|Reviews for Stolen Kiss|
| Afterglow04 chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
This is beyond amazing. How you even managed to come up with ALL of this, after receiving a prompt like "stolen kiss" leaves me in awe. I absolutely love what you did with this prompt, it could not have been interpreted in a more perfect way. The fact that one stolen kiss ultimately led to Jane being saved from his own stupid ways. Thank God you're writing romance :D
My eyebrows shot up when I read the beginning and saw you were writing it as a fairy tale, but it works wonderfully well. And I'm a sucker for fairy tales.
I like that he's torn between Lisbon and Red John, since that's how I always like to think of it when writing Jane in fic. If there's ever anything that can come between him and his insane quest for vengeance, it is most definitely her. And the way you approached it here, how you showed us his growing dilemma, left me smiling.
And, you've managed to kill off Red John quite easily once again. In quite an original way, too, might I add. I am jealous.
I really, really loved how you described him suddenly noticing different things about her. It was very in character without even being the least bit cheesy or cliché. It was all kinds of perfect.
"He didn't have a white horse to ride up on, he wasn't pure and good and noble, he wasn't… alright, he was incredibly handsome." LOL. Hands down, funniest line of the story haha!
"No matter how long she'd been considering Patrick Jane's skills in that particular area..." HEE. I don't blame you, Lisbon.
Dear God, their entire fight nearly had me gasping for air.
That was so incredibly well-written, the whole of this was.
Thank you for a great read!
| Arcadya chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
This is so freaking cute!
But totally believable...
I love that Jane gets angry at her for 'ruining' his chances of killing Red John. Especially the reason for it too!
This was great, loved it.
| Chiisana Minako chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
OMG, I don't even know how to begin this. For one, this was loooong. I'm a BIG FAN of that. Especially if the story is awesome! -which it absolutely was, if you had any doubt.
The format you used was super original and delightful, not to mention slightly sarcastic and parody-like. And the descriptions of our main characters? Spot on. I was grinning from minute one, because dammit this is HER story and Lisbon just RULES DA UNIVERSE.
Bonus points for this being a party on her (and Cho's) behalf. I think that's the first time I've ever read that, and they certainly deserve some more attention. The both of them could be King and Queen Tackling -which I admit, is the way I imagine them preventing the murder of the major. And some super ass-kicking as well.
"In fact, she was far more likely to save the Prince as well, if he happened to run into a spot of trouble on his quest."
OMG, YES. You read my mind. How many times has she saved his ass in canon already xD?
""He's upstairs," her subordinate informed her slyly.
"Who is?" Lisbon asked innocently."
Heeeee. Aah, denial, me loves Especially if it's got company :p and well in this case, Van Pelt's push. Without her this whole story might have turned out differently~ *Suddenly has a flashback of The Butterly Effect*
When the fairytale-like story signaled Lisbon's time to shine and change history forever, I swear I got just a little bit nervous. And anxious. And wanting to read. And OMG, I was so curious how it'd all happen. When he started being a major pain in the ass, I thought she might either hit him or kiss him to shut him up. I was silently hoping it was the latter.
Oh, and it was
HEE! You totally should involve more kissing into your stories ;p. I like -scratch that- LOVE how you write it. It's not too descriptive but not so simple either. It's got a very good balance on making the reader giddy, eager to read and get some butterflies flying around.
All that, and he barely got to answer it.
Lisbon winning an 'argument'? ABSOLUTELY FREAKING RULES.
You took the Stolen Kiss concept and developed it into a whole new level; in importance, in what it really meant for someone -aka Jane- and.. and.. *bounces* yeah. I'm feeling so articulate right now :p (And happy you loved my prompt )
I am so tempted of drawing Jane as a sorcerer right now. Although Lisbon is the heroine, what would her costume be? IF she was a princess, she'd be a warrior princess :p a kickass one. Hm. I'll have to ponder on that one.
Aaanyway, back to the story!
The changes in him noticing her were subtle, in a way. As you said, it's not like he had never been paying attention before. After the stealing, it was just *another* kind of attention. UST, anyone?
"Because somehow she'd stolen more than a single kiss."
I can't tell you how much that phrase makes me swoon *3*.
Jane wanting to play Lisbon while Lisbon knew it and used it to play him... *grins* I just.. can't help myself. I might be super biased, but I am SO on Lisbon's side. Mwa-ha-ha.
The confrontational part was so intense I couldn't stop to pick up a line to quote later. I can totally see Jane using some kind of twisted logic -that we do get thanks to the fairytale-y thingy in italics, but Lisbon doesn't know that- to blame it on her, where she didn't even *actively* had nothing to do with Red John's death (also: something I had never read :P someone beating Jane to the punch, AND being a fellow widower).
He definitely needed some time down to think, alone and away from everyone after such conflicting events. I kinda knew you wouldn't make everything be okay right away, but I'm still glad you did give him his much needed time to mull things over.
