|Reviews for All These Lives|
| CrayonsPink chapter 1 . 1/3/2011
This was so sad! I almost started crying. :( Great job!
| Lauren chapter 1 . 1/2/2011
Ok, sorry I reached the limit.
So, anyway, I don't know how I want September to go. If they do find him, then my other favorite option is them finding Logan but he's messed up more than I can really comprehend. I just... I wasn't expecting to want that option, you know? I was honestly shocked by how much pain I was in, and how badly I needed Logan to be found. Everything about appreciating good writing was removed and I was amazed with how fiercely I wanted to email you and demand that Logan be found. This really had a profound affect on me.
I'm more removed again now, and I can accept and appreciate them never finding Logan. Then again, my head still hurts.
I don't know what I want you to do. I just want Logan.
This was INCREDIBLE. It's the best thing you've ever written. I love it and I love you.
| WyszLo chapter 1 . 1/2/2011
Ok I've been staring at this blank review box for two minutes trying to hype myself up to review but all I want to do is put my computer away, roll over, and cry myself to sleep.
I've already reviewed the first part for you in my email, so this is gonna start with the police officers. Except for this... I have to bring this up again: "His heart hurts so badly that for a minute he's afraid that he's dying." It was even harder the second time. The whole time I was terrified for our bunny and yet it was Kendall that broke me.
Ok, continuing with the story. I freaked out when I read "bloodstain." Up until then I had already read everything, so I was pretty much ok. That's when I started crying again.
And then our bunny happened. I was crying so hard I was shaking throughout Carlos's entire first section. I had to take multiple breaks to hide my face in my crying towel to sob. It hurt. This was one of the hardest parts: "A sob shakes him and nearly knocks him off his feet. "Why can't you save, Logan? He's my best friend?" BUNNY. I just... his dad is his HERO, and then to see is dad letting him down through Carlos's eyes. I died inside. And then this killed me more: "Everything had changed. They had all changed and none of it had been for the better. It had all been for the worse. Carlos often finds himself saying and doing things that he regrets as soon as they happen. He finds it harder to think about the consequences, not in an immature, irresponsible way, but just because it's too hard to think at all." It's just like LH and Three- he's not our bunny anymore, except this is worse because I don't see an end to it. I don't know how to fix it. Logan is the only one who can fix it... but this isn't like LH where Logan can get better and it isn't like Three where Carlos can find acceptance... this is a nightmare where he can never wake up because he'll never ever know. This part was honderful (see, stealing it): "Carlos shuts his eyes and allows his father to hold him, rocking gently back and forth. He ignores the fact that he's seventeen and far too old for this kind of contact. He doesn't care because it's truly the only thing that keeps him together when he's splitting apart at the seams." It was so touching yet tragic at the same time. I miss our bunny.
"The most frustrating thing about this whole nightmare is that they can do nothing to help Logan. They're so freaking helpless." YES. I'm dying inside.
There's just so much about this part: "They both hear the door and look up to see Carlos walk in, wearing the weight of the world on his shoulders. He doesn't bother to greet them with a smile. That smile, the one that put the sun to shame with its genuine brightness and infectiousness, is long gone. Nobody has seen it for months.
"Carlitos," Kendall's voice has shifted to a worried, mournful tone. He pats the empty spot on the couch beside him, not telling James to move over to make more room. They all like the closeness.
Carlos obediently sits, like a robot or a dog. He has hardly any life in him at all as he lays his head on Kendall's shoulder, wrung dry of everything. He's numb. "I don't understand why this is still happening." He says out loud, making Kendall and James jump. "I thought it would be over by now."
Kendall and James nod because they all thought it would be over a long time ago."
The smiley face is gone again. You killed our bunny. I know you didn't... but it's like you did. My favorite part of this is "They all like the closeness." That's the only thing keeping me together right now, their closeness. If they lose that they'll lose everything. (Like you did to them in Three... I almost killed you.) They need the closeness.
Guilty James. Although, there was something in his section that had an unexpected affect on me: "He doesn't care that even though they try to hide it, the police have lost hope. Logan will come back to them." I GOT hope at this part, which is completely illogical when you take all of our conversations about this into account, but it happened. All I could think was how you wouldn't tell me how it ended, and for the first time I completely abandoned my adamancy that Logan didn't have to be found. I NEEDED Logan to be found. I took James's hope and latched on, and for the first time I wasn't a reader appreciating the realness of your work, I was missing Logan and my heart was broken and the only thing I wanted in the world was for Logan to be ok. This is different than Betrayal. It's much, much worse. I love Betrayal to death, and you are forbidden to ever change it, but this is killing me. In Betrayal Logan's gone forever, but only from the boys. He's OK, he's ALIVE, he's just angry. But I can find solace in knowing that he's still THERE. Now... now I don't know and it's something worse than terrible. The disease has affected me and suddenly I hated everything I said before and all I wanted to do was beg you to find Logan.
