|Reviews for Tale of the Forgotten One|
| NerdyNel chapter 1 . 2/3/2011
Oh gosh. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've read The Silm? Meaning that I have very few names still left in my head...I'm gonna guess V*****e? It fits: shipwreck, "something extraordinary," Gondolin obv. I don't remember him doing much of anything in The Silmarillion, but wasn't he a bit more chatty in Unfinished Tales (or was it one of HoME...)?
Anyway, an interesting character selection whoever it is. I thought the description of the storm was very good; very intense. I appreciate the Ulmo reference (forshadowing?) - if you wanted to go even further with that you could mention Osse and Uinen. I like the progression from "we" to "I" as his existence become focused on just trying to get a breath of air! One thing that bugged me a little was this,
"My long, dull black hair tangled in my arms as I desperately tried to swim to the surface."
'Dull' and 'black' is completely irrelevant to the scene and disrupts the action. 'Long' is fine because getting tangled up in your own hair (Stupid elven pretty boys.;-)) would be problematic. I thought the sentences were a little choppy in the first few paragraphs, but not distractingly so.
G'grief, how I go on. Overall, good job!