|Reviews for JINGLE BELL, JINGLE BELL NAWT|
| KeepingLinesBlurry chapter 1 . 12/20/2010
This fic could do with some work - there are spelling and grammar mistakes, and it sounds a little stilted, because you are using lots of short sentences, rather than likning them together a little more.
Although it is a little OOC, I don't see why people are complaining about this, because the point of fanfiction is that people can take the characters and play around with them, so long as they aren't Mary-Sue type characters. You might want to put a thing in the summary though, saying that it's OOC.
I agree that the plot line is slightly bland, but hey, whatever, that could be rectified if you added in a bit more drama and had a few more things happening :)
Maybe get a beta? They are often very helpful and could help you to rectify many of the points I have made above :)
| like an american chapter 1 . 12/18/2010
This is completely OOC. Massie wouldn't make the day of her party during the Winter Formal. She isn't that stupid. You are in need of a Beta reader. Though you're mistakes are minor, they're everywhere. Massie's dogs' name is Bean, not "Beans". You constantly used a semicolon when it was not needed at all. You used it in the middle of sentences where there was absolutely no need of any punctuation. Claire doesn't "turn the tables" as you say; she simply tells Massie a date. This has hardly any material; it's bland.
~Have a nice day!