|Reviews for The Long Road Home|
| Margaret Armstrong chapter 35 . 9/26
This is absolutely, utterly, fabulously brilliant!
I love the grasp you have of ALL the characters, especially the lovely Regulus, who never gets enough love. The idea of Severus as an older friend/somewhat mentor is an extremely interesting dynamic that I'm glad you've decided to explore.
And even though we may not see the rest of the story after this FABULOUS revelation, I've put it on my Favorites for further happy perusal.
| Velgamidragon chapter 35 . 9/16
... Well SHIT! I never expected that twist! I confess myself saddened that this fic has not been updated since almost two years ago which probably means it has little hope of being updated further with any speed. Nonetheless, I am properly satisfied with what I have read thus far and will expound upon all that I have enjoyed immensely about this fic.
To begin, I confess that I had some trepidation about this fic. I have seen many different kinds of HP AUs where one (or a few) small details are changed or a different decision was made thus resulting in a vastly different AU. I have seen some fantastic ones, I have seen some poorly-executed ones, and I have seen some that I've had absolutely no interest in whatsoever. Yours, I must say, falls under the fantastic category for many, many reasons.
I knew from the very first chapter that contained Harry's POV that I was hooked and invested into this story and had faith that it would continue to satisfy me as I read on. I say this because Harry actually feels like a six year old kid. There have been so many times where I have read a HP fic (not even necessarily an AU one) where Harry either sounds too old for his age or too young, but I don't have that problem here. And not only does he sound age appropriate, he sounds age appropriate for how a kid would deal with the kinds of familial and social situations he's being put through; I can certainly vouch for these thought patterns, having grown up in a semi-troubled home life myself. There are many people who don't know what that's like and can't even begin to imagine what kids think at those ages, so I'm extremely pleased to see that Harry and Malachi have been handled correctly for their ages and situations.
Secondly, the characters. Oh, you have done BEAUTIFUL work with the characters. They're not OOC and they're not stagnant non-changing entities and their relationships with other characters shift and mold and alter, but it doesn't change their core beings and how they perceive the world. Along this vein, I'm happy that the POVs of every single character feel so vastly different that it's no problem at all for me to keep up with the minds of all the different characters we've entered. On that note, I must applaud you for how you've handled Severus, in particular, because he is such a wonderfully complex character all on his own which only serves to make his interactions and relationships with others doubly so in regards to how he's perceived and perceives himself (and too frequently do I see him bungled up in fics). Still in line with the characters, I love your OCs. OCs are a natural concern I have when it comes to fanfics because of the many ways that people use them, but I greatly admire what you've done with yours. They're not obtrusive in the slightest and they help fill the AU world you have created and giving them proper levels of importance depending upon their roles to the story and their relationships to others. I suppose Julia could use a bit more work in fleshing her out, but I'm only realizing that in hindsight now that I'm thinking about it and everyone else has been top notch. None of them are distracting us from the main story and surrounding subplots and I admire your skill in their creation.
And on that note, specifically on the relationship aspect (which often goes hand-in-hand with character development), I am completely in love with how Severus's and Lily's relationship is developing. It doesn't feel like it's rushed or unbelievable given where they started. They've had a history, but that's not what's enabling the two of them to feel comfortable and happy with each other. No, their history merely makes them familiar to certain aspects of their characters while highlighting the ways they've changed over the years, but it is particularly the fact that they are communicating with each other in order to actually keep their newly reconstructed friendship this time. You have no idea how pleased and proud I was that you had Severus acknowledging that it was a communication breakdown that caused the "mudblood" tongue slip to prove to be so desperately fatal to their friendship. Part of my pleasure stems from the fact that this type of situation (friends in school, but lack of communication causes them to distance and separate and then not see each other for at least ten years only to suddenly unexpectedly end up back in each others' lives and becoming friends again) is EXACTLY what happened to my mom and stepdad. My stepdad told me that once he and Mom agreed they were going to start dating again, they talked about what had gone wrong with their first relationship (they were dating) to figure out if it was something that could be overcome so that they wouldn't be put through the same pain of the past all over again. Needless to say, considering that this IS a Severus/Lily story and Lily has Harry therefore him being Harry's stepdad if Severus and Lily get married, that communication acknowledgement (and subsequent sharing of secrets) bares a very good omen in my book.