And now it's about to get really hard for me.
At this: "Should we go?" Kendall asks quietly. They've sat in silence for nearly an hour when he realizes that it's almost time. He's not sure if he wants to go because sometimes he wants to pretend that this isn't happening. But he rises to his feet when James and Carlos nod slowly." All I could do is freak out and scream, "WHAT IS HAPPENING? WHAT IS HAPPENING?"
"I. . . c-can't do th-this." James gasps out, shaking his head. "It'll be like giving up on him." DO WHAT? At first I thought it was going to school... but now I know and it all makes so much more sense, and by now I was crying so hard even in my confusion that it's a wonder I finished the story at all.
This is EVERYTHING about Carlos in this, this right here: "No it won't."
Carlos rarely speaks up anymore so it's enough to catch James' attention when he finally does. He doesn't reply, just waits for an explanation.
"We're not giving up on him. We never will." He's BROKEN. He's completely gone, he doesn't smile, he doesn't TALK, he's not our bunny. But he will NEVER give up hope. And now I'm crying again.
And then... and then I figured out what was happening. I can't read this without shaking with sobs: "James hands a candle to Kendall and one to Carlos and they all set them at the edge of the lake where the snow has already been removed. The first candle is lit all the way across the pond and the boys watch in silence as the light makes its way along the edge in both directions, getting closer and closer to where they can only wait." I almost didn't make it past this. I didn't make it past "candle" originally before I was sobbing so hard I had to bite my hand and I was still afraid my sister was going to come in. The sobs HURT. I couldn't stop shaking and I wanted to un-realize what I knew was happening because it was too hard. It was too horrible.
You'd think that would be the hardest I cried, right? Wrong. I honestly don't know how I made it through the end. Before I get to that, though, this was beautiful: "She hands him the lighter and he checks to make sure that James and Kendall have their own lighters. They have already agreed that their candles would finish off the circle and that they would do it the way they did everything: Together." It meant a lot. Really. The entire scene was so beautiful. Brutally painful, yet undeniably beautiful.
Ok... so the hard part. The worst part. Remember the beginning of my review? I told you Kendall broke me. This is where it happened: "Then he hears it.
Kendall is sobbing, loudly." I BROKE. I don't... I don't even know what happened. I died, that's all I know. I started sobbing as hard as you've ever made me sob before... as hard as I've ever sobbed before. I couldn't breath. Breathing hurt. I was trying to calm myself down but my face was pressed into my crying towel and all I knew was Kendall was broken probably beyond repair and it was breaking Carlos even more and Kendall was SOBBING. Kendall doesn't sob. But he was, and I broke.
After a bit, I kept going, but until the end I was sobbing and shaking so much I'm actually quite impressed I managed to stay quiet enough my sisters didn't come in. I mean, I broke before, but this made me cry even harder: "He's crying harder than Carlos has ever seen him even after all that's happened. But that's not the worst part. At first he merely sinks to his knees, staring out at the candlelit lake. The his mouth begins to move and soon Carlos hears the words.
"Come back, come back, come back." Kendall chants over and over again. It's a wonder he can talk so much when he's crying so hard but then his voice rises above everything else. "Please, Logan. Come back." I can't read that and not cry. It's horrible. It's absolutely terrible. PLEASE LOGAN, COME BACK. I was crying so hard I couldn't see. I couldn't breath. I couldn't believe how much it hurt. It was worse than Three. It was WORSE. KENDALL.
"wrapped in a triangular hug that used to be a square." AHHH. I can't even. I hate triangles now.
"They fall apart together, feeling their broken hearts breaking into tinier pieces." My heart as well.
"All they can do is hope." So now I'm faced with this dilemma: do I want them to find Logan? See... I told you before that I caught the disease. That I wanted you to disregard everything I had said and have them find Logan because it just HURT too much. The thing is, hope is an even stronger disease. It's infectious and powerful and I can't let it go. I would be ok if they never found Logan, I've recovered enough, but I would NEVER lose hope. In my mind, I would always believe that somewhere out there, Logan is ok. Yes, I will still probably cry myself to sleep tonight, and I still have a headache from the tears I've already shed, but hope is powerful.
Do I want to use my hope and beg you to choose the option where they find Logan and he's just really messed up? I don't even know anymore. This has affected
| Fang lover23 chapter 1 . 1/2/2011
Wow, you just LOVE making us cry. T.T
That was super sad. Especially the part where Kendall lost it- I was like 'Oh wow'.
