Reviews for Moondance
Guest chapter 24 . 2/5
Pleeeeease, write more, I know it has been a long time til you last updatet but I want so read more so please please go on
Guest chapter 24 . 1/28
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Fredrick Bismarck chapter 24 . 1/16
I'm glad she made up with Jacob. Hopefully he becomes a larger part of the story. I see alice and bella on the edge of admitting their feelings. It just needs to spill over already. We've waited long enough. You promised once it does, it will pick up exponentially in the bellice lovin'. You can't leave it here. You yourself hated the writing edward. Now you don't have to. You've reached the good part! They haven't reach it yet! Please continue. Wonderful work.
Fredrick Bismarck chapter 23 . 1/16
I like the storytime as well. I always like the backstories and mythology especially when expounded upon and put to dramatic effect rather than in the passing. Kate seems like a great addition. Some pranking sounds fun. Kristen Bell's character from heroes had a similar ability though no touch required and actual physical electricity?
Fredrick Bismarck chapter 22 . 1/16
I don't have much to say, but amara is growing on me with this chapter. She's not too intrusive and seems to fit in. The only complaint is that with the addition of this amara, there's undoubtly going to be some time dedicated to growing her character, but I feel you haven't really explored Bella's interaction with the other Cullens nearly enough, which bothered me a lot more in canon, one of many things. I know it should be focused on alice and bella and rightly so, but introducing a major character when the others need their time crowds the place a bit I guess. I guess it would be different if she was introduced from the onset, but in the middle its a little jarring. Maybe really that's just me. I just think her professions of family should be backed up some with bonding time.
Fredrick Bismarck chapter 20 . 1/16
In the total surprise of the last scene, I forgot to compliment Angela for what a wonderful person and friend she it. I wish for her happy ending as well. So, it really didn't happen. Sort of sucker punchy. Oh well, got riled up for nothing. I would have been fine if it did happen. Would have been an interesting direction. I just wonder how edward really is feeling. For him the relationship was a profound thing, in his words, especially as a vampire, a static being, where changes are huge events. Maybe even a bit disgruntled as he was the one who brought her in and gave her his family and may continue to see her. I don't know how I feel about the new character, amara. Does her presence mean deviations from the newborn threat plotline? Will she be an out for Jasper and Alice's relationship?
Fredrick Bismarck chapter 19 . 1/16
Oh wow, wow, wow. I never thought this would happen. I thought they loved her enough beyond her association with Edward, as family. I don't know if this is forgivable. They put edward first. I thought they promised. But they at least we're willing to come say bye themselves with no lies. There's at least a certain one sided dialogue, but a dialogue nonetheless. Still this second abandonment is hard to take despite the candidness of it. It doesn't take away from the betrayal and selfishness. This is not done for her safety at all but purely choosing him over her. Then there's the growing newborn threat and victoria. The wolves can't completely cover everything. And the commitments already... made such as graduation, the graduation party, etc. very impulsive it seems. If they cared for her even a little, they would stay to at least deal with victoria. They are all to blame to a certain degree, but edward reached new heights of selfishness. If his original plan worked out this is what would happen. Did he think she would always want him if he was present? What happen to loving her enough to let her not love him. This doesn't apply to if he is present? Just another aspect of his controlling personality. He was never confronted with this in canon. This doesn't take her away from the supernatural world either. Volterra still awaits as well. Then again... Is this a dream? Can't be... There's probably much more to say but I can't think right now. Awesome, awesome chapter.
Fredrick Bismarck chapter 18 . 1/15
The way Renee describes falling out of love is a little gentle. I mean, maybe bella was suppose to learn something from her relationship with Edward. It helped her grow into a better person, but I don't know if she should look back on it with found memories like Renee and Charlie. Any memories are tainted with powerlessness, helplessness, low self esteem, and a few lies. Just general emotional abuse. More like a cautionary tale than nostalgia. Her relationship with edward wasn't healthy at all. the rest of the Cullens care for her beyond her association with Edward, and maybe it wasnt just him she was broken up about when they all left. It just that he was the one she focused on. But he nearly killed himself and came back all for her. Now, coming back came to nothing, but it what he tried to give her by going away, but it came a little late, and that might hurt more. He only got a part of his intentions as she is still associated with the supernatural world and falling for his sister. How will he react to some or any of this? Renee assumed Jacob at first, but I wonder how she will react to alice when it finally comes to fruition. Lastly, I'm glad you covered your bases wih edward reading Renee's mind. I wonder if alice saw the conversation? Not likely I think. I hope bella realizes soon that everything she use to feel with Edward, she now feels wih alice. Overall, the whole chapter was excellent, very emotional and dramatic. The last scene was heartbreaking.
