|Reviews for A Stranger at Hogwarts|
| CelestiaNight chapter 15 . 11/8/2013
Okay, Sweetheart. I only have a few things to say... First off, I LOVE this entire piece. It is amazing. Next, if there isn't more, I will most definitely cry for hours on end. Lastly, Hermione makes a brilliant whore. Please keep that in there. Ron really does deserve a guy as amazing as Blaise.
So, that's pretty much it, but please, please, let there be more. We have to know what happens on that trip to America. It is bound to be the turning point for Ron and Blaise, even Hermione. Draco and Harry are going to be brilliant. I must say, the way you work with them is incredible. Thank you for allowing the public to view your work.
| tanadhari chapter 1 . 1/19/2013
Great beginning, I think I've read this before, but I don't remember. I can't wait to continue
| lilgenious chapter 1 . 9/26/2012
Your OC is a Mary Sue, there is no other name to call her other than that.
Alright, so first, you have her as the daughter of a canon character. Regulus Black to be exact... I'd like to think that if Regulus had sex with anybody before he died, it would have been with somebody he loved or else was known to the Black family. Voldemort is extremely out of character if you think he would force a woman and man to marry if they were pureblooded and in all honesty the term "harem" comes to mind whenever I read that scene. Voldemort had other matters to deal with such as making his horcruxes and trying to find a way to defeat death as he was terrified to die. He wouldn't have had the time or made much of an effort in forcing a woman into a pureblooded marriage and usually those that served for him were purebloods and grew up in the tradition of marrying into other pureblooded families.
Secondly, you have her mother be so "delicate that she couldn't care for herself" not only is that impossible as she would have been taking care of herself thus far unless she was in St. Mungos and had been cursed to the point that they couldn't help her- I would like to come out and say that being small and delicate does not make a woman incapable of carrying a child or even taking care of herself and that child.
Thirdly and this is what really puts her higher up in the scale of being a Sue is the fact that you have her more powerful than the other characters. She even has to go to a special school to get more powerful and if that isn't enough, she needs to go to Hogwarts for her own protection... or was it her friend's protection? When Narcissa or Draco questioned their neice/cousin about how come her powers couldn't protect her friend that was when I truly lost interest in the story.
While you do have the promise of being a great writer, this story doesn't have the premise of being a very good story and I am not continuing on- I had to stop reading the story because she is such a Sue.
Don't get me wrong, I do see all the hard work that you put into the story but did it maintain my interest throughout with your OC being as powerful and more special than the canon characters? No it did not and it is for this reason that I am pressing the back button.
Your spelling and grammar is good for a story with a Mary Sue but the fact is is that you really need to tone down your OC's so that the canon characters get the limelight and you also need more of a plausible background for both of your OCs in this story. Not just that the one is the daughter of Regulus Black and her mother died because she was "delicate" and what school did she go to? How powerful is she really? What about her friend, who is she? What is her background?
If Ari was a witch, how did she not know that the portraits moved? This story doesn't make much sense and it frustrates me to try to continue and read it. In one final note, you really do need to tone down Devon's character because she is the one who is the Sue here. Do a litmus test if you don't believe me.
I wish you all the best in writing.
| HauntedApple chapter 15 . 9/5/2012
) Yay! another chapter. I like this one.
| DragonKnight1775 chapter 14 . 2/16/2012
I am so gald to see an update! Hope to see more soon. I really like this story.
Ty for your efforts!
| DELETEDFORGOODDDDDD chapter 14 . 2/15/2012
I'm so confused. Are both Harry and Draco female? quite disturbing, I must say. I prefer them to be both male. You kept saying her close to the end of this chapter. First their men then their women, make up your mind.
| HauntedApple chapter 13 . 10/4/2011
I just found this story and i really like it. I feel so bad for Blaise. Hopefully Ron will realize that Blaise is an amazing person
| DragonKnight1775 chapter 13 . 9/26/2011
I really like this story looking forward to future chapters. Oh and I am sure you know but I would like to see Ari training Draco and Harry.
Ty for your efforts!
| littlesprout chapter 11 . 4/27/2011
awesome chapter. can't wait for an update.
| littlesprout chapter 11 . 4/24/2011
Don't know if you realize that chapter 11 is the same as chapter 10?
Hopefully another update soon
| THE mlb chapter 11 . 4/24/2011
FYI chapter 11 is the same as chapter 10. Hope you get it fixed soon I was really looking forward to an update.
| Awesome chapter 10 . 4/3/2011
! Write more! Please!
| littlesprout chapter 10 . 4/2/2011
Absolutely loved it. update soon
| thevalkyries chapter 9 . 3/12/2011
Please continue! Really like how it's 'relaxed' and there's no voldemort really! :)
| littlesprout chapter 9 . 3/11/2011
Only 22 reviews, what is wrong with the readers out there.
this is an awesome story.
loved it. update soon.