|Reviews for Come What May|
| jaclynkaileigh chapter 1 . 9/3/2012
i liked it, i am so torn between these two i can never decide..i think i like ryoki so i wonder what else could've happened in this had she talked to him after..would there have been some line of reasoning?
| cslinguist chapter 1 . 5/7/2011
Grammatically and such it was perfect.
To be honest, it definitely was a bit rushed. I think it could be a great story if you expanded it a bit. For instance, when Hatsumi talks about the "feelings rushing back," it would help to go more in depth because in the manga Hatsumi has nothing but sisterly feelings for Shinogu. So, since you are deviating from the source you should go into detail and explain when and how her feelings changed for him. Also, the dialogue and such also feels rushed so it feels kind of stiff, which makes it hard to believe that they're saying that.
You definitely have the potential to be a great writer. You seem to have a lot of good story ideas. I think your main issue is you don't add enough detail to the story to make it feel more realistic and just add more depth in general.
| shadowwolf1345 chapter 1 . 2/21/2011
Hey, this was a great story! I really liked it! I just discovered Hot Gimmick recently and fell in love with it. I'm a huge HatsumixShinogu fan, but there aren't a lot of stories for them. :(
I liked the writing style, and I couldn't find many grammatical errors (if there are any). Keep writing!
| sarahlosolla chapter 1 . 12/30/2010
I really like your story, please write others, noone hardly ever posts for hot gimmick anymore, as well as for the other series I like, MARS, but im working on a story for each :) overall yes the story was rushed but it flows very" well, nothing was clipped as if missing information, you did great! Hope to read more!
| blueberrymuffinsandtea chapter 1 . 12/23/2010
Well, I've never even heard of Hot Gimmick...
But I'll try to do my best and be a constructive criticizer(.. That's looks funny, dunno if I spelled it right) and I'll be a more or less clueless idiotic fangirl :'D
Anyways- To me it seemed that the story was very well written, and I don't think I saw any mistakes... I do tend to skip over them and don't ever see them, though :'D
Although it did seem a tad bit fast paced, I think it did help the whole 'the days were a blur' thing... Iono, that's my thinking anyways. Plus I'm not exactly perfect at pacing my stories, so those come out rushed also )_);
But I really liked the ending :DD It was sweet. And I'm a fluff lover, so... xD
The whole key to my heart quote may have been cheesy... But cheesy can be cute sometimes xDD
Haha, so anyways~ good story :]
Merry Christmas to you~ and happy new year, etc. Hope your ankle feels better (: