Reviews for All These Lives
EpicInTheLibrary chapter 1 . 1/1/2011
Oh my god okay Laura I swear to god okay this was my first reaction to this, I still remember: "I will never be happy ever again oh my god that was just incredible and seriously I am sad and depressed forever and I cried so hard and seriously it's not even funny it's not just like one of those 'oh I cried' it's like 'no I seriously cried and I was not happy and I will never be happy again' and you need to write a happy sequel right now I'm glad you got it all realistic and stuff but seriously you need to write the happy ending we were all waiting for because oh my goddd Lauraaaaa" and yeah. It's lucky Rachel called me right when I finished because I definitely would have cried a lot more if she hadn't. I don't even know what to say. It was three hours ago I read this, and I'm still ready to cry at the thought of it, like oh my god. If you don't write a happy ending I will but I won't be a jerk and submit it or even show anyone it'll just be for me and sure I'll still read your sequel but it'll be okay because that won't be real and the happy one will. Ohhhh mmmyyyy gooodddd and I'm getting that song and it's gonna make me cry and Lauraaaaa I will cry forever and ever and I'm reallyreallyreally sorry for going on and on about it and I'm being super annoying and retarded I understand that just pleassseeeeee I'm going insane and I'm gonna be a serial killer and I'm gonna live the rest of my life in a mental hospital if I don't end up killing myself accidently first. Just wow. That was incredible. Don't take everything I'm saying like I hated it or something, because it's the opposite. That was beautiful and fit the song perfectly. Oh my god I have to stop I'm gonna cry again. Wow. Little Hollow times ten thousand, much? I love you, alright? Oh god. Sorry about my retardedness in this review. I love you so muchhhh.
Manilai chapter 1 . 12/31/2010
I'm sorry. I lied.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I can vaguely recall a time in which I reviewed a tragedy of yours. Tragic in theme, not in success. And I said I cried.

I lied. That's what I lied about. When I told you I cried. I'm sorry.

I don't want to lie any more.

Your story didn't make me cry. The tears pooled at the edge of my eyelids. I know I would have cried, honestly, but my brother just came into this room with a late Christmas present for me (I'm going to write this down for reference- 9:34 P.M.); we're at a New Year's Eve party with family and friends. So I couldn't cry. I stopped myself. Because if you were a guy... Wait. I have to say this. I'm a guy. Yeah.

It's not easy to get guys to cry. We're stubborn about it. Stupid manly pride.

So if you were a guy. And your little annoying brother just walked in the room to find you crying, gasping (because that's what I do when I cry, I gasp for breath; crying and inhaling at the same time usually gets the wrong thing to go down your tubes) over a laptop, he's going to want to see what you're looking at. And he would see Big Time Rush. And then he'd be running downstairs tripping over himself to scream at your parents, and your friends, and your parents' friends, that big brother up on floor two was sobbing over boy bands. And when you're a guy, you can't deal with that. The embarrassment, the endless torment sure to come, the everything.

Stupid, stupid manly pride.

I wanted to cry, honestly, I did. I found myself, before my little brother came rushing in, wanting to cry and trying to force myself to cry because I had never cried while reading one of your stories before and I was feeling so guilty that I lied to you about crying and seeing all those reviews...

"I don't think I've ever cried this much"

"Thanks for making me bawl my eyes out during the holiday season"

"see every time and i mean EVERY TIME you make me cry! i cried during the whole story"

"I would like to announce that this is the first FanFic to make me cry. Right now I just want to curl up in a little ball and cry myself to sleep"

And peer pressure, you know? What else was I supposed to say? I just wanted to fit in. It didn't help that I'm a guy and you're all girls. It's not like you guys shoved me up against the lockers, slapped me with a laptop and told me to cry. But. It hurts almost the same when you feel as if you don't fit in.

What do I want to say? What should I say? I'm not sure. Gosh, I've only been writing this for... wow. Has it really been that long? Half an hour already? Whatever. I think there was some stuff I wanted to say to you. Blind praise, probably. I realize now that's all it was. Compliments without real thought. So now I think I'm going to say what I really want to.

Spoiler alert for one or more other stories.

Why the heck is this not in the tragedy genre?

I'm honest. You got my hopes up. It's what I looked at right before I read the story. I didn't need to read the character because I was pretty sure that it was Logan. Friendship and angst. Friendship mixed with angst for you is like a really powerful hurt/comfort story. I don't know how else to describe it. The most recent actually categorized tragedy you wrote killed off Carlos. I feel as if this is a stronger tragedy despite not being marked as one. Not that I have anything against Carlos, but for a different reason.

Because when I saw that it was wasn't a tragedy, I foolishly made the assumption that they'd get at the very least a semi-happy ending. Because Little Hollow had a happy ending. More recently, so did He Lives On (semi-happy). I saw 'angst'. I stupidly assumed that all it would have would be wrist cutting, suicidal thoughts, uncaring/dead parents... the usual. So my hopes were, metaphorically, flying high.

With every single scroll down the page, reading this and not seeing an opportunity for a happy ending in sight, my hopes were crashing down. I started to freak out and get REALLY close to crying when the scroll bar on the right of my screen got about an inch away from the bottom, and Jo and Camille were still super depressed. That's when I gave up all hope on a happy ending. Unless you pulled a deus ex machina where Logan is found lying in the snow because his kidnapper finally realized his mistakes and dropped him off there, alive... The optimist deep down inside of me wanted to believe that could happen. For a few seconds I found myself believing that it actually WOULD happen. But my general pessimistic, logical mood won out again and I knew it wouldn't happen. That's not what you would write. You'd go on with the tragedy, or in this case, simple 'angst' as described by the story description. And that is why I think it should have been marked as a 'tragedy' story.

"I'm the smart one. But I'm not afraid to take a risk."

"If we never flew, we would never fall."

Ironic. I took a risk, and, well. I flew and I fell.

...

Lame irony on my part. Moving on.

On the subject of character deaths. I'm not quite sure how I feel about them. I would call them bittersweet if the bitter didn't outweigh the sweet by so much. I suppose that's why bitter has six letters while sweet has only five. I just can't stand stories where one of the main Big Time Rush boys dies. Not because I think they're horrible, mind you. But because they make me so sad. Two may be better than one, but here and now, four is better than anything else. Having to go through a story without actions or words from one of them because they're dead just kills me. Yeah, yeah, I know you never really killed off Logan. But having him gone, kidnapped, is just the same feeling.

Yet I keep coming back. This could be considered the sweet part of bittersweet. I'm addicted. Addiction normally isn't a good thing. I can't tell whether it is or isn't in this case either. But it's the slightly more positive of the two. So it's sweet by force, not by entitlement. Anyway, I keep coming back to read angst and tragedy and character deaths and masochism and the list goes on and on and on.

You can take that as a compliment, if you want to. I don't know if it should be. I don't know a lot of things anymore.

I didn't listen to the song. Sorry. It might have driven me over the edge considering what you said about it, and I'm the kind of person who loves to connect music and emotions and life. All right. I'm just making excuses again. The real reason is because I'm a lazy idiot whose eyes hurt from staring at fanfiction and this review box.

There was a bit more I wanted to say, but honestly I've been sitting here typing this out and thinking as usual for a whole two hours. Well, more like and hour and fifty-six minutes. Almost two hours, so I rounded it up. I've constantly been rethinking each thing I've said, whether I should tell the truth or tell yet another lie. Two hours in which I was supposed to be working on my Christmas Break homework. And in that time I forgot that stuff I wanted to tell you about.

I'm sorry that this wasn't a proper review. I've just been venting and spilling thoughts and telling the truth. Nothing important, really. I guess I just felt like it. Maybe you'll find something positive in the idea that you really got through to me this time. It's kind of likely now that I just gave you the idea. I don't even know if you'll read this though. It's really stupid and winding on and on and on about practically nothing. I don't even know if you read my other reviews. I'm not even your friend. You don't even know me. Am I supposed to reply to the PM responses to reviews? If that's right, I swear, I didn't know.

There were some quotes that really affected me. I don't remember them all. But I'll try to make up for this rambling review. I'll try. No promises.

"There was a day when he was grateful that he felt like a horrible person because of the relief that filled him because he wasn't one of those people. Those days are long gone. He'd give anything to have them back."

