|Reviews for RR06 Martian Waters|
| FrenzyforEric chapter 7 . 7/20/2012
The growth of the characters is amazing! Loved this one too! You are a very good writer. Ps i totally agree with you about the children of earth thing
| Dragongirl140 chapter 6 . 3/15/2012
Wow. Just wow. This series is just absolutely amazing. Seriously, words are failing me. Anyway, I just love well everything, but especially John. He's my favorite out of all of them. Completely adore him. Though my favorite part of this story is definitely the whole farting a tuba bit. Actually had to stop reading for a minute, I was laughing so hard. I have yet to read Four Five Six and Shattered but am really looking forward to reading Shattered. Though am slightly dreading it at the same time. I think if John regenerates I might cry. Especially if he regenerates into Eleven and loses his Donna temper. That would be devastating.
| seekerchasing chapter 6 . 9/10/2011
this story was sad, except for the last chapter which had me laughing! i love the TARDIS's "voice" in this story, you write it so well. "Love, respect and admiration" - just brilliant
and Jackie's at the wedding?
| Kiyoko Usagi chapter 3 . 4/13/2011
I really like this plot and your alternate universe. I'm a bit late on your work, but you are the first fanfiction writer on Doctor Who I've read and I'm quite impressed. I'm in my novel writing class right now, so I'm going to give you a lil critique.
I have a lot of trouble with your dialogue, not the "actual" dialogue, but how it's executed. Paragraphs are single thoughts just like essays have pieces, so do paragraphs. While I don't think you have any characters speaking on top of each other in paragraphs, you have a lot of action from more than one character in a dialogue paragraph, which is confusing, and then I go "wait who is talking?"
Each time your POV changes, make a new paragraph. Each paragraph should have a specific character that we are currently "inside" if you get it.
I know this is a complete piece, but this is for you regardless. You have a lot of great lines. The tuba bit is priceless, I started laughing and we're doing critiques, so I got strange looks.
I look forward to reading the next pieces and more from you.
| Kiyoko Usagi chapter 2 . 4/13/2011
John is my favorite character...is that weird? 0.o
| My Beautiful Ending chapter 1 . 4/9/2011
And... YES! XD altogether, this was super cute now that i can compare it to the episode. I think it came out quite well. In the episode i was all like, SAY WHAT? when the doctor wanted to change the timeline because he was the 'timelord victorious' i was just like WHO IN THE WORLD CAME UP WITH THAT? And I liked how you made Adelade and Ed like each other. in the episode i sort of felt a tiny hidden undercurrent of that but then it never was resolved or anything and then they died and it was just like THAT WAS A HORRIBLE ENDING WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? at the writers.
so, quite a good job, fell in love with the tuba bit all over again, I'm afraid i haven't watched torchwood so i can't give you a fab review of four five six, but... I have to say, I'm SUPER DUPER EXTRA EXCITED for the End of Time. I was all like THE MASTER BACK YES YES YES YES YES! (why is he so attractive? or is that just me?) And if it doesn't mess with your idea of the story too much, because of course you're writing it and you're the best boss of it, I'd like there to be a time where they just sit the master down and he's like WHO THE 'ELL IS EVERYBODY? I think that'd be hilarious. and...Rose should definitely go Bad Wolf on somebody. Preferably Rassilon. and I was sad that Lucy died. :( lucy and the master are cute together. XD SO HURRY UP AND FINISH FOUR FIVE SIX because I NEED THE END OF TIME! love you great job write faster and more, hope everything with your apartment has gotten cleared up and that you're feeling fine, and ALLONS-Y!
| ValaEnVash chapter 6 . 3/26/2011
I have to say I love this storyline. Well, all of them really. But the last part of this chapter where the TARDIS gave the message to Jackie had me crying. That was lovely. Well done and good job! Keep it up!
| virginiagirl101 chapter 6 . 2/6/2011
Oh, yay another chapter :). We get to see the Tylers' again!
I love that Tony is loving the story, while Jackie is freaking out and Pete is calling the president to help prevent this from happening. It shows little bits of their personality well.
Pete is very sensible about Jenny's birth. I like that :).
Jackie, life with The Doctor involved is always confusing. I'm glad she's proud of Jenny :).
Ok, so it's been four years since then. And Pete and Jackie's minds did go right to the gutter ;).
