|Reviews for Precocious Crush|
| dogbertcarroll chapter 7 . 1/11/2011
Great chapter. Loved the inside jokes. I wonder what her reaction will be to Dave's friend who swore he was saving his virginity for Hit Girl when she grew up.
| Proponent of EVO chapter 7 . 1/11/2011
I like this a lot - it's very sweet, in the dark and horrible way Hit-Girl can be considered "sweet".
| RobGill chapter 6 . 1/10/2011
Love it, so far. Some comments about Mindy's narration:
"Even when Daddy was chasing me around with a baseball bat..."
Uh...I'm having a hard time imagining this, even though I'm sure that you meant for it to sound humorous. Damon's...quirky...behavior, notwithstanding, this seems out of character for him. Yes, I know he tested firearms on her bulletproof vest, but still. Not to get off-topic, but does this also mean that her remark "I hate getting punched in the chest" (in the film) mean that Daddy was also doing the punching? (I took it to mean that she'd seen limited action as Hit Girl prior to her first scene in the film, and that a thug had punched her, instead.)
Re Mindy reacting poorly to Dave and Katie dating. Oh, well, must be a sign that Mindy-her dysfunctional vigilante upbringing, notwithstanding-is a normal 11 year old, after all. (And if her "rainbow" remark doesn't just scream "MEOW!" nothing does.) :) Seriously, I'd like to see her crush remain just that; they function better as crime-fighting comrades-in-arms, anyway, with Katie being the love interest, instead. That, and folks may get a little suspicious about a 17 year-old boy and an 11 year-old girl hanging out together all the time, in the absence of a credible cover story.
Re the "tunk." Did Todd and Marty invent the term, as in the comic? It's OK; as long as elements from the comic continuity don't blatantly contradict the film (such as Big Daddy's contradictory origin stories), I have no problem with you making use of them. Speaking of which, don't worry about complaints about Mindy being too "introspective"; she was, indeed, this way in the comic, although it was in issue #6, not #5.
As for "it was really nice to have a conversation where I didn't have to pretend to be into Justin Bieber," does this also mean that she's not particularly fond of Twilight? Judging from the way you've described her so far, it would definitely be in character.
"I'm seriously considering just taking Marcus' car while he's asleep." Although it's not your fault, that's one thing that bugged me about the film: how does an 11 year-old girl in a purple wig race a car through Manhattan and *not* attract attention from law enforcement? Doesn't this thought cross Mindy's mind, too?
Oh, well, no need to respond, just an idle thought, a Kick-Ass pet peeve of mine-right up there with jobless Dave (supported by a single, working-class father-not exactly a guy with money to throw away), asking Dad to part company with $99.99 for a scuba suit, and then-when it's destroyed-asking him for *another* $99.99? Wouldn't Dad start asking questions? Again, no need to answer.
Anyway, keep up the good work, and please update soon.
| TorontoBatFan chapter 6 . 1/9/2011
This is a pretty good fic so far. I'm very much enjoying it.
I agree that any Dave/Mindy relationship would have to progress slowly. It would take a while, I think, just for Dave to start to see Mindy as more than a friend/partner. I do think that once she's older he'll start to come around to that though.
I thought Mindy was starting high school at the end of the film. I was under the impression that she was further along -due to the intensity of Damon's tutoring- than most kids her age, so she was able to start high school a couple of years earlier than her peers.
I loved the part about the AK-47 in the teddy bear. That was right out of the comics sequel.
BTW, Dave and Mindy DO have access to a car of their own. They have the former Mistmobile. I presume they kept it after the end of the film and stashed it somewhere. Dave now has a license and Mindy has already shown she's able to drive it.
I like the way you're building up Dave and Mindy's relationship. It's something I'm working on in my own fics.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
| dogbertcarroll chapter 6 . 1/7/2011
Great chapter. Encore!
| dogbertcarroll chapter 5 . 1/4/2011
You wouldn't think you could, but god-damnit, with a little effort and a lot of patience you can fit an AK-47 in a teddy bear.
Great line, loved the ending!
| dogbertcarroll chapter 4 . 1/4/2011
Another excellent chapter. Nice pacing, too many people try and rush things but you have the pacing down pretty well.
| dogbertcarroll chapter 3 . 1/4/2011
| screamlikeabanshee chapter 2 . 12/30/2010
I want to shoot Justin Bieber.
In his tunk.
Best thing EVER! I literally loled xD
| dogbertcarroll chapter 2 . 12/30/2010
| screamlikeabanshee chapter 1 . 12/29/2010
LOL Bog Daddy chasing her around witha baseball bat! I can picture that. xD
| dogbertcarroll chapter 1 . 12/29/2010
Great first chapter. Really sets the tone.