Reviews for Ah yes, Old St Nick We've Dismissed that Claim
Gefionne chapter 10 . 4/5/2011
I laughed and laughed and laughed. Shepard as a frat boyWIN! I also love the way you did Oriana. I honestly couldn't have cared less about Miranda in the actual game, but her sister has a lot of potential in the fic-verse, as you just proved. Thanks for making my April a little more festive.
112358132134 chapter 10 . 1/21/2011
"No. It's C-Sec property. They probably need it to torture people next year or something."

"Ladies love 'em jingle-balls."

Kolyat missing the meaning of the asari's "girls"

"A crap shot, but still a good kid."

Carolling and melted hot chocolates.

This story. Seriously. Amusing and sweet. I perhaps should be ashamed that I'm giggling in my cube rather than doing anything productive, but it's a Friday and this was so worth it! The premise, the silliness, the good-natured misappropriation of human Christmas imagery, the very teen-aged feel that both Oriana and Kolyat have, it's all been so much fun. Thank you for writing this! (And I do apologise for spamming your inbox on my love-spree.)
112358132134 chapter 9 . 1/21/2011
Is it just me, or did Miranda totally stop the other bids from going through so that her sister's would be the winning bid? If so: BRILLIANT. I love what you've done with her this entire story.
112358132134 chapter 8 . 1/21/2011
Firstly, a holiday outfit can never have too many pompoms. Secondly, gift-boxed salarian is a smart cookie. I'd like him to do my taxes as well. Thirdly, poor Kolyat! To not see his father and probably not have wanted or expected to see him until he saw Shepard. (ToT) At least he gets the pleasant surprise of the human he had convinced to purchase a ticket earlier showing up. A nice mid-range note ending. :D
112358132134 chapter 7 . 1/21/2011
I can't believe that Shepard's being denied his one true love! How could the forces of the universe conspire to tear them apart? The bartender is obviously a prude. Shepard knows how to treat his champagne right!

The one standing by the wooden hut with the glowing winged babies painted inside. And I gotta say, Shepard, that's a little gaudy even for me."

Liara's eyes aren't funky - she's actually giving everyone the stink eye! And she's everywhere, like a totally-willing-to-threaten-an-asari-commando-unit-upon-one's-postier-whilst-still-appearing-benelovent Big Brother! lovelovelovelovelove.

Although perhaps not as much as I loved the tale of the great Santa Reaper.
112358132134 chapter 6 . 1/21/2011
One would assume that Santa Bailey had already hit the open bar, given that he was able to withstand Udina verbiage.

Giftbox salarian (with a bow!). I wish that I could draw.

And now I've been schooled: Plants from the ceiling are mistletoe. In hindsight it was obvious, but it flew over my head like reindeer only needing one pair of antlers flew over Celsus' (not a custom back home).
112358132134 chapter 5 . 1/21/2011
The interaction between Miranda and Oriana is full of sisterly adorability, from Oriana's instinctual suppositions of Miranda's having her firearm to Miranda's unabashed pride of such. Miranda's not wanting to go by Oriana's following the shindig is interesting, but not unsurprising given her hesitation to even meet her sister and her adopted family before. Is she uncomfortable because they're Oriana's family? Because they've given Oriana the loving and supportive family she never had? Because it was her machinations that brought them their daughter? And what does Oriana have planned for the gentleman (aside from getting him to tell her his race) indeed!
112358132134 chapter 4 . 1/20/2011
I don't know which mental image is the funnier:

* A turian cop (likely bad-assed at that) wearing three (pairs of?) felt reindeer antlers

* A krogan eating mistletoe and likely commenting on its awful taste

* "Blitzen" being a taboo word due to its similarly to "Blitz", leaving Haron to be just some poor guy with a red ball on his nose

* Shepard's true love being an open bar.

I'm pretty sure that it's the latter. Rolling.
112358132134 chapter 3 . 1/20/2011
I love that Kasumi just walks out saying, "hi, I'm going to go out robbing from the rich (to give to myself)", and no-one bats an eye. I didn't get the "plants hanging from the ceiling" though - some kind of slang or reference?
112358132134 chapter 2 . 1/20/2011
I finally got back to reading this, because I am lazy and forgot to bookmark it. How are people not rolling in the tubes over it? It is lulztastic.

"You aren't going to try to dance with me are you, Garrus?" "Me? Heh, no. You only wish. That gardener on the presidium was right; turians really don't dance." "Not even with quarians? Because I saw an ad for this one vid-"

Dead, I tell you. DEAD. I too hope that Mordin sends them educational material. (EPIC.)
112358132134 chapter 1 . 12/25/2010
First reviewer must be crazy, as the two main characters are in the game for moments only, with one's personality existing only through second-hand info from her sister, an email, and a chat transcript. Bah.

There're so many uproariously funny bits in this and I'm only through the first part. "Didn't see any ears", "whatever articles uncool parents looked at on the extranet", a menorah and a hockey puck, "I'm fantastic", the potential euphamisms involving horses, "space doorbell" - I'm a ball of giggles just remembering them. Looking forward to reading the rest.
Guest chapter 1 . 12/24/2010
I don't know what that first reviewer is smoking, but I think this story is smoking. Smoking hot I mean. Characterization is spot on for me. Story added to my watches CANT WAIT FOR MORE
Guest chapter 5 . 12/23/2010
I'm sorry, but the characterisations just don't fit.