If it's that hard for Jackie, I can't imagine how hard it is for John to relive. And I love how the Tylers' are on the edge of their seats for the library. It kind of reminds me of radio dramas.
I'm glad John at least told them about how they found Jenny. Was this due to the fact that reliving it is still hard for the other three?
Yay, TARDIS message :D.
Oh, so the TARDIS had no idea about Rose until she opened her heart? That's interesting. Is the identity of their bonded's spouse the one thing TARDIS' can't see in their future time line, or is it only the case for The Doctor's TARDIS?
Jackie's going to be at the wedding? Yay!
And stop crying for Donna, hmm.
Yes, I agree with Jackie in response to THAT.
Now you have me excited.
| virginiagirl101 chapter 5 . 2/6/2011
Aw, they kissed. Am still curious about their relationship :).
And they start to leave. Is 10 angry at John for telling them the truth, or is he trying to share some of the burden? And there goes John's mouth again. Are you sure Mouth isn't his nick name because he swears a lot?
Oh, so 10's mad because he told them. Is this just him being irrational, or is there a reason for that?
Poor 10. I'm glad John and Rose are holding him back though. This just proves that 10 really needs someone to stop him.
I'm impressed john held out as long as he did.
Does Adelaide never forgiving Ed have to do with their relationship?
So they psychically feel each others' pain? cool.
Rose is really lucky she has a respiratory bypass.
Rose getting hurt is sort of a good thing, since it's completely distracted 10 and John from what's going on and is giving them much more incentive to get out of there.
John not wanting to cause the TARDIS pain is very sweet.
Poor 10. It's really not his fault, any of it, but his martyr complex is so high, I doubt he'd know what to do without it. And yay Jenny for flying the TARDIS so well :D.
Yay for passing on their message. and I love that she laughs about it, instead of agonizing over getting it back.
I loved this fic, it was much better than the episode. :D
| virginiagirl101 chapter 4 . 2/6/2011
John's smart for figuring that out. The water is obviously safe, considering the fact that it's possessed three of your crew! stupid, stupid, stupid.
Haha, did John pout after 10 told him to stop? Because I can totally see him doing that.
Poor Andy. He was the only one I really felt sorry for in this. All he wanted was a piece of earth.
That video really wasn't colorful, per say. And the government is stupid for sending up filters that didn't fit. Idiots.
It always starts small, and then quickly gets huge.
Poor Roman, wanting to stay behind. Oh, well.
Yeah, it's probably smart for them to have their suits before leaving. Oh,John is going to be the one to tell them? And he tells Adelaide AND Ed. Is this for a specific reason, or just because they were both there?
I love how 10 wants to tell him, but John's doing it to protect him. He needs to start realizing that he can share the burden. John's as protective of 10 as 10 is of John.
Oh, so he's going to tell them mentally. And that trip sounds very long.
Yeah, don't worry, guys, he only messes with 10's mind. Oh yeah, there was Christina too, but she doesn't really count.
Oh, do Ed and Adelaide share a history? If their involved and pretending not to be, Ed just gave it up.
Haha, they knew all along they were time travelers, but didn't want to believe it :D. These people really are idiots, aren't they?
Haha, as John pointed out, he's in their head. And he just wants and excuse to yell at 10 :p.
It must be so hard knowing that they can't save him. However, it must be a comfort for Ed and Adelaide to know that their deaths spark Earth's space exploration.
Oh, they did have a relationship! What exactly is it,out of curiosity?
Oh, I always thought that 10 idolized Adelaide, not Suzie. Hm...
Am enjoying this, onto read more.
| virginiagirl101 chapter 3 . 2/6/2011
Good morining :). How's everything going with the water leakage thingy?
Haha, Rose :D. I can imagine that being 10's wife is very fun ;). Haha, running. Jenny has always had a slight obsession with it, hasn't she? Aw, being able to have a full name besides Jenny must still be a novelty.
Oh, yay, their going to try and stop him :).
Oh, 10,their all out to get you :).
haha,shame on John for revealing their nonhumanity! :D. I love 10's reaction to this.
Jenny's martial arts skills are incredible. Very smooth in the disarming department. Haha, Rose scolding Jenny for her language is too funny. And I love the consistency with John's language skills. Haha "farts a tuba out of his arse." And I feel for John not being able to laugh.
Their aliens, Captain Brooke, it isn't that hard to believe.