Loss of innocence. A theme reverberating around the English classes on campus right now, so I just had to mention it. I'd love to have my own innocence back. I bet Kendall would too. I think the same thing about these ads when I see them, which is expected. I haven't lost anybody this way yet so I still hate feeling like a horrible person. Every time I think "well, I'm glad it's not me", I shudder at myself and think about how I would feel if my little brother was kidnapped. He's my little brother and most of the time he's really annoying.

But I can't imagine life without him. I would die inside.

Like James.

"He dresses quickly, careful to avoid looking at the scars on his arms. He's ashamed of his scars. It's been five months since he last hurt himself by dragging a razor blade over his tender skin. He's been getting help since then. They all have. One could say that he's made improvements since his secret was discovered but James isn't so sure. Inside he's just as broken."

So sad... I've been wondering, if you're cutting or doing something else depressing and unhealthy, whether for your mind or body, and the problem hasn't ended, will you ever really heal? Even with therapy. It's been about five minutes since I typed 'therapy'. Since this seems to have turned into a confession review, I guess I should just say it now and get it over with.

A while ago I was thinking about cutting. Even though I'm probably nowhere near as depressed as some others are. My reasons were because of my parents. To cut just to go against their wishes. They're so controlling. I could do it if I wanted to. I'm a Boy Scout and so is my brother and my dad is an adult leader in our troop so there are pocketknives lying around the house in almost every room. I don't mind pain. I crack my toes and fingers when I'm sad or bored or pretty much all the time. It hurts until I hear them crack. Then it feels
Roxas13 3 chapter 1 . 12/31/2010
I love it. The way the story goes with the song and the way your story have a way of bringing out the other side of life. It make me see how graet I have it. I hope you keep writting you stories and when you get I would love to read your to this story sequel. 3
AbbyMasrai chapter 1 . 12/31/2010
Ok...so never in a million years would I have guessed this song. Mostly because I've never heard it before. It's funny that you chose a Daughtry song...I always get annoyed when his song "September" plays on the radio because I think it's SO overplayed (seriously, I heard it today, in fact). And I think the fact it's always that song has made me feel annoyed every time a Daughtry song is on. But...I took your advice and listened to it before, during, and even now as I write this. It's seriously stunning. I received an iTunes gift card for Christmas...and I'm definitely buying this song.

Now, onto the story: I...I don't even know how to start this. Wow. At first, I was so engrossed in your story that I didn't even listen to the lyrics of "All These Lives." I have a nasty habit of doing that. But, as I continued to read (and press repeat)…ugh, the review box is jumping…blah. I’m transferring this to a Word Document, cuz this is gonna take a while (hope you don’t mind). Anyways, as I was saying…as I continued to read this story and listen to the song, the lyrics magically found their way to my brain…which is a wee bit odd considering even when I do listen to the lyrics I have a hard time understanding them. And I must say…it is absolutely the most perfect song for this story. It’s like they’re meant for each other.

“It's not a long walk and thanks to the efforts of Kendall and his two best friends, the driveway is free of the two feet of snow that last night's storm dumped on their small neighborhood.” – When I read this line, I knew that we were in trouble. And I knew with you, it would be trouble of the most angsty proportion.

“It was one of those 'Have You Seen Me?' features nearly hidden at the bottom of an advertisement circular. So many times, Kendall has seen these pictures of smiling boys and girls, men and women who have disappeared. There was a day when he felt a deep sorrow for the family members and friends of these missing people. There was a day when he was grateful that he felt like a horrible person because of the relief that filled him because he wasn't one of those people. Those days are long gone. He'd give anything to have them back.” – Gosh, I can totally relate. I think the vast majority of us can relate. But man, what a reality check for him.

Kidnap. Though, I’ve never had personal experience, it’s something that matters to me greatly. I’ve watched many a specials on kidnappings, particularly children kidnappings. And it’s absolutely one of the most horrible things of this world. I mean, someone has to truly be sick in the head to commit such an act. To see those parents pleading to the media in hopes of reaching the culprit, begging for the return of their baby…man, I’m almost choking up at the very thought. Like the song says, “You’re not a person, you’re a disease.”

