|Reviews for Broken Windows|
| mygooddog chapter 5 . 3/19
WOW that was HOT!
| JustMePMM chapter 13 . 2/15
Lemons aside loved your story every bit of it
| JustMePMM chapter 1 . 2/11
Your right that was one long chapter! But one amazing start can’t wait to read on
| blondferretgirl chapter 13 . 9/12/2017
| noflowers chapter 13 . 1/23/2017
I loved your story. Thank you for sharing it with us. I have three questions.
Who was the snitch within the Mason Foundation?
Why was the first lioness protective of Bella instead of predatory? It almost seemed as if there was going to be something significant surrounding that.
Why were Alice & Jasper leaving the family? Yes, she saw the Volturi coming, hence the blocking, but why did they have to leave the Cullen's, and take so long to return?
All in all, a really good tale! Thank you. X
| bella0609 chapter 3 . 11/18/2016
We are almost at Chapter One and we can get moving forward. I needed to get back to this story!
| Ticcing Bat chapter 1 . 11/4/2016
oh this is so good!
| bella0609 chapter 2 . 9/5/2016
Looking forward to the rest of the story!
| bella0609 chapter 1 . 9/2/2016
Yes, an incredible first chapter. A lot of your stories have chapters like this...
| Kopec82 chapter 7 . 8/24/2015
Wth? Alice go away
| Kopec82 chapter 1 . 8/23/2015
| fanfictionalcolic chapter 13 . 7/7/2015
| sexyalex chapter 1 . 1/27/2015
This story is amazing!
| NetGirl42 chapter 6 . 1/26/2015
I see that you run a blog critiquing other authors. I want to offer you some of my own about this story because it looks like you're ok with it.
As my first review said, I really liked the beginning of this. I noticed that you used Angel a lot in it. I have to stop reading now because it's like Edward doesn't care about Bella's uniqueness. He hardly ever uses her real name and calls her Angel 33 times in this chapter. If you go back through the previous chapters, you'll realize that you use it well over 100 times. I got it chapters ago. He thinks she's perfect, like an Angel. But it shows how self-centered Edward is, making him unlikable. It's like he's hitting us over the head with a bat whenever he talks to the woman he claims he loves. I don't think that's the reaction you're going for. It's obsessive and degrading how many times he calls her this. It shows a lot more about his character than his actions do. For that reason, I can't read any more.
Consider revising the dialogue in this story. Just take Angel out. In almost all of the scenes he calls her this, they are alone. We will understand who he's talking too. Think about using Angel a couple of times every few chapters. It'll have more meaning if it's not over used like it is and won't offend the reader's intelligence or understanding about how much he worships her. You made that perfectly clear early on and so the rest isn't needed. This way, it won't take us away from the story.
| NetGirl42 chapter 1 . 1/26/2015
I really like this story. It's mysterious and makes me want to read more of it. Great work!