|Reviews for Power|
| Ghost of the Dawn chapter 38 . 1/5
Wow! I have finally finished! I really zipped through the last handful of chapters because I was hooked as they were running through the villain's stronghold. This was a really neat idea for a story and I love me some monsters so I enjoyed the wide variety of monsters the story had. I also enjoyed Rachel and Sileny as characters. Especially how they kept trying to be smart and stay out of it instead of constantly putting themselves in the middle of the danger. I did think sometimes the story stretched a little too far to keep them involved and I didn't quite understand the reason, but it was fine. I still enjoyed reading it.
Some critiques: This story didn't nearly have the same problem as the last one with the unimportant dialog. There was only that scene where Rachel spent nearly the entire chapter recapping everything we just read about to Ryo that was a bore to get through. The rest of it clipped along pretty well.
Both stories do suffer from a great many typos. Everything is spelled correctly, but the wrong word is put in. If you are not taking the time to read through your chapters and get out all the mistakes before posting, I highly suggest doing that. Or maybe finding a beta. I can forgive a few typos, but these stories have so many it does look like there is very little attempt to proofread before posting.
The biggest weakness of this story is, while I think it is a very good story, this is really the barest of bare bones for this fic. The writing is as thin as possible and often times it isn't enough to fully explain what is going on. Often times I was confused because the story didn't tell me enough, especially in the actions scenes. Characters often did things for reasons I didn't understand and I was confused about where we were or who was in the scene and a lot of monsters I just couldn't picture in my head because the story never described anything for my imagination to build upon. There were many good scenes that were skipped altogether and it felt like lazy writing.
It really would have served this story well if you were to take time to set up your scenes, delve into all the great monsters and mythology this story covers, give us some awesome visuals and some nice, choreographed fight scenes. You had so many great ideas with this story, it really deserved to be fleshed out more. I know we are all busy and sometimes this is all we have time for. Maybe an extended version would be a project for the future when your series is finished and you've gained more experience as a writer. Looking forward to the next book.
| Ghost of the Dawn chapter 26 . 1/4
This is a great chapter! And Kento coming in at the nick of time was awesome! I was so stoked to see him!
| Ghost of the Dawn chapter 23 . 1/4
So awesome that you had some scenes in Aokigahara. This place fascinates me. I wish the story would have taken a bit more time to talk about it for those readers who aren't familiar with it. Also just take some time to really soak up the atmosphere of this place before moving on with the plot.
| Ghost of the Dawn chapter 21 . 1/4
I really like this chapter. The scene of White Blaze appearing at the door injured was very engaging and I just wanted to hug him. I also like this villain's motives as a collector of powerful things. It's different from the usual types of baddies we see in RW fiction. In fact, all the villains have been refreshingly original.
| Ghost of the Dawn chapter 11 . 1/1
Rachel... kinda cheated by throwing that rock. Sage's honor shouldn't have let him attack while the kitsune was distracted. But then again, Cye's life was on the line and I'm sure he value's his friends more than honor. So happy Cye is going to be okay! Also happy to see Cale, he's my fave.
| Ghost of Dawn chapter 10 . 12/30/2016
I am slowly making my way through the second one now. All the different monsters from around the world are kind of fun. And refreshing. It isn't something I've seen in fanfiction before and I'm also curious what's going to happen between Sage and this Kitsune.
One small critique at this point: It seems weird even though the Warlords are in the story, they are hardly utilized. Even when Sekhmet is brought in, it's kind of treated like he isn't a capable warrior. The guys worried about leaving Cye in the apartment to go fight, but Sekhmet could protect him. And why aren't any of the Warlords or Kayura helping at this point? Our poor guys have been beat up pretty bad and they've been left to keep fighting despite their wounds. They could probably use some back up. But we're also only 1/3 into this story. Maybe there will be some good scenes of the Warlords kicking butt later in the story.
| Kaylynn85 chapter 35 . 6/24/2014
Woot woot! Totally made my night seeing that you had added this chapter. I am completely in love with this story series. You are knocking my socks off with your awesomeness. I hope all is going well for you and thank you for continually writing and working to finish this story. Can't wait for the next chapter!
| julissa chapter 1 . 6/10/2014
I finished reading all 35 chapters and it just can't end this way, how are the Robin and warlords going to defeat the golem, please don't let it end this way, it'll be so sad that their lives are over, can't wait for the next chapter :)
| Kaylynn85 chapter 34 . 4/7/2014
This was awesome! I can't wait for the epic fight! The guys are gonna shred this guy for sure. Especially after the girls had been drug into this and have had their share of injuries. I have loved this fic since you started it and I'm so glad you're finishing it. You are very talented! Keep up the amazing work!
| Guest chapter 34 . 3/25/2014
Love this story. We all know the guys were going to fight to get free. I want to see Haytie fry.
| Kaylynn85 chapter 30 . 3/20/2014
Update update update! I'm dying over here! I've been checking back everyday for an update. I gotta know how it ends!
| jedidiahbeloved chapter 30 . 2/26/2014
Girl, this is awesome! I can't wait for the next chapter! This is the best fan fic I have ever read. Please update soon! I read this whole fic in a day and a half. :-)
| darkstorm54 chapter 12 . 2/9/2013
Great story. Please finish. Can't wait for the rest.
| RoseJustice chapter 12 . 11/20/2012
Can't wait for the next chap!
| jazzmonkey chapter 10 . 4/6/2012
Another great chapter! Keep up the good work! I can't wait to see what happens next! This just gets better and better... X)
I really love the way you describe their relationships. They're really good friends. Update soon! Please!