|Reviews for Brother|
| Schniedragon88 chapter 1 . 6/8/2014
Innes' characterization was spot on, and I love all the little hints you threw in about the siblings' feelings toward the twins.
I don't see very many fics like this, so for you to do one so well is a breath of fresh air.
And many people don't seem to like Tana, but I'm not as rife with the hate; therefore a good Tana fic is a pleasant change of pace.
Faved for sure!
| Xirysa chapter 1 . 1/6/2011
Ahhhh I'm so late in reviewing this; please don't hate meeeeee.
I love 'fic with siblings, you know that. And the comparison of the dynamic Eirika and Ephraim share versus that Innes and Tana - I liked it very much indeed.
Also, it was nice to see Tana not being wimpy and worthless as most 'fic tries to portray her - she's pretty BA, especially when she's trying to be BA? IDEK.
Uh. Yeah. So my mind's fried and I'm really tired even though I'm very well rested but... Yeah. Sorry for another fail of a review. XD
| Totes MaGotes69 chapter 1 . 1/5/2011
AWWWWW! That's so sweet!:)
| TheTwilightRurouni chapter 1 . 1/4/2011
Oh wow, I feel like I haven't read something from you in at least a year, which is probably my own fault because I'm fairly sure you've posted something in the last six months. This was so nice to read though, I so rarely read FESS pieces that it was a nice departure from the usual. Well, that and you make everything awesome, NOW WITH MORE INNES! Plus, you did something interesting with the dialogue so that I found myself reading it with an English accent. Good diction, whatever it was. It was probably the use of "ever so" "years and years" and the traditional spelling of "favourite."
Anyway, as I was saying, Innes! That gloriously disaffected man! He's what Shinon would be if he had honor and people liked him. You definitely got that part of his character down perfectly, and besides that I could feel the love for Tana he was trying to hide. I think the first line was here, "No, Tana, this is a man's game," Innes says haughtily. "Go back inside, before you get hurt." It's as if he's trying to play off his concern as an afterthought, like, "Oh yeah, and you might get hurt, besides the more important matter of it being a game for MEN." Also, rereading that quote reminds me, nice job with the present tense, it really helped distinguish the flashback from the current situation. Going back to Innes though, I loved the lapdog comparison, mostly because it works! I read that and went back to read it again going, "That is demeaning, but why would Kender choose that...oh wow. Tana DOES look like a fluffy little Pomeranian. Perfect." And then there was the scene concerning her birthday of course, and the description you gave of Innes rescuing her from the bandit, especially him kicking the corpse.
In general you had very good descriptions too. I particularly liked, "after only the pink dregs of the sun's light remained, balancing on the rim of the cup of the sky." It radiates a feeling of such solitude and silence, like the world is pausing as Tana has her moment she's been working for so hard.
If I had to pick something to point out as something mildly resembling a negative aspect (there was really nothing wrong :P), it would be Eirika and Ephraim, both of whom seemed rather flat, although that may have been the point? They were just there, after all, to emphasize the difference between the two relationships, and Tana would have a twisted perspective of them as the ideal siblings. On the first read through, though, some of of Eirika's dialogue seemed to belie their flatness of character, whereas Tana's perception of them made the distinction perfectly without making them seem unrealistic or fake. Anyway, I say "on the first read through" because upon going back figure out what on earth I'm trying to say I found that I actually have no problem with the dialogue and find Eirika sweet and endearing. Huh. Something to keep in mind at least, I suppose? Anyway, I very much enjoyed this, and am so happy to have been able to read something from you!
| Kitten Kisses chapter 1 . 1/4/2011
I am a bad friend. I'M HERE NOW I SWEAR.
["A-actually, Eirika…" Tana ventures with a smile, "I think I'd like to try a lance!"] ...LOL TANA.
["It doesn't require any brains or skill to knock someone around with a giant stick. My time is better spent practicing the bow."] Oh, Innes.
[Well, he doesn't have to look so surprised about it, Tana thinks, and the thought fills her eyes with tears.] Poor girl.
[and he is going to kill me!] Yeah, sorry Tana, but that might be the least of your worries.
[She shrieked] ...This is so in character. Hehe.
[my stupid, stupid little sister who does stupid things] I pictured him noogieing her. I am a bad person, I know...
Nice way to end it. It's so Innes.
Honestly, this wasn't one of your better pieces (okay, nobody asked me). I felt that the first part didn't really flow well to the last part. IDK how to explain it. It was like, JERK!Innes and then suddenly he was really nice. I suppose it could be attributed to being in Tana's point of view, so we don't really see how he's felt at all, only how she sees him?
Ugghh it's too early in the morning for me to be awake. Whatever. I still liked the story. Tana's cute. And I feel bad for her, looking for anything resembling the same kind of relationship Eirika and Ephraim share where she and Innes are concerned.
PS. I wish I got along with my brothers like Eirika gets along with hers. But in the end both my brothers are pretty much Innes-es. Yep.
| quintilis chapter 1 . 1/2/2011
Yay! I don't see many Tana pieces out there (even you say you don't really enjoy her), so it's great to see one thats reallyreallyreally well-done. Also, it has some great bonding, sibling, non-romance-sappy substance, which is a plus. The characterization of both main characters was spot-on: Tana struggling and persevering for approval (of Innes AND Ephraim) and Innes haughty and annoyed but always there.
| themagebear chapter 1 . 12/31/2010
| anon chapter 1 . 12/30/2010
Too cute Innes and Tana's supports were always my favourites and it seems so like Innes to tell Tana to go away because they're playing a "man's game" 3
| NewPaladin chapter 1 . 12/29/2010
Sibling fic 3 My favourite
I liked Tanas characterisation very much, especially her fight for her brothers affection and that she never gave up. I think that's very admirable. The idea that she trained and got stronger to earn Innes respect was great; I loved that part.
Innes. He was great. I normally don't like him, but his interactions with Tana (in your fic and in his support with her) are really cute. He tries to hide his soft spot sooo hard
The only thing that I thought was a bit off was Eirikas characterization in the flashback. It's a big part of her character that she hates fighting, so it was strange to see that she would so willingly participate in a spar. Especially this sentence: "Let's go…I think I saw a practice rapier, and I'm ever so excited…that's my favourite sort of sword! Which is your favourite? Would you rather use the rapier?" Feels really, really strange. There's also the question if Eirika already had started to learn to fight at that age (I'm not sure how old she is in the flashback but I guess between 8-12?). In the flashback scene in chapter 2 (of the game) it says (or maybe it's just implied) that she started to learn to fight only three years ago. So, that's the only thing that confused me.
I do love the end. Especially the "You know I love you, because I so don't want to say it out loud or I would die of shame" attitude on Innes side. :D