Ahh and last, but certainly not least, the plots and subplots themselves. As I previously mentioned, this is very clearly a Severus/Lily story, but it's not overbearingly so. It's developing right alongside other lifetime events, and that's something I truly admire about this story. Life doesn't just stop happening around you when you begin a relationship; it happens in tandem with it and I don't run into very many stories in general (not just in HP fandom) that can pull that off, but you do fantastic. Beyond that, I'm also equally grateful for the subplots because not only do they help give the story more bulk and similarity to real life, but I genuinely enjoy them, and not just because they flesh out the characters you're working with in this AU.
So even though I'm disappointed that the story hasn't been updated since 2013 and is only halfway through, I don't regret having read what already exists. It has been my absolute joy to read such a wonderfully-crafted story, so thank you. Thank you so much for giving us this much at least. :)
| Single.Dream.of.My.Soul135 chapter 35 . 6/25
This story's brilliance is beyond any words of praise O can muster, please come back and finish this
| Balthanon chapter 35 . 5/28
I was hoping that this had been finished and simply hadn't been marked complete. I do hope you eventually have a chance to come back to it though. I've quite enjoyed the story over the past couple of days, in particular the pacing of the story which hasn't been too slow or fast and the characterizations of most everyone in the story.
| hule chapter 35 . 5/20
It would be great if you found the time and the mood to really is one of the best stories about the subject I have read and it would be such a pity if you plot got lost.
| TwoSoulsEntwined chapter 35 . 4/18
Please update soon! I am very interested in seeing what is going to happen
| Lancun chapter 35 . 4/5
As one of the finest written Sev/Lily stories I've seen on this site, I was a bit disappointed when I saw this chapter was it. Nonetheless, we all know that life comes up and causes us to be busy and shy away from things that we were working on as a hobby. I'll thank you for what you've done and eagerly await any continuation that comes up.
Severus, in particular, is written quite closely to what I'd imagine him to be in a happier universe with Lily still alive. A bit less of a bitter edge as the canon Sev, a bit more of a shy happiness at her presence. His back and forth with Regulus is also more of an understanding companionship than most other stories portray as well as you do. My heart sank when Reg lost Evelyn; it almost put him in the same shoes that Sev was in during the books. How he manages to carry on baffles me.
Lily's stubbornness and holding on to James isn't out of character either, what with losing a husband and her son losing a father. It's only natural that she'd go so far to try to restore that pillar back to her and her son's lives. Doesn't make it any less frustrating that she's focusing on the past and not on the now, but it's wonderful to see her break free of those chains slowly thanks to her interactions with Severus.
I'll be honest, I LOVE Sev and Lily stories, they're most of what I read on this site, but I made this account to specifically post my thoughts and to try to encourage you to continue the story whenever you're up to it. It's incredibly well-written, and there's a lovely combination of budding romance, mystery, tragedy, humor, as well as character development across this first half of your story. So much so that I read all 35 chapters in one sitting, so much reading at once hasn't happened for me since Deathly Hallows was released.
I'll simply conclude with a Thank You for writing as far as you have and as well as you have. I'd love to see it concluded at some point whenever you're ready again, and I'm sure I speak for the other 300 follows you've got.
| SwiftWhiteWolf chapter 35 . 9/17/2014
Ive really been enjoying reading this story. The plot twists have kept it very interesting and the way you depict the world as its changing from the childrens POV has truly given the story that little something extra. Ive found that many of the fanfics I read with non-canon pairings tend to be mushy and shallow, so I really do appreciate the depth with which youve depicted the characters relationships to each other. Also, as an OC Malachai seems to be very well thought out. I especially like the Regulus/Malachai moments and like how you havent totally compromised Severuss personality by making him a big softie. I look forward to many more chapters and seeing this story grow :)
| sakura1120 chapter 35 . 7/25/2014
Oh no! Is this really where it ends? I started reading this a few days ago, but hadn't realized it was only about half way done until you said so in an AN a few chapters ago. I do hope you'll come back to work on this story– I see you've worked on others recently. And by the look of how many favorites this story has, it would make a lot of people happy to see it through to its finish.
