Reviews for I'm Here
7Annabelle43 chapter 1 . 11/18/2012
It's enjoyable, except for the fact it's not K.
Strawberri009 chapter 1 . 4/26/2011
Yo! it's jia.


though i think the rating should be T because it implied a little of rape.

i like it. :D
KaliMo Co chapter 1 . 3/20/2011
I wish there was more to it. you should write another chapter for it
Wednesday Wildheart chapter 1 . 1/2/2011

You: A girl with troubled ran with tears sliding on her cheeks.

Correct: A troubled girl or pwede ding A girl with troubled face/feelings...

You: ...on her waists

Correct: ...on her waist

You: alley covered with darkness and pitch silence.

Correct: alley engulfed by darkness and deafening silence.

Note: "pitch" is usually used as an adjective for black or darkness

You: One thing she knows, he's trouble.

Correct: One thing she knows, he's troubled/One thing she knows, she's in deep trouble.

You: "Hey Kana, give us a turn"

Correct: "Hey Kana, give us a turn!"

You: discovered that it was, 'blood…'

Correct: discovered that it was blood(italicized).

You: "Don't even dare to lay a hand on her…"

Correct: Do not use ellipsis (...) Pag ginamit mo yun, ibig sabihin may kasunod pa yung sentence na yun. You may use a an exclamation point (!) in that particular sentence because after nun ay 'he muttered darkly' so dapat my threat.

You: "look, I'm sorry-…".

Correct: Do not use a period or comma after a dialog.

You: "It's okay. It's all okay, now, Tokine…

I'm here…"

Correct: "It's okay. It's all okay, now, Tokine…" This is the correct use of ellipsis kasi may kasunod pa siya eh.

"I'm here."

This story is so sweet for its own good. I love the way Yoshimori fought for his girl. If I'm a critic I'd give you a 3/5. There's a lot more room for improvement for you, twin. If you're not sure with your grammar, you might as well proof-read it or ask a beta-reader to help you. That's all. :) there, nabigay ko na ah.
Full Worm Garden chapter 1 . 12/29/2010
That was...interesting. What a wonderful turn around. Great story! I really enjoyed it.