|Reviews for The Ring that Binds Thee|
| WyldwoodFaye chapter 1 . 8/4/2014
This makes me think that Helios wanted Chibimoon to come over for a little romance ;)...
he asked her to come alone.. & SOMEHOW youma got into Elysion hahah
| LissyCreator chapter 16 . 3/2/2013
Please please please please PLEASE UPDATE!
| Monokli chapter 16 . 12/30/2012
So now they are some descendants of elves, or equivalents. I spent hours on your crap trying, hoping that it will make sense eventually, but you fucked up beyond any recognition.
Bad sue fic is bad. Lotr isn't about princes, princesses, kings of the old, and the stewards who govern the lands of long-dead ancestors. Lord of the Rings is about everything. Stealing the spotlight with the sue-ified characters, who know everything they have to do, their mistakes are excuses to be comforted by Aragorn and Legolas, are secretly elves or something, I'm not even reading at this point. FUCK! Even Gandalf came back to HER! Not for his task, not for defeating sauron, not for continued advising the fellowship, as his quest as an Istari began ages ago. No. He came back to Rini, Mini-moon, a princess, and he has to mention it. I'm greatly offended by the fanfic you wrote, as is almost anyone who's a Tolkien fan.
You took one of the most influential, most well-written, well-constructed work in the history of fiction, you took the work of Tolkien's life, filled with languages he crafted, cultures he detailed, filled with so many poems and songs that you couldn't memorize it if you were a literature major and your life depended on it, and gutted it like a fish for WHY? Cause a silly anime from your childhood apparently looked better to you, and you decided to throw everything aside from the movie plot away, insert the characters you took from Sailor Moon, and make them the best things ever.
Sauron's corruption in Hotaru is conceptually interesting. It could be explored well, but not at the cost of making the whole story revolve around them. But there is a difference between showing things from another point of view, and making the characters of the setting, heck the entire plot depend on them to do the right thing.
And they steal lines from the characters to make themselves more relevant. It's fucking disgusting that you can't come up with your own, that you either lack even the grasp on the characters you use to act on their own in a situation, or are willfully defying Lord of the Rings. Either way it's bad. I'm grievously offended.
| Monokli chapter 9 . 12/30/2012
I don't even know where to begin on this one. You're trying, I see that, although the natural ones on your research rolls aren't helping much. Thranduil, Legolas' father is alive and kicking, and actually helps restoration after the war of the ring. He played a pretty big role in The Hobbit, as he was the elven king who captured Thorin's party, and had a bit of an argument with them about some jewels that some dwarves took. It took Bilbo a liberal use of the ring to get the party out.
The mere implication that elven songs are actually some weaboo crap that you pulled out of some anime you watched, which when translated lose all rythm and form, that to quote Treebeard: "There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of men for this treachery!"
Ahh... Finally, elven magic out of nowhere. Magical plants are okay, suddenly wizard Legolas is NOT! Even worse Legolas did not need to be called over, cause you already estabilished that he was RIGHT THERE BESIDE RINI, as he helped pull Hotaru out of Nimrodel.
| Monokli chapter 8 . 12/30/2012
Much, Much better!
Still, I'm frowning upon the "sudden elvish skills out of nowhere" Hotaru. Especially that it's the second time she's stealing feats from other fellowship members. First is Frodo at the entrance, now "finding the way", despite Gandalf clearly knowing the way, and the only time they were lost was solved by the blowing of wind from one of the tunnels.
Also the first "bridge" was really a staircase. It is quite confusing, please rethink and rewrite.
As well as "the orc kicked the glaive out of my hand, Let's pull out my bow!". Really? You get engaged in melee and you pull out a ranged weapon? What kind of fucking idiot are you?
Before that, there's the battle with the troll. You handled it in very Sailor Moon style, "everyone used their attacks". It's bland, it's boring, it's unprofessional, it's illiterate, and so on. There's so much potential for variation even in simple swordplay, spear fight, axes, glaives, dual wielded scimitars a'la Legolas... you name the weapon.
A swipe of a shield's bladed edge or a full on bash, even going into a body slam using the shield as a sort of a battering ram.
