Reviews for Monday, Monday
Allie1921 chapter 1 . 1/2/2011
Thanks for the story, I really enjoyed it!
Effie17 chapter 1 . 12/29/2010
I loved this story. Loved the hurt Danny. Very well written. You should write for the show. Thank you.
ZhaLenn chapter 1 . 12/28/2010
Loved this alternate ending of the episode. Looking forward for your next story...
302pilot chapter 1 . 12/28/2010
"...any hint of mayhem..." Ha! These two thrive on mayhem! Loved your story-loved seeing that under the 'Steve the SEAL' exterior is someone who deeply cares about the people he works with. And Danny whump is always welcome! Please do write more-thanks for sharing!

CB
Max and Dakota chapter 1 . 12/28/2010
Nicely done. I totally wish the orignal eppy had ended this way! You have Danny and Steve's characters pegged from the beginning. I always felt like Danny should have been downstairs with Steve rather than upstairs with Chin, but you having him take a bullet when he opened the door, well that made my day!

Side rant:I have to wonder if things are go to change considering they are getting ready to add to new regular cast member to the show. Another SEAL buddy who took a bullet for Steve. I'm very anxious to see how the writers will have Danny react to that...
BlueEyes444 chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
Man, I do love your fics. :D
all done chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
Very good story! Danny needed whumped! Poor knee.. kind of curtailed any action for awhile.

Thanks for providing us with the necessary whump.. and good dialogue.
moonjat54 chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
I liked this a lot. Poor Danny, he always ends up hurting but he is right...it is Nick's fault. Glad they live to fight another day. You caught their voices perfectly. Loved the suggestion that Steve was the Lone Ranger at least one Halloween.
norriski chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
I LOVE this ending! I don't always like the AU endings... but I could SO see this being the ending instead of the one we got.
Sotobow chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
Oh my gosh, as soon as I read the description I was like, "Oh no!" and "I HAVE to read that!" Lol!

I'm so glad someone tackled this! And I was actually thinking while watching that episode that if the seal guy had actually put a bullet in Danny, Steve wouldn't take it well (to put it lightly).

I also like that you included Chin's attachment to Danny, too. Jeez, Danny has great stage chemistry with EVERYONE. You did a great job of showing that. :D

The "Always" line was great, as was Steve's reaction (sad, but well done, that is). And of course Danny knowing that Steve's making a face. Haha!

Great story! If you write more, I'll so read them! :)
PurpleNurples chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
Ahhh! I loved this soooo much! The banter, the emotions, the AU. You're good! haha. It's writers like you that I get jealous of because I would never be able to come up with such detailed stories like this-and that's something I've been attempting to do for years! Still trying but it'd be no match to stories like these, haha.

Great work!
kataz chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
Fantastic job as usual, I'm so glad Danny was wearing the vest lol, can't wait to read your next one!
VioletHawk chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
The dialgoue adds to the great scenes in that episode :)
akaStoryteller chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
Very nice addition to that episode. I do so love the banter.
sym64 chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
Well I'm sorry but I'm going to rant a little bit. And I'm sorry it is you (or your story for that matter) that will get the brunt of it. I apologize for that in advance.

I do not want to belittle your writing in any way and let me tell you that I really like your writing-style. There is nothing to complain about that. And it's great that you choose this episode for a story, be course you're right it really calls for whumpage big time.

But, and that is a big but, I'm getting a bit annoyed about all the stories about Steve the loose cannon. Going in guns blazing and thinking about it later. I'm sorry but that is so very wrong.

Did you and all the other authors out there bother to read the creed of the SEALs? The most important part of it is that a SEAL puts the welfare and security of others above their own. That they will protect their teammates at all costs and accomplish the mission.

There is no way in hell that McGarrett would put one of his teammates in danger. And the biggest flaw in this story is that you said that they were not wearing their vests while in the convoy.