You should totally do a sequel, even if it's not happy. There needs to be some sort of closure on this. /
| Dudes friend chapter 1 . 1/1/2011
Yeah my friend just read your fic but now I have read it and I agree. There needs to be a sequel! Happy sequel pleassse tho.
| Dude chapter 1 . 1/1/2011
Sequel! This needs a sequel
| Annabanana4ever chapter 1 . 1/1/2011
Ohmygosh! I reallllyyyy want a sequel with a happy ending! Please give me a sequel! I will seriously love you forever!
I love the song choice!
I will die if there's no sequel
please let there be a sequel ! It would be amazing
| xEryChan chapter 1 . 1/1/2011
Wow! I seriously don't even know what to say right now.
I seriously loved this story like so much. I cried, no joke, I honestly cried. I'm still crying as I'm typing this review. This story was heartbreaking. And I love the song like so much and I'm not much a Daughtry fan either.
This fic was just amazing, I loved it and I'm so favoriting this story.
| We Love Trevor And Kayla chapter 1 . 1/1/2011
This was really good but so sad. It is so sad when things like this happen and thank you for writing this.
| Music4ever1617 chapter 1 . 1/1/2011
I love this! It's one of my favorite songs by Daughtry. It's very emotional. I wrote a drabble, in my music drabbles, a while back to this song.
Very good! Innocent Logan taken away. :(
| valentine142 chapter 1 . 1/1/2011
Okay, I can't even speak or think properly...gah.
I'm writing this review from my weeping corner where I might decide to take up permanent residence because this story made me cry so freaking much, it was so beautifully written and the song went with it perfectly. It was... mind blowing. Like...wow. It was so emotional and genuine and the candle scene was so perfectly written and sad that it completely killed me.
I think a sequel would be amazing but at the same time this is perfect the way it is so I guess it's up to you :)
Happy New Year, and well done on this. It was incredible. x
| Falling to Fly chapter 1 . 1/1/2011
I'm really upset right now because I left this really long review and FanFiction said it was submitted, but guess what? It wasn't. :(
This whole thing left me shocked, scared, and with every word my heart ached a little bit more. But at the same time it was remarkable and beautiful and perfect in every way. All These Lives is a perfect song for this.
Kendall. It hurt so much to see how much pain he was going through. Eight months is a long time to go without knowing if someone you love is okay. It's too long. I can't even begin to fathom what kind of person would do something so horrible and breaking. It's so messed up. Kendall's pessimistic side scares me because… It just seems so wrong to even consider him giving up hope on anything.
It started off as such an innocent and normal morning, and it's terrifying how it was all just torn apart. It really bothers and sickens me that we live in a world where some people, some MONSTERS somehow think it's okay to tear someone from their home and leave behind pain and suffering. It's sick.
James. It's heartbreaking to know that he felt he had to cut himself to escape the pain of losing Logan. At least he's getting help now. The picture of the boys was so sweet, but it shouldn't have been the last one James got. "Logan wasn't taken by another person. No human being was capable of such a disgusting act. It was a monster. It was a disease that affected those who had been left behind." I couldn't agree more. James, or anyone for that matter, could never forget Logan, at least not completely. It just can't be done.
Chief Randall seemed like a really nice guy, but if only he would have accepted that it was a kidnapping a little bit earlier. Logan would never, EVER play a joke like this he'd have to be a sick person, and Logan isn't a sick person. The person who took him is. And the blood and the pocket knife… That was terrifying in ways that I can't even begin to describe.
Carlos. I've always admired the way he loves and respects his father. It's heartbreaking that he felt like his dad was giving up on finding Logan. But it warmed my heart when Mr. Garcia hugged Carlos and wouldn't let go no matter what. And the way you showed how he was still terrified… It was a bittersweet moment.
Kendall and James. Again, I have no words to describe them. And then Carlos came and they were together and just… I don't know. "I don't understand why this is still happening." He says out loud, making Kendall and James jump. "I thought it would be over by now." I wish it could be over, all of it, everywhere. It's so awful.
Oh James. It could never be your fault, just like it could never be Carlos or Kendall's fault, or anyone but the man who took Logan's fault. It could have happened to anyone, it just… happened to you guys. Again, it blows my mind that someone could cause so much pain to so many completely undeserving people. It's sickening.
The candle scene was absolutely beautiful. The raw emotions and the crying and knowing that all they can do is hope… It was all brilliantly written.
There was no way on earth that this could have been easy in any way to write, because I agree with you and think that kidnapping is absolutely the worst crime, but you did and it was absolutely amazing. It left me speechless and heartbroken, but at the same time it was beautiful and incredibly well written. You're incredibly brave for writing such hard subjects, and you do it perfectly. Love you, and happy new year!
| Manilai Again chapter 1 . 1/1/2011
Sorry, I hit the character limit.
