|Reviews for Oracle of Darkness|
| SephirothsFlame chapter 2 . 4/10/2011
Although there are spelling mistakes, you write in great detail and you make the main character have a brain (such as naming the phanlanx). Great story, hope you could keep it up.
| I Read For the Content chapter 2 . 1/4/2011
Well done so far! I have to say that you're evoking the atmosphere...alright. The first few paragraphs are saturated with words like "was" and "had" almost every sentence, and it seemed dry after the fourth sentence in a row that started "X had done such and such" or something like that.
That...and you kind of skipped EVERYTHING in the Boletarian Palace section. No finding of the hidden merchant, no rescue of Ostrava, and no encountering of the Dragon on the bridge. There wasn't even a fight with a blue eyed knight!
Another thing is that a good portion of the dialogue in chapter one is lost within the paragraph. Start a NEW paragraph whenever someone new starts talking, even if you end up with only one line paragraphs. This is story writing, not an essay, so the rules are different.
...yeah...looking back it seems like I'm slamming you pretty hard, but I'm hoping you'll take it for what it is: constructive criticism. I'll say it again: I LIKE this story. It has potential. Keep going with it, bt maybe take the time to touch up the chapters you already published, you'll net more readers and keep them that way.
Good luck to you.
Bring more Souls, slayer of demons!
| snoozbuster chapter 2 . 1/1/2011
The first chapter was very good; I saw no mistakes in it and it was divided nicely. A tad short, but oh well. This second one, however, is a big block of text. / Might wanna break that up a bit. I've never heard of this game, is it any fun?