I'll give you an example:
Thrusting at the Troll's neck with Andúril, Aragorn got it's attention, while Legolas, pelting it's hideous form with arrows moved behind it with quick and graceful steps. Wherever it strode, Gimli was there, his hatred for trolls and orc-kind transformed the stubborn dwarf into fury incarnate, and wherever his axe struck, the troll had felt it's mark.
Still, it was as ancient as it was hideous. The arrows in it's back were like itches to scratch, and even the mighty dwarf's weapons could only sting it's tough hide. Spells and magic bounced off it's skin, and only made matters worse, for the troll launched himself against us, Rini and Gandalf!
Frodo tried to flank it's charge, but the troll's terrible intellect sensed him, and with might that could tear a boar in half, struck him with it's massive spear.
The ringbearer collapsed and remained still. However Boromir, using the distraction, dashed inside the monster's guard and slashed away wildly. He was swept away, knocked onto Balin's coffin but not before scoring at least a half dozen wounds on the beast.
The three other hobbits fought their way to Frodo, and cut down whatever orc and goblin even dared to take them as easy prey.
Relentless in it's stride, the troll came onward. Aragorn and Gimli, abandoning killing the orcs, came and blocked it's path. The flame of west burned as bright as Gimli's rage. And wherever they struck, the ranger and the dwarf, the towering monster was beat back.
Regaining my wits, I drew my bow again, and fired at the orcs who tried to flank them. In the heat of battle, a few evaded my shots, but they were cut down by Gandalf and Rini before they could get too close to hinder me.
Legolas, in the meanwhile got onto a vantage point. Running up on a staircase he launched himself on top of the troll, and released a pair of arrows into it's thick skull. The beast staggered under the weight of the wounds it suffered, but still summoned up enough strength to smash through the pair, paying no heed to the wounds it suffered, and almost reached us. Gandalf and Rini rushed up to forestall it, but I found I can't shoot it without endangering them. I could only watch in horror as Rini was viciously backhanded, and sent flying into a stone pillar, and Gandalf, too, was strained under the barrage of inhumanly strong strikes, and he was slowly losing ground.
But the old man wasn't out of his tricks yet. His staff glowed in a white that was blinding, which distracted the monster long enough for Legolas to safely jump off from it, and stick in an arrow under it's greasy chin.
And thus was the Troll of Moria felled.
| Monokli chapter 7 . 12/30/2012
Hmm... Doubts. I like the way this worked out. How it will turn out, is an entirely different matter. At least Aragorn and Legolas react sensibly.
| monokli chapter 6 . 12/30/2012
Oohh Nice chapter you have there.
You don't understand, or at least Rini doesn't, (which is believable if she inherited her mother's mental faculties) that magic works in a different way in Arda (the world of LoTR is called Arda). It isn't very well known HOW exactly it works, and given how ridiculous the sailors already are, it is not stupid to expect them to do shit unconsciously, especially if Saturn's doing these visions.
And don't even TRY to pull out the stops from the senshi nuke powers. Eru Illuvatar will step in, snatch them up, and throw their little loli asses out into the timeless void before they can open their mouth in protest.
| Monokli chapter 5 . 12/30/2012
Hmm... Only a few mistakes! Whether or not it is an improvement or not, I can't tell, cause you were pretty much following th book's plotline, which is... the best thing you did insofar in this entire fiction.
But then: Why didn't Legolas hand Hotaru the braces BEFORE they set out? It would make sense to speed up the training. Why the new sheathe?
And Frodo wouldn't have sounded like an idiot. He's lived in the shire, without concerns, and only snuck out to meet the elves who lived around in Eregion. Asking the way to Mordor seemed like the only sensible thing to do. But again it's Saturn's PoV, and she isn't particularly bright.
| Monokil chapter 4 . 12/30/2012
So... They are given a month, and Hotaru learns a very very difficult art, shooting with a bow, that some people practice for a lifetime from childhood, and masters it in the afternoon to the extent that archers can only match in their height, and given the flow of events she's got the grace and speed of elves. I'm fully expecting her to match Legolas in archery now.