Anyway I just wanted to say that I think this is perfect the way it is, and I personally wouldn't want to see a sequel. It's great already. But if you want to make a sequel then just... do it, then.
Well, it was New Year's Day here in Glendora, California just about 46 minutes ago. Thanks for your time and good night. I'm tired.
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/1/2011
There are no words to express the awe that this left me in. It was beautiful and fantastic and every word made my heart hurt a little bit more. But at the same time, this was so amazing, and I think you did a perfect job with it.
Kendall. It was so heartbreaking to see how much pain he was in. Eight months is such a long time to go without someone you love. It hurts to even think about what it must be like to go through something like that. And Kendall's pessimistic side really scares me, because it's so… wrong for it to seem like he's lost hope.
That day started out so innocent and normal. It never fails to blow my mind that one person, one monster can and does rip that away from someone. The shock and the terror… It really makes me sick to know that we live in a world where someone does something so terrible and only causes pain. It's terrible, it's unnecessary, and it bothers me beyond words.
James. It pains me to know that he was cutting himself to escale the pain. But at least now he's getting help. And the picture he had of the four of them was so sweet. " Logan wasn't taken by another person. No human being was capable of such a disgusting act. It was a monster. It was a disease that affected those who had been left behind." I couldn't agree with this line more. And I don't think that it's possible for James, or anyone for that matter, so ever forget Logan.
Chief Randal seemed really nice, but I wish he could have seen that Logan had been kidnapped right away. Because really, Logan would have to be a really sick person to joke about something like that, and he isn't a sick person. The person who took him is. The blood and the pocket knife… That was terrifying in a way that I don't even know how to describe.
Carlos. I've always admired the love and respect he has for his father, and I felt for him when he thought that his dad was giving up. But my heart was warmed when Mr. Garcia hugged him and wouldn't pull away no matter what. That was an adorable moment, and I think you did a great job with their relationship and how Carlos was still so terrified.
Kendall and James were so… Again, I don't even have the words to describe them. And then Carlos came along and they were together. "I don't understand why this is still happening." He says out loud, making Kendall and James jump. "I thought it would be over by now." I'm sorry. I wish that it could all be over, everywhere. No one deserves this pain.
Oh James… It's not your fault. It could never be your fault, or Kendall or Carlos' fault, or anyone but ther monster who took Logan's fault. It could have happened to anyone. I only wish that there was something more to be done.
The whole candle scene was absolutely beautiful. The raw emotion behind it… It was terrible, but also amazing that you captured their emotions so incredibly well.
This entire thing left me speechless and heartbroken, but it was also brilliant, beautiful, incredible, and a lot of other words that mean amazing. It couldn't have been easy writing this, but you did it perfectly and brought attention to yet another heartbreaking issues, possibly one of the worst issues to think about of them all. It was incredibly brave, and you did an amazing job with the entire thing. Love you, and happy new year.
| EpicInTheLibrary chapter 1 . 1/1/2011
Oh my god okay Laura I swear to god okay this was my first reaction to this, I still remember: "I will never be happy ever again oh my god that was just incredible and seriously I am sad and depressed forever and I cried so hard and seriously it's not even funny it's not just like one of those 'oh I cried' it's like 'no I seriously cried and I was not happy and I will never be happy again' and you need to write a happy sequel right now I'm glad you got it all realistic and stuff but seriously you need to write the happy ending we were all waiting for because oh my goddd Lauraaaaa" and yeah. It's lucky Rachel called me right when I finished because I definitely would have cried a lot more if she hadn't. I don't even know what to say. It was three hours ago I read this, and I'm still ready to cry at the thought of it, like oh my god. If you don't write a happy ending I will but I won't be a jerk and submit it or even show anyone it'll just be for me and sure I'll still read your sequel but it'll be okay because that won't be real and the happy one will. Ohhhh mmmyyyy gooodddd and I'm getting that song and it's gonna make me cry and Lauraaaaa I will cry forever and ever and I'm reallyreallyreally sorry for going on and on about it and I'm being super annoying and retarded I understand that just pleassseeeeee I'm going insane and I'm gonna be a serial killer and I'm gonna live the rest of my life in a mental hospital if I don't end up killing myself accidently first. Just wow. That was incredible. Don't take everything I'm saying like I hated it or something, because it's the opposite. That was beautiful and fit the song perfectly. Oh my god I have to stop I'm gonna cry again. Wow. Little Hollow times ten thousand, much? I love you, alright? Oh god. Sorry about my retardedness in this review. I love you so muchhhh.