Reviews for The Trick Is To Keep Breathing
Pamela Buczkowske chapter 2 . 1/21/2012
The story it's self is ok. but your spelling and grammar and punctuation are horrible. Please get spell check and grammar check or use a dictionary.
mckenzie chapter 2 . 5/30/2011
i like this story you should add more too it...please update soon...
bettyspagetti22 chapter 2 . 3/21/2011
Very good chapter & story, please tell me there's more to come
Danny Fan chapter 2 . 2/8/2011
Not to bad, but as a police office Flack would know better than to move an accident victim as that could cause more serious injury such as with spineal injury permently paralized for life.
English teacher chapter 1 . 12/20/2010
EDIT! No one likes run on sentences. Why don't you apply what you have learned in English class to this piece.
afrozenheart412 chapter 1 . 12/19/2010
Hi, this has so much potential. I love this line here "how could Danno' the biggest meat eater in New York have a veggie' daughter." It was so true! :)

I don't mean to harp on what advice you have been given, but if you need help with this try getting a beta. They will help you with the spacing, and punctuation, that is what they are there for. More please!
Catty chapter 1 . 12/19/2010
I'm going to have to agree with the previous review. I think this could be a really interesting story, but for me - in its present format - it's impossible to read. One further point I'd like to make is the fact that you use 'i' instead of 'I' - now it may be that the English teacher in me is coming to the forefront, but that really put me off.

I'd love to read this when you've tweaked it so that I can read it.

C
backstagespotlight chapter 1 . 12/19/2010
You asked what I think, and here it is...

I chose this story because it looked good and it seemed unique. plotwise, I enjoyed it and I think you have some decent ideas.

However, I found it extremely difficult to read and actually skipped a large chunk of the middle simply because I stopped trying. A couple things that I noticed as major hurdles are these: Your whole first paragraph is a very long run-on sentence. This is something that is so basic to writing that I'm sorry to say, it makes this piece unreadable with out them. Think one thought, write it down and end it with some punctuation that's not a comma.

The second thing I noticed was that you used the wrong form of the word bored. Because that was in your first couple lines, I almost stopped reading. It makes you look sloppy and careless. The last thing I'll get after you for is your paragraphing. You need to make something that somebody says start a new paragraph and every new general idea is a category.

Here's my final advice. Run this piece through spell-check and then find a beta reader to help you make the editing changes. It would be a shame to have your imagination go unnoticed due to grammatical errors.
LindsayMesser chapter 1 . 12/18/2010
Update soon!
Collykins chapter 1 . 12/18/2010
Oooh, I'm intruiged. Update :)