i realy hope this story isnt abandoned, and i hope you came through the covid with no problems, this is still a very good story and its well written and as far as i know its totaly original in the plot department very well worth the time to read. thank you for taking the time to share your imagination with us

harry and luna are weak ass shit.

This Chapter was great! I hope that you update soon keep up the great work!

Love the story! The relationship between Harry and Luna is awesome, and Talia has been a great OC. The alliance between the Jedi and Wizards is cool as well.

My issues is that for one, everyone keeps letting the Jedi get away with stuff. From what we can see, the Adepts have a stronger relationship with the wizards, near equal numbers with the Jedi, and their own political base. Yet, they keep just letting the blatant suspicion, and even spying on them behind their backs, go without any repercussions. Serra Keto followed them around, Yoda went to their home planet without a heads up, and constantly question them. I’m not against the Adepts working with the Jedi, or accepting Luminara as an envoy, but I did expect Harry or Luna to rebuke them for it at some point.

You also keep saying that Harry and Luna are improving, but they keep getting beat down. The Ron clones beat the crap out of them before they get a lucky last minute victory, and Maul makes a fool out all of them. I just hope that once they finish their training, they can actually start being at least even against the names characters.

All in all though, it’s a great story and a really unique idea. Keep up the great work!

Thanks Cap. Err, I mean Hermione. I understood that reference as well.

I hope you continue with this story, I quite enjoy it

So are they going to investigate the sources of the dark side of the force that Sirius felt in that empty part of space; and that Ron felt in the ministry of magic?

Hi.

I confess, I an utterly overwhelmed by your epic tale. Coming at this from the HP side and having seen most of the Star Wars movies (years ago - for me part 4 was seen at a Drive-in in the late 70s) you've effectively handed me a tale with scores of OCs.

I did really well up through the point there Harry went back and demolished Riddle. Beyond that the water of your excellent story rapidly got too deep for me and I've honestly been drowning for the last handful of chapters.

At this point, I'll sign off and say, Thank you for sharing your tale.

All the best,

Old-Crow

I will never understand why authors feel the need to make ridiculous over the top new bad guys and continuously give them more power, when the original bad guys were more than OP enough, but you have joined that group congratulations

It feels like you are seriously ignoring the capabilities of magic, the shrinking charm, and space expansion would be really valuable for relief and rescue missions and why not repeat what Harry did to Dooku's ships on the way to the Night Sisters planet, only drop off grenades or larger ordinance, they could completely destroy/disable a fleet doing this, and since you have created two massively dangerous enemies for the future would it not be better to deal with the Empire as quickly as possible?

Why cut luna's hand? there is no necesity and it just feels wrong. I don't understand it ads nothing to the story or the characters and show that even as wizards or force user, they got trash by and old man...

I have enjoyed this story so far. There are too many OC’s for my liking, and your crimes against grammar do not bear thinking about; but the story is interesting and the characters are compelling. I especially appreciate that you have avoided bashing, despite how easy it is to resor to.
I would like to see Harry and Luna develop their combat skills some more. It grows tiresome, watching them set their asses kicked and only winning by luck or allied help. Eventually they need to be able to stand in their own. At some point they have to actually become a threat to not only Palpatine, but also the much more powerful Mah Vey.
It would also be good if you could try and be more clear where people are as you change POV. The changes are so rapid, and there are so many different groups, that it often becomes hard to remember who is where and who they are with.

I look forward to the next chapter.

32 chapters and near 300k words... that is quite a lenght for a story not complete. I actually enjoyed this back in the day when it was on its first couple of chapters and when it took off I was exited on what is to come next. Sadly now it’s becoming quite repetitive. I get that all that has been written is to move the story forward, but having too many point of views no matter how small can throw people off. Readers will at some point forget what was happening on one persons point of view if they are not shown almost regularly. I get that every character you introduce has a part to play, but having way too many will just make it harder for you to write and for your readers to read in the long run. I mean if you kill your characters like GRR Martin does it might help from all the clutter, but even he hasn’t finished his books.

Now let’s talk about Harry and Luna. I get they need training but it seems to me that they are getting worse. It’s like they forgot they have magic. Most of the time during fight they are using magic as a reaction instead of action. Maybe you are trying to show more of their force adept side, but now it’s like they are not magical at all. They only use magic as a utility now. It’s really just them using obscuring spells or expansion spells and that’s it. Any combat or defense spells all seems to just pop out when their instincts kick in and they react to the situation they find themselves in. They always seem to win only after one or both of them are injured. In all the fights I’ve seen them in always like that and it’s too repetitive now. I get that it’s supposed to make the fight exciting, but seeing them get beaten up all the time before somehow suddenly being able to catch the enemy by surprise is getting old. It also makes it seems like they are winning fight by luck and not by skill. If that’s how it is then what are they doing during training assuming they train when they ‘off-screen’ so to speak.

Now let’s talk about the the villain, Palpatine. Yes that’s right I said Palpatine because the way you are writing right now the Mah Vey hasn’t done anything other than talk to Palpatine and give him intel and even then it’s not really intel that helps him at all. I like the way Palpatine is in this fanfic. My problem is he seems to have near unlimited resources. It’s like a cheat code he uses whenever he feels he needs it. With what he has and how unprepared everyone is he could take them all down. The Jedi didn’t see it coming even when told by the adepts. The force adepts despite knowing and preparing is still pretty much out matched.

Next the Vahla. Are they your attempt of giving the ‘rebels’ side a quick power boost against the Empire? With the Mother being put as Hermione and having red hair is seen as touched by the gods does that mean Ron will become the Father? I have to say if two supporting characters suddenly become main characters and more powerful than Harry and Luna then all the work you put on the two main characters will look like a waste of time and effort. If that is the way you are going then you should’ve just written them as the main focus from the start.

Now I hope you don’t feel discouraged by all these. It is only a couple of things that popped in my head after rereading it again. I enjoy this fanfic it why after so long of not reading it I reread it.
My advice is too do some time skips. You can’t write every detail of every fight during the war because it will take a long time to move the story along if that is what you will do. Also research other force abilities if you want to focus on only using them in fights so we won’t just see force lightning catching enemies off guard.

Well that is all. As I said I do enjoy this story and I eagerly await updates just don’t drag it along by repeating things like Harry and Luna fight enemies, they get beaten up, they surprise enemies, and win over and over again. Have them actually attack and deal a crippling blow to the empire that will give them some breathing room to change things up a bit.

Be safe.

Thanks for another enjoyable chapter