I'm not sure how to describe my feelings for this story. I will admit that I didn't begin the fondest of some of your character portrayals, namely Lily and Dumbledore. I feel you did rather well with Snape, and it's been wonderful to slowly see him soften throughout this story, start to smile more, be happy. He's still sarcastic and cynical and the Snape we know and love, but the situations throughout this story allow us to see the side of him we only managed to glimpse in the last book and movie, a side we all crave, I think. Lily seemed a little too desperate and stubborn to me, though I do enjoy her character a bit more now that she's letting go of James. I love Harry. He's just plain cute, and I think he's well done for a six year old, whom we can assume from the actual books could have been a rather precocious, adventurous child. Sirius and Remus surprised me in a sad yet pleasant way. They both embody father figures in Harry's life, and I feel as though they were portrayed very well. Remus, I think, is the one who surprised me the most. There's a depth to his character that I had never considered before, his self-denial and insecurities, which, upon reflection, hits right at home. The only time I can remember Remus voicing feelings of his own life were in his worries for Tonks and Teddy, yet it's interesting to consider his fears here to likely be from throughout his life. His and Sirius' division rings true with his suspicion of Sirius in the Prisoner of Azkaban, and in light of their situations in this fic, I could see how it came to be. I feel as though they would have been quicker to forgive each other, that this friendship between the last two Marauders (assuming we can just count Peter out permanently) would have been made stronger due to a necessity for resiliency and faith in something during and after the war, and would not have suffered so much from Peter's betrayal. Nevertheless, I am glad to see their friendship being restored now. Dumbledore worries me somewhat. I would consider him more private than secretive, and one to discreetly withhold information when necessary. The way he flaunts his knowledge with Snape and Regulus and then asks for their trust does not suit him, in my (a reader's) opinion. Yet we still don't know enough about his character to understand his actions, so perhaps with time my view will be changed. I do like this final passage with him.
The, for lack of a better term, daddy issues that Harry has are very well done. Of course this little boy would resent this resolvable void that his mother, he sees, purposefully leaves open. She unintentionally neglects him, and all he sees is that she is gone for his unknown father's sake, and his Uncles are the only fathers he wants or knows. Although, I will reiterate, I believe Lily's actions were pushed quite far, Harry's reactions to them are quite believable. He loves his mother and misses her, and just wants her to let go of James so that she can spend more time and affection on him. Besides, being friends with Ron, I'm sure he's been dying for a sibling of his own, one that he could only have if his mother moved on. I'm glad he has Malachi now, and it's interesting how the parallel between the two of them and Lily and Regulus have occurred. I rather like it. I also have hope for Snape becoming much more paternal and taking on the role of a godfather. Although he can clearly see Regulus's responsibilities to his own son, Severus doesn't quite see the role he could play in Malachi's life, the importance of not just helping Regulus along in fatherhood but of learning to be more compassionate and kind with this one child, the one likely closest to him, so that hopefully he will one day come to understand his students more also. Besides, I want to see him be a dad for Harry, and a good one at that, though I don't think he'll lose his cynicism entirely. I can see him softening more now, especially after this last chapter at the festival.
I'm excited to see how this turns out, but until then I'll be daydreaming about a Snape that smiles more, a Harry and Malachi who are much more loved and appreciated, and friendships that become stronger with the pressure of these last several and upcoming years. Is all of this going to happen? Maybe not. I believe a good story has to fall short of some of the readers' expectations, otherwise we'd get too expectant with life and not know how to handle the trials we're handed, much like Lily or especially Regulus. But that's all up to you :) I hope you'll update soon, and that this review has reminded you, at least in part, of why you began this story and why so many of us have fallen in love with it. As a final side-note, I'll be leaving the country and my beloved computer/lifeline to fanfiction for 18 months starting in one month, as I'm going on a mission trip, otherwise I would review when I could, but I'll hope upon hope that when I come back there will be an update for this.
| somebody chapter 1 . 5/15/2014
I know. I know it's unhealthy to get addicted to something that hasn't been updated in six months.
That doesn't mean I'll stop coming here every day.
| Chantilly's Mom chapter 35 . 4/26/2014
I've really enjoyed reading this story so far and hope that one day you will get back to it. It has so much potential and is so well written. Thank you for sharing.
| coccinellee chapter 35 . 4/23/2014
Oh my goodness the suspense is killing me! Plus I want to see them both happy together! I love your writing style. Everything is so believable, so realistic! It's the first time I've read a fanfic with such young children and I must admit that I'm surprised at how well it is done. Bravo!
| crazykrew chapter 1 . 4/21/2014
i know earlier i said if it was james... but then i thought what if the fortune was a person already marked... what if it was his death eaters... i mean even though he thought of them as his servants it doesn't change that he has saw fit to have them severe him... and in turn called them his equal...
just a thought...
| crazykrew chapter 35 . 4/21/2014
OH, you can't leave us hanging... update please...
it was james that was marked wasn't it... the comma... hes probably holding him at bay...
i do kinda of hope that james does come back, with the aid of their work, so lily can pick severus...
| Kendra Dhyanna chapter 35 . 3/23/2014
Entonces es Harry?