"Which meant that it was the perfect time for a mysterious knock on her front door."
Aah, the sarcasm Ilu.
Then? OMG, bring it on! :P I've said it before and I'll say it again.. you're the UST queen. You just do it so well
"You want... You want a kiss?" Lisbon asked, resisting the urge to lick her lips.
"*A* kiss?" he asked, against her ear, clearly scandalized by the idea.
"How many?" she gasped as she felt his nose trail along her neck. She arched back and it was followed by his lips.
"All of them," he whispered, before claiming his prize.
Definitely, one of my favorite parts of this. I'd say THE favorite, but it's seriously too damn hard to pick. The imagery was so good all through this! I could practically picture stuff happening, and I'm always a fan of subtle, well-written pass of time. Oh, and romance. Like I needed to say that, right :P?
"And they lived contrarily ever after."
You just couldn't help yourself, could you? I actually chuckled at this one xD.
Summing up -ahem- this was such a perfect gift for me :)! I love romance. I love how YOU write romance. And UST. And our heroine and sorcerer. And narrate just with the right hint of sarcasm -or my kind of sarcasm, anyway :P, because I've found that sometimes it's rather annoying- and refreshing originality.
Did I mention I just LOVED this?
Maybe this will send the message then ;)
*Adds to favorites*
| In The Name chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
Oh I absolutely loved this story! What a great, unique idea. Wow. Great job! I really liked how you wrote it with the narrative bits in there. I'm going to read it again now :p Happy holidays.
| between the waves chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
And they lived contrarily ever after.
Hah! Best fairy tale ending ever. You win \o/
| Frogster chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
Aww, I loved this! Loved how you told it in both a not-so-traditional fairy tale format and with various progressive scenes. I can so see Jane as a sorcerer-the idea of him with a sorcerer's pointed hat is just hilarious. And yes, his most effective and dangerous spell is that dazzling smile. :D
Loved how Lisbon stole his kiss, how she took the bull by the horns like she always does. Love her concern for Jane and how things always seem to escalate into a shouting match between them.
I, for one, am glad that Lisbon distracted Jane. And it's partly his fault, too, if it's anyone's fault at all, because he payed attention. Distraction is a two-way street; there's always two or more people involved, and each side is culpable.
I love your characterization of both Lisbon and Jane in this. Love the idea of Jane as a "wayward sorcerer" and Lisbon as the unconventional heroine.
Love how Jane always seems to interfere with Lisbon's love life. I'd love to see him running off potential suitors with a shotgun.
I'm intrigued by the idea of another distraught husband getting to Red John first. It seems like a completely viable option. Plus, it keeps Jane from doing the unthinkable. And Lisbon doesn't have to do more paperwork, and she doesn't have to continuously worry about his plans for revenge.
Love how he came back, demanding restitution and help with his second goal. :D Was it to get with her, I guess? Love how he's asking for all her kisses. :D That's so sweet.
And absolutely love the end line-"contrarily ever after." Perfect capsule of their relationship. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Fantastic job! Write more soon!
| Dubbers chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
Absolutely brilliant story. I loved the way you wrapped the fairytale around it; that gave it something a bit more special.
Lovely work, very entertaining and enjoyable.
| mwalter1 chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
| Country2776 chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
wow just wow loved it
| boutondor chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
I think this is the best story you've ever written. Loved it. I'm at a loss for words.
1) The fairytale narrative is just plain awesome. So original, yet simple and perfect. I loved how you described Lisbon and Jane in the fairytale bits.
2) Jane as sorcerer - YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES!
3) Lisbon stealing a kiss was just awesome. The whole kissing thing was absolutely fantastic.
4) Loved the two goal dilemma thing. Awesome way of dealing the whole Red John vs. Lisbon thing.
5) That was a really fantastic RJ resolution. I get so bored with them now; they all seems to be the same. This one was fantastic.
6) How you described Lisbon liking the praise. Perfectly in character.
7) "How many?" "All of them." - SQUEEEEE x 1000! LOVED, LOVED, LOVED THAT!
Okay, I've so gone to J/L heaven with this fic :)
| Polly83 chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
I loved this story very much. It's poetic and (kind of) sweet and so very in character. I don't know if I like more the way you write or how you manage to find ways, prompts, to make every story unique. The fairy tale point of view was really the icing on the cake. It makes the story perfect. D
| Heather chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
Nice Christmas Present!
| Donnamour1969 chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
I have to admit, I was skeptical when this started out using the fairy tale angle, but I was quickly won over. It really works! The story was great, well-written, realistic dialogue. The best part was the twist at the end. I totally see Jane reacting this way, blaming Lisbon. I mean, what a let-down if someone else killed Red John. Loved the metaphor of the stolen kiss meaning so many things. Great job. Congratulations!
| fan of mentalist chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
love your style "once upon a time", it gives a touch of magical to a simple story.