Haha, 10's not knowing how to react is incredible! Of course he'd fixate on that statement. John has considerable more control over his laughter than I do. And Rose turning into Jackie awesome.
No, you wouldn't know it to look at you, because Galifreyans came first :p.
And it's started! I love how 10 respects John enough to listen to him about not staying.
No John, don't go! I really feel for 10 in this. I think his heart breaks a little more every time he can't save everybody. And Jenny, 10, and Rose have yet again ended up in jail. I think one of The Doctor's companions needs to write "a companions guide to the universes nicest brigs."
No, Yuri, this only happens on every four out of six planets they visit. And I love Jenny reminiscing back to the day of her birth. I really hope she doesn't have to employ the break out method she used there!
Yes, Jenny was born very old. Yuri and Ed need to work on their acting skills.
Haha, 10's shock is amusing. When, exactly, has John ever followed the rules. And yes, this is very much extenuating circumstances.
Haha, the bike rant was my favorite part of WOM. I'm glad that you included it here :D.
Oh, so their not going to try to escape. That's very smart of 10, he must be thinking clearer. Oh,and 10 is getting worried.
Ok, their leaving and getting back to relative safety. Good.
I love how they don't believe that he's speaking ancient martian, and yet their friend is being possessed.
Hahahahaha. Elvis made my day :D. So, judging by Ed's reaction, Elvis is still very big in this time period.
yes, bikes DEFINITELY were needed! I love the telepathic/internal comms thing. If they won't believe the truth, tell them a lie that they will.
Yes, they could have gotten out at any time. They just didn't particularly WANT to.
John really has a bike fixation, doesn't he?
The coolest part about this episode was the whole 'water as a weapon' thing.
The tuba part was hilarious, have no fear :). And muses best slightly insane when writing Doctor Who fic.
I am enjoying this very much, and a lot more than I did the eppy. :D
| virginiagirl101 chapter 2 . 2/5/2011
Before I say anything, I'd like to thank you for explaining John's library plan to me. It was genius.
Warning: read at your own risk.
Oh, of course they've stopped for bananas, it's just so typical. And Time ticking away in your head is just ugh to me. It's fairly disturbing.
Ah ha! So she HAS tried to keep the bananas away, but failed. It's ok, Rose, bananas everywhere thank you. (In case you can't tell, I'm not only sleep deprived but sugar high. So this might be a little incoherent.) Moving on from the bananas.
Their all adrenaline junkies, and I'm sure the others have been missing the adventures as much as you. (Except, possibly Jenny who has never been on a bonafide TARDIS adventure before.)
And here 10 was thinking it was something important. Don't feel ashamed Rose, you're talking to the guy who'd rather die than have a home with windows and carpets. (wait, does this mean the TARDIS doesn't have carpets? Because that would suck.)
A field trip IS a good idea. And 10's a bloody idiotic moron for laughing about the whole clock thing.
Aw, 10 searching for reassurance on her love and Rose giving it to him in spite of his being the aforementioned idiot.
Good, finally we're getting some sympathy.
Haha, kitchen timer, burn the potatoes. I'm sure that it not only was 10's fault, but that they both enjoyed it ;). However, I'm not sure they should tell John and Jenny about this, considering the fact that they might swear off eating on said table for life.
Aw, poor Jenny and Rose. It's always us girls. I love how you use the phrase internal clock, as it reminds me of the biological clock all girls have. Do you think this in part is why they suddenly became so time sensitive :)?
And 10 and Rose always seem to be interrupted these days.
Oh, I never would have thought of using River's suit. And it's a shame that they used the Krop Tor suits for this eppy, because those two would have to be my fave episodes of season 2.
Hm, I never thought the TARDIS could make things. It make sense, though :).
Haha, I love how Rose cottons onto the fact that he's been making her go shopping all this time. I suspect it also might have to do with the fact that deep down 10 really does enjoy shopping. (Random thought: does John now enjoy clothes shopping due to the extra burst from Donna?) Oh yum, cake.
Re: the live experiments. Ew. just ew.
Haha, so 10 is keeping it a surprise from everyone!
David Tennant in that suit yum.
Is this the first time Rose has been on a different gravity planet?
Rose, Americans have the same problem when dealing with translating British phrases. Luckily, we catch on after a while :D.
The history of Mars travel in the show just depresses me.
And poor John, thinking of Donna. That was one of the funniest parts of Runaway Bride. John's missing Donna is very real. They never really did do anything to deal with the loss, did they? I guess their both just good at burying it. However, 10 is back to being thick in this scene.
yay for Jenny comforting John.