Fredrick Bismarck chapter 17 . 1/15
Now she has to understand the reason behind her moments of jealousy. There's a definite growing separation from edward, and she's coming to see how he really is. I really hope alice is further along or on the same page as bella with these feelings. It seem like she is. Lastly, I wonder if the Denalis will become more involved. I always thought it strange that they would refuse to help family in a life or death situation even if there were some disagreements.
Fredrick Bismarck chapter 15 . 1/15
I don't see much Rosalie and alice interaction in many stories, so this was a nice surprise. The whole girls time was great. it was very cute. I like the serious discussion of Edwards character flaws. It was gentle, but it really touched upon is overbearing treatment, backwards ideas, and blows to Bella's self-esteem. Her in a constant powerless position.
Fredrick Bismarck chapter 14 . 1/15
Oh my, that was wonderful. It's still vague and not fully realized but the feelings are growing steadily. Wake up and recognize it for what it is. Why can't the proverbial rug overflow... Maybe this dream sequence will clue her in.
Fredrick Bismarck chapter 13 . 1/15
Good chapter. Some nice plot developement. The car purchase was fun. The newborn threat is coming along nicely. One thing, I don't like how bella is being pushed to see Jacob. The whole spat is completely on him. He should be the one to reach out. The little jealously scene with bella, alice, and Tyler was fun as well. Never really thought about alice being a target like edward was before bella when the 'older' Cullens graduated.
Fredrick Bismarck chapter 11 . 1/14
In canon, it makes no difference since the Volturi made an ultimatum, but bella could have considered it more, not jump in poorly informed. She didn't consider what it means to be a vampire, something you have to live with forever. Not that it matters, and she may actually end up wanting it, but it's the principle and a measure of her character. Here, she says she has considered it and knows what she's getting into, but it hasn't really been shown explicitly that is the case. But just the fact that it's addressed, I guess we can assume so and think better of her for it. As for Rosalie, I would like to think she wouldn't begrudge bella becoming a vampire if she went in fully informed and not just on emotion like her transformation. Conceding that people want different things and not always the same thing oneself does. (Well, in other stories that's how it is. I don't like thinking Rosalie would push her desires on others.) It's nice to see bella confront edward on this. He's an idiot. Trying to get him to appolgize to his family as a perfect way to address his unfounded beliefs and the perfectly timed 'shut up' was wonderful. This is one of the more prominent displays of a better, more assertive bella. And wanting alice to change her like alice said she would in Volterra is nice. Here's to hoping this clash with edward leads to many more and Alice's understanding leading to further feelings. Again, I think maybe alice is further along than bella in recognizing her feelings.
Fredrick Bismarck chapter 10 . 1/14
Wow, bella is standing up for herself a bit more and it might reach a tipping point for edward. I'm glad the plot picked up. More directions with consequences. Jacob has a point though. Unintentional hurt or not, needing them or not, lies and truth, it would take awhile for her to be even okay with them if this was normal, but it's like an abusive relationship or something. Well it's already happened. Now can only hope for bella to change from here. The Volturi were actually discussed and in detail with Jacob which is good and interesting.
Fredrick Bismarck chapter 9 . 1/14
Not much to say about this chapter. It was nice seeing Angela. She got some screen time. I think she sees something between alice and bella but maybe not. But I wish you would do so with the other Cullens as well. Bella should get to know more side characters. In canon she seems socially isolated somewhat. Edward wants to hand her off like some prisoner or child. Stupid. And to bring it up again, there hasn't been any mention of the Volturi. Just seems odd when something that big was never discussed and is hang over her head. May the future in general... did she look at college applications? Just looking at the broader picture and things going on around them. Still realistic and great writing even if a bit slow.
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