I really loved how you went back in forth between the present and different points in the past. It really portrayed the after effects of such trauma beautifully.

Ahh! It’s officially midnight where I am. Happy New Year! I’m glad I’m doing something productive during the earliest hours of the year.

“During the days, James spent literally hours, waiting by the phone, waiting for the call that never came. During the nights, he laid awake for hours, half of him sure that the phone would ring then, the other half of him terrified that the monster would return to take someone else he loved. He wasn't alone. They were all like that in the beginning.” Oh poor James! He has to turn to self-injury to take some of the pain away…it’s so sad. I just want to hug him and buy him ice cream (not sure why this is always my solution to problems…hmm…)

”He Kendall and Carlos were forced to go back to school where they wandered around like zombies, barely passing their classes, not because they had lost their tutor, but because they had lost their best friend.” – OH MY GOSH I LOVED THIS! This is just gorgeous.

I could never be a cop. I hate when people cry and I hate being in the middle of conflict. Seriously, it literally makes me shake sometimes. But I could never be cool or calm when telling the victim’s loved ones any bad news I’d receive. I’d probably start crying like a madwoman. And I felt bad for Chief Joseph Randall…it must be really hard to be in shoes in instances like this. He seemed to care so much.

“Carlos stares in disbelief at the man in front of him. The man that used to be his hero for as long as he could remember.” –This part…wow, such power behind the words. I seriously got chills. And when he told his dad that he hates him for giving up…so intense. And when his dad went up to his room to hug him and Carlos resisted but then finally gave in…I just want to cry. He’s so broken, and I just want to fix him!

Oh gosh, it’s really hard to see the three of them interact now that Logan’s gone. They’re just so…lost. Lost and jaded by the realities of humanity. I wish it didn’t have to be that way, but unfortunately life can be incredibly cruel.

And how during each flashback they kept time of how long it had been since Logan was kidnapped? Heartbreaking. Completely and utterly heart wrenching. It’s like you put my heart in the garbage disposal and turned it on, shredding it to a million tiny gory pieces.

Aww! They all blamed themselves! It makes me so sad. I just want to hug them and tell them it’s not their fault!

Ok, so the whole scene where they had their lit candles float out to the lake…stunning. I mean it. I loved how you described it and I could visualize it my head. I really really loved it. I mean, I love it so much that I am now convinced that it should be mandatory to always do it for this occasion. It’s so pretty.

Camille…geez, I know she kind of bugs me but I just felt so bad for her in this story. I mean, she truly loved Logan and to see someone you love taken…wow, I don’t know what I would do with myself.

Ah, Kendall. He couldn’t contain his sadness any longer. It was such a beautiful image in my head, to see Kendall on his knees sobbing as he looked on to a lake full of lit candles. Gorgeous. But so devastating to read.

“All they can do is hope.” Beautiful, beautiful way to end it. It’s so true. Life becomes incredibly dark and meaningless without hope to light the way. The unknown is such a scary place to stand before. It can be overpowering. To not hope is to fuel its power and control over you. And one should never ever give the unknown that power.

If you’re still reading this, you must be blessed with patience. And I’m blessed to have met and conversed with you. I definitely consider you to be one of my best friends, too, and I am always inspired and in awe of your talent. This is extraordinary. I wish I could find another, better word to describe it, but I can’t. And I can’t believe you dedicated it to me. I’m so grateful and from the bottom of my heart, I thank you a million times.

I should probably end this since I’ve been thinking and writing this review for almost an hour now. But, truly, thank you for being so amazing.

I LOVE YOU, LAURA AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT!
LIV3xLAUGHxL0V3 chapter 1 . 12/31/2010
I love this song so much :) Way to make me cry in the 1st hour of 2011, haha. Please write a sequel to this! And please have logan return home in one piece
Molly chapter 1 . 12/31/2010
Talk about irony.

Earlier tonight I was reading a book called Daisy Chain about a girl who is kidnapped.

It was freaking me out and I couldn't sleep so I started to read fanfictions to take my mind off it.

And then your update is a story about someone being kidnapped! Lol!

That was so sad :( good, but sad! I want to know the end. Please write a sequel!
Livin'LaVidaLoki chapter 1 . 12/31/2010
sequel! please!
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