|Reviews for Precocious Crush|
| DoctorPain91 chapter 220 . 11/26
Hey mako in the last four to five days I have spent quite a bit of time reading this whole story and I got to say I absolutely love it. So I really hope that when you get the chance you start writing more of it. - your friend the Doctor
| Damian chapter 220 . 11/6
Are you coming back? pls I LOVE this fanfic, plsss come back soon and let mindy have dave plsss
| fate of the agarwaen chapter 220 . 10/12
Okay, so I discovered this without really looking, just happened to be going through the favourite story list of an author I'd been reading stuff of, and bingo. This jumped out at me, and caught my attention real good. I mean, I always shipped Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl (or Dave and Mindy) but I never really 'publically' shipped them, you know? I felt it was a little weird. However, this fic...this fic is divine. I can't fathom the amount of work you must have put in to make it what it is so far, it's incredible. You've gotten into Mindy's headspace so very very well that I legitimately see this as Mindy's journal and not your writing. I've hurt with her, I've been happy with her, I've laughed with her, I've cried with her. Right now my heart is literally aching for her pains. And considering I binge-read this in one night that's a pretty massive rollercoaster of emotions I've been on.
Where to actually start with reviewing this? I can't even think.
Okay, D'Amico. Now I haven't seen KA2, just KA1, but just from that I can totally see him becoming this psychopathic swine from his portrayal in the first film. Had his father still been around then the elder D'Amico would probably have knocked some sense into him, though I think he'd still wind up as the slightly unstable psychopathic high-ranking henchman that all good mob-bosses have. Perhaps an attack dog, almost. As is, I can totally see him as a teenage mob boss who's probably mentally damaged from his upbringing and having his dad killed. The 'escalation of violence' is also interesting. I also very much approved of the fact that he was quiet not because he was just being quiet but because he was busy fighting all the other big lords of organised crime out there. Reminds me of Grendel, a bit.
Katie is not my favourite character, but then I'm biased due to Mindy's eyes being my viewpoint. Even so, I can see how she'd rub a girl like Mindy up the wrong way. And that's all I have to say.
Dave and Mindy. Now there's a thing. You've got them listed in the story summary as being in a pairing, but so far it's totally been up in the air. Heck, I could probably make a good analysis on the basis that it's all in Mindy's head and Dave just views her as a sister. Okay, he does, and it is, but you know what I mean. I'm assuming that you intend to have Dave and Mindy finally be in a relationship at some point, but that seems a long way off. Still, I have absolutely loved the development of the relationship as it's come and I think that when it does come the knot that is now in my chest will unwind. She's so sweet and also so scarily precocious it's scary. Now I was a precocious kid myself, and knew about sex by the time I was seven, but that's intellectually. Mindy is both intellectually and emotionally precocious but very clearly not mature. She has these feelings and doesn't know how to control them. And it hurts reading her sometimes, it really does.
I totally think that at least one of the people at Mindy and Dave's school (or should I say Mindy's only now...) is one of D'Amico's Cunts. There has to be.
I am also so very intrigued by what the hell Angela has done. I have a suspicion it has to do with Dave, but...what? I mean, he's clearly in a (relatively) stable relationship with Riley, so...still. Hmm.
I'll be waiting for when you return, and hopefully when you do I'll be able to get in on one of your 'bonus' chapters...
| Guest chapter 219 . 9/29
Great story! 3
| Never Morrison chapter 170 . 8/23
As someone who has done a bit... okay, a fair am... a lot... like.. a-fuckin-lot.. of drunk typing (yay college) I gotta say that I don't think this is particularly accurate. You lack the ability to focus singularly on a topic, but generally become hyper focused on the typing itself, which tends to lead to a lot of words being retyped without remembering to erase the previous attempts, tangents that go nowhere and in my personal experience, an insane desire to spice up your text with zany fonts and colors. Then again, I didn't really try writing anything while drunk until I was a few years older than Mindy and she's booth tinny and an inexperienced drinker, so meh. I also just remembered that she's generally writing this by hand, and as bad as my writing is sober...
That's all beside the point though. Regardless of how accurate this may or may not have been as a representative of drunken writing, it definitely got the drunken feeling across perfectly. It's so easy to picture Mindy doing the rapid seesawing between giggly/sappy and angry/horny as she tries to put her thoughts down that I made it through very little of the chapter without steady laughter. Excellent work as always!
| Never Morrison chapter 116 . 8/22
I gotta admit, at first, it just seemed as if you were rushing it for some reason, but then it got to the point where I was just giving my screen a funny look as I read on, trying to figure what was up. Still, even knowing something was definitely off, the transition back to shopping threw me for a minute. Excellent work!
| Never Morrison chapter 14 . 8/22
I was hoping against hope that you made it up, but even before I reached your authors note, I had that sort of slow, creeping up your spine and lodging in your gray matter sense of horror. Twilight will consume us all.. -shudder- I can see the apocalypse... and it is carried on the backs of ravenous fangirls/boys.
Fantastic story so far, by the way. I tend to avoid stories with so many chapters of short length because the constant clicking over to the next page and slight delay in loading times tends to interrupt the flow, but your narrative actually works really well for this. Gonna keep reading
| Guest chapter 220 . 8/10
Anyone else wonder if there's going to be more chapter I do! Please do more!
| Lee Kyle chapter 207 . 8/8
The actors are aging faster than your characters - can be a bit confusing at times.
Prestige torture sick
Yes, time to start rebuilding the stash
| Lee Kyle chapter 206 . 8/8
light sabers and pizza - good day
| Lee Kyle chapter 205 . 8/8
Nice to see so many characters together at last
Might I please suggest an editor or beta? It's more that words get left out of sentences than anything else. I'm no nazi, mind you. It just tends to take the reader out of the story, which is something I'm sure you don't want.
| Lee Kyle chapter 204 . 8/8
squirrels, push-ups - but no kisses
so how much longer before Dave just admits the inevitable?
| Lee Kyle chapter 203 . 8/8
"hit my fist with their face" - too true
crime is not "supposed to" be organized - too bad those bitches can think
| Fahad09 chapter 189 . 8/4
You know, I'm beginning to wonder if David is even dating Riley. I mean at no point did he ever call Riley his girlfriend or kiss her like he did with Katie (or at least Mindy never saw them kiss) and now they move in together but live in separate rooms. Plus I think it wouldn't be in character for Riley to date David without talking to Mindy even once about it, you know, to soften the blow a little, she did know about the crush after all.
Maybe I'm reading to much in this but it looks like Mindy might have just misread the situation and David is allowing her to keep that misconception so that he would have an excuse to reject her.
Then again, this might be just wishful thinking on my part.
| Guest chapter 143 . 8/2
Loved the music themes u story line made forever!