Stay away from the base. Stay far away.
Ah, Rose, always asking the right questions.
10 does have a bit of fan boy love for humanity going on, lol. And Rose is VERY lucky that he loves humanity so much.
John speaks words of wisdom.
Heehee, whenever gadget gadget came onscreen, I got the Inspector Gadget theme stuck in my head.
Aw, poor Rose. She needs to work on her gadgetry skills.
sigh, and it begins.
Very good so far :D.
| virginiagirl101 chapter 1 . 2/5/2011
Ok, so before I start reading this, I'm going to do the mandatory WOM rant. Feel free to completely ignore this and just get onto the review :).
This is one special I can't stand, mainly because I view it as being completely unnecessary. Basically, they made it to show that 10 was insane, and were in part using it as an excuse as to why he needed to regenerate, which they really didn't need to do. Yes, I was upset when I found out 10 would be no more. This episode, however, did not make it any easier, and kind of ruined 10 for me.
Ok, rant over, onto the story!
So do the four time lords on board help with the additon of the energy, or was it because they really haven't been up to much lately due to the teaching of Jenny and Rose?
Wait, she's been having protein shakes and four square meals a day? I'm jealous :(.
Yes, Jenny gets some of her stubbornness from 10, but I'm inclined to think that this trait is split 50/50 across her genes :).
It's interesting that Rose would have problems picking up martial arts. Is this because of the fact that she hasn't had any training before, or are there other reasons?
Ok, so if John's been painting this whole time, how does River not know about his talent? You'd think he'd be proud and pleased to finally be able to show off his mad painting skillz.
Oh, what's Jenny up to? And poor 10 and Rose, always getting interrupted when "cuddling" ;).
Wow, it sounds like she's been doing a lot of work. I am forever in awe, because I hate math.
Haha, has Rose been making up for lost time with Jenny a lot? And Jenny's reaction is SUCH a teenagerish thing to do :). I love how they ended up laughing about it, it show that the relationship between them is a good, healthy one.
Oh, so 10 really was trying to get back to Rose the whole time she was gone :). Jenny must really be smart if she needs only a few hours what her dad couldn't do in years.
Lol, I love how proud 10 is, and how it caused John to mess up his painting. I can just imagine him stomping down the corridors to see what's going on.
Yay, Jenny cracked void math! I love that 10 sends those particular images over to Rose. I don't know why, but it seems very intimate to me. I can't imagine him ever taking anyone else into those rooms.
Ah, Pete, I do feel for him. Action is much more exciting than paperwork.
Haha, Jackie has an Ipad :D. I don't know why this makes me smile so much. How long after BWB2 is this for them?
Oh, Pete's house is HIGH TECH. Answering a call just by saying answer? I want one!
Jackie's reaction broke my heart. It must have been really hard for her to have to give up her daughter :(.
Oh, wow, the original universe people have a lot of bad luck when it comes to saying 'I love you', don't they? Haha, Tony being afraid of waking Pete up was priceless.
Smart, Tony: coffee always does it. Pete's quick drinking coffee skills are slightly awe inspiring. How hot was it, again?
10 really needs to learn the meaning of the word 'subtlety'. He could have given Jackie a heart attack! And Pete's right, that was probably the most unsurprising thing about the whole video. I love how Jackie's not mad, but just upset she wasn't at the wedding. Even though I'm pretty sure she didn't want to be at this one ;).
Good for Rose! 10 really deserved that one! (this is why I have a hard time believing River felt guilty about hitting ten. He's an idiot, but I love him.)
Haha, they really can't stop talking, can they? Do they ever get into arguments because the other 'won't ever shut up?' that would be very amusing, and might cause me to want to hit them.
Rose breaking it to Jackie must be very hard. And I can't imagine how Jackie's taking it. I imagine she must have felt guilty for those words ever since they left her mouth.
Haha, Pete has mass skills of detection!
Off to a VERY good start :).
| anemix chapter 6 . 1/30/2011
I really liked this story, even with it being really similar to canon. I think the way you presented it to include the message to Pete's World as part of the transmition was a great strategy to make it more interesting. You've gotten better at writing throughout this series, and I hope that you continue!
( . .)
| Ayjah chapter 6 . 1/18/2011
Love the message from TARDIS.