And that crap about Rini's pink sword. I'm not even thinking about that. A great part of Lord of the Rings is that while most of the important heroes are high and mighty princes, stewards, long lost heirs of the throne of gondor, and dwarven lords, for all their highness they can only do a "good enough" distraction for salt of the earth people, Frodo and Sam, fucking commoners, to finish the quest, and do the actual saving. And in the end, it's just as important that the free peoples retained hold of Minas Tirith, that they assaulted the black gate, that Helm's Deep didn't fall, just as that Frodo held out to the very end, where even he, free of the pride, greed and lust that plagued the large folk, was taken by the ring, and only Gollum's "part to play" tilted the balance to the victory of the forces of good.
Apparently, sue traits are emerging by the dozens now: This fast learning, Moon powerz through anything, silencer glaive, singing random anime songs while forgetting about the poetic material Tolkien wrote for Middle Earth. Again!
And to add up to the lack of research: Elrond's two sons: Elladan and Elrohir, and the other elves in the area who ARE extremely proficent swordfighters are juust ignored. The Dwarf axe-work isn't even mentioned, although They ARE the race designed to be hard as stone and resilist corruption. And woo how they did resist it, the rings had to "go around" by enhancing their greed and ambition to cause Balin's downfall. No dwarf kings of mountain halls have become the thralls of Barad Dur.
You even screwed up the dialogue about the languages. Common tongue.. my bad, Common Speech(!), and westron, is indeed english. However what Gandalf was saying was in the Black Speech, and Elrond was about to translate it. Saturn screwed that up. Both at the meeting and at the training.
Wow! 3 days? Really? Next time put more thought into this. There is potential, the childish outlook and mindset is well portrayed, but pretty much everything else needs to be rethought.
| Guest chapter 3 . 12/30/2012
Suddenly they are all so important, but don't really partake in the discussion, try to get to know things, just where the fuck they are, this kind of thing. Gandalf even mentions the "thirtieth century", despite that the timeline in Middle Earth is probably past it. I'm soo looking forward to reading the whole Lord of the Rings in reader's digest version without the detail, the language, the depth that Tolkien wrote into it, coupled with someone's favourite sailor moon characters and powers that I can't even tell you!
But hey, Saturn blasted Gandalf with her instand death attack, who just shrugged it off. Something makes me believe that he'll be fed up with this prophecy you pulled, and just roll along.
And as long as you don't completely screw over middle earth, the fellowship and mordor in order to put the two scouts into the focus, I'm rolling along as well.
| Monokli chapter 2 . 12/30/2012
So Aragorn took on the Nazgul all by himself, did not use fire!, just happened to be where our two loveable heroes landed in, and all he was relegated to do instead of being the badass orc slaying guy who took MANY Nazgul on and DROVE THEM OFF ALL BY HIMSELF(!), is to be a tuxedo mask replacement with a sword, while one strike from the silencer glaive explodes the monster into gore, which it doesn't have as the nine are fucking incorporeal, and fucking immortal, and have tons more combat experience than a loli girl with a glaive (centuries of serving the One Ring). Though it can be because of his hubris.
Please read the book, heck even watch RoTK, the Witch King pretty much collapses into nothingness when the magical blade strikes it. AND it's so freaking evil he STILL destroys the magical blade(s) it was struck with. (In the book the hobbits' swords were magical elven blades found in the Great Barrows, don't remember Eowyn's sword) So unless you made the silencer glaive an one-shot weapon and destroyed it, gave Rini the morgul blade equivalent of sickness (requires athelas to cure), which was what Eowyn and Merry were suffering from, fuck there's even a separate chapter for them in the infirmary in the book, you screwed over LoTR before you really began.
Hell, I'm no Tolkien buff by any standards, I haven't read the silmarillion, only the Hobbit, LoTR and it's appendix, some from Tolkien's post-publishing note, all that over ten years ago(!), but I still know these mistakes when I see it.
Just my two cents, of course. Now onward to chapter 3!
| bur bur chapter 16 . 11/14/2012
i hope you updait soon
| lexibob1 chapter 16 . 7/17/2012
Awesome story! Please continue. :)
| Scorpinac chapter 16 . 3/23/2012
Dang, Hotaru's fallen to Sauron's power, not good... And Rini's about to enjoy the battle of Helm's Deep, whee. I look forward to what comes next, though I was sort of hoping Hotaru would be with Sam and Frodo right up to Mount Doom, or is that when we're going to catch back up with her? Well, until chapter 17, then. Laters.
| Taeniaea chapter 15 . 1/4/2012