just tearing me up.

Bravo. Bravo! My hair stands on end. I am horrified and beguiled and delighted by this story. Well done indeed.

AAAAAAAAAAAGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

*catches breath*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

My heart is beating a mile a minute. So much sexual menace in Jareth, and so much cogent and capable resistance from Sarah. But oh my god, that last bargain. Did he agree? Or did he refuse? What will happen NEXT? I'm afraid to click le button.

Yikes! EEK! What a cliffhanger!

"I don't know if magical kings have swear jars but that one must have been a dollar AT LEAST." Bwaahahahaha! Awesome. Awesome.

I like the ambiguous relationship Jareth is cultivating with Toby, and I like the fact that Toby's so responsive. It's also pretty interesting the way you've done a first-person narrative that progresses through a series of years, beginning with a young narrator and, by this chapter, a fifteen-year-old-ish narrator. It really works well.

As for other notes... Toby better be talking to Sarah. She's not easily fooled, and she's really stubborn. He needs to tell her the truth. And she needs to listen.

Wow I've never read a fan fic written in Toby's voice before! And that was good! I always love reading your work, and I finally got around to reading this! I hadn't realized it was completed earlier, that's why I didn't try before. I'm so in love with your Dark!Jareths in all your stories; I think it's amazing how you capture that fey-ness. And I think it's really cool how Jareth isn't just the Goblin King, he's something not quite definable, like a mixture of the different fey stories out there. This one seems a bit like Rumpelstiltskin, while in Erlkonig Jareth is, well.. the erlkonig too. But yeah.. so I loved it! Nice work! :) :D

I'm continually in love with the complexity of your evil Jareth characterizations. Though it was nice to see Toby's interactions with Jareth, the most captivating part of this story for me was again that claiming of Sarah.

Um.. Wow. I'm all choked up. It's a different way to see the story, from Toby's eyes, kind of out side of what's really going on, and without a definitive ending for Jareth and Sarah, but, I really like it.

This chapter killed me slowly.
It took my breath and turned it into the loudness of silence.
It took my heart and twisted until every drop of tense motion was wrung from its veins.
It made me gasp and hold my breath because I was afraid that every sentence was the last, and I wanted it to go on forever and ever.
I had to close my eyes after each phrase and repeat it over and over until my tongue was coated with the poetry written in prose of this story. It tasted like a dream, half forgotten, half remembered.
This is so freaking beautiful.
Thank you so much for writing this.
It killed me.

Oh wow! Just finished reading, this was amazing, very gripping and so well written, thanks so much for an excellent read.

Damn. That was one good fanfiction.

Oh, my god... this is so sad; I'm crying. Poor Toby. What an excellent story, though. Marvelous. Absolutely marvelous.

Wow
That was dark and somewhat... Hazy? I don't know it just had a dream/nightmare feel to it

Ah so jareth is kind to Toby and abusive to women..interesting contradictions

Oh. My. God. That...that just happened, didn't it? Woah. That seriously freaked me out, in a very realistic way. It was amazing and terrifying all at once.

Can you please write something where we find out...I need to know. I just need to know