They were doing it on the show right from the beginning at the airfield. They were wearing not their normal ones but their vests under the shirt. If you look closely you can see that they are there, they look different then their normal ones.

But that doesn't even matter, be course the first order of business for any SEAL is safety. There is just no way that McGarrett or any other member of the team was not protected.

I'm sorry but I can't overlook this, be course it is a big part of your story. You made McGarrett look like a moron in his decisions and Danny the hero. That is just not the case.

This in particular is what I'm talking about. This almost made me stop reading, I was really getting mad, be course this is so out of character for any Officer of Law-Enforcement or SEAL or whatever.

...“Then Danny stirs with a groan and Steve's moving, kneeling next to his partner to assess the damage. "Easy, Danny, just take it easy," he orders, ripping the Velcro holding Danny's Kevlar vest in place — the vest that's only there because Danny insisted that everyone on the team should wear one after the initial gunfight with Taylor on the road. Steve hadn't even thought of it until Danny mentioned it; hell, if he had been considering his team's safety before, he would have made sure they were all wearing Kevlar from the moment they picked up Pak at the landing strip. Instead, he'd let his guard down because he'd assumed they were safe, that Taylor had them covered.”...

The “Steve hadn't even thought of it until Danny mentioned it; hell, if he had been considering his team's safety before” I'm sorry but I laughed out load, that is just too ridiculous.

And McGarrett going on a guilt trip during a mission? That wouldn't happen either.

..."Hey."

Steve blinks, then blinks again when he sees Danny's standing right in front of him. "Worry about the could-have-beens later," Danny says, his voice firm but not angry. "What's the plan now?"...

Sorry, but McGarrett wouldn't zone out like that and needed Danny to get him back into the game. That is just so wrong.

I get it, it's your story and your freedom to do with the characters whatever you like. That is all fine. But you're not just writing about any character, your writing about a SEAL and there are facts you just can't ignore. Well at least in my opinion.

I really enjoy reading all the stories and have to say I would never be able to do what you are doing. I wouldn't have the patience to write and I would probably lack the courage to publish it. Be course there could always be a moron like me out there who is picking at my story. I hope you understand that I mean no offense by my criticism. Please don't take any.

BTW for anyone who might be interested, here is the Creed of the SEALs:

In times of war or uncertainty there is a special breed of warrior ready to answer our Nation’s call. A common man with uncommon desire to succeed. Forged by adversity, he stands alongside America’s finest special operations forces to serve his country, the American people, and protect their way of life. I am that man.

My Trident is a symbol of honor and heritage. Bestowed upon me by the heroes that have gone before, it embodies the trust of those I have sworn to protect. By wearing the Trident I accept the responsibility of my chosen profession and way of life. It is a privilege that I must earn every day.

My loyalty to Country and Team is beyond reproach. I humbly serve as a guardian to my fellow Americans always ready to defend those who are unable to defend themselves. I do not advertise the nature of my work, nor seek recognition for my actions. I voluntarily accept the inherent hazards of my profession, placing the welfare and security of others before my own.

I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from other men. Uncompromising integrity is my standard. My character and honor are steadfast. My word is my bond.

We expect to lead and be led. In the absence of orders I will take charge, lead my teammates and accomplish the mission. I lead by example in all situations.

I will never quit. I persevere and thrive on adversity. My Nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down, I will get back up, every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight.

We demand discipline. We expect innovation. The lives of my teammates and the success of our mission depend on me - my technical skill, tactical proficiency, and attention to detail. My training is never complete.

We train for war and fight to win. I stand ready to bring the full spectrum of combat power to bear in order to achieve my mission and the goals established by my country. The execution of my duties will be swift and violent when required yet guided by the very principles that I serve to defend.

Brave men have fought and died building the proud tradition and feared reputation that I am bound to uphold. In the worst of conditions, the legacy of my teammates steadies my resolve and silently guides my every deed. I will not fail.
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