Reviews for Scenes from a war machine
S-Bumblebee chapter 5 . 2/2/2011
This was amazing...without a doubt, I'm going to say that this is the best piece you have written yet! Your description of death, how it smells different to each person, the fact that the Gears seem to have an extra sense for it, like an intuition.

I loved this idea of the passing of information, that those Gears knew of ways of surviving that they had learned from experience, things that some rooks don't live long enough to even learn of by them by themselves.

I also enjoyed the style of writing used in the book, its almost desperation to get the reader to read on, to get the reader to pass the knowledge on to others, and when you mention that the Gears are retired, the first thing I thought was that they knew they weren't going to live much longer...

One thing I did notice though was that Joseph's name changes when he finds the book and you refer to him as Jacob...I'm not sure if its just a shortening of his name, like a nickname or something? I just wasn't sure so I thought I'd ask...

Anyway, an excellent piece indeed, and I found your Authors note amusing :D
S-Bumblebee chapter 4 . 1/16/2011
I don't suppose that's me you're referring to huh? :D

Again, awesome work with this. I especially like how you turned what Delta are (yelling grub killing psychos) into something that defines them as human in the war fueled world that they live in, its an interesting turn around as you read the two speakers perspectives.

Also I'm liking the lack of specific names here, the fact that there are nicknames for each of them depending on their characteristics, its something I'd expect most of the Gears to actually do.

You're descriptions are fantastic, how you described the environment and how you described the guy that was speaking and as he was speaking, the fact he paused for a drag on his smoke almost as if pausing for emphasis. Very nice :)

Only two things I noticed which were spelling errors the first that you used 'Shown' which should be shone. The other isn't really that important which is the Kryll, rather than Krill. I hate to sound picky but its just what I picked up, aside from that a really great piece and you have every right to be proud of it.

I look forward to reading more from you ;)
S-Bumblebee chapter 3 . 1/13/2011
You do a great job of writing differing things, the way you change the perspectives and the style from a piece that is mostly viewing a character to a style where we're relying on dialogue.

I like this piece just as much as the previous two, you have written the dialogue very well without it getting confusing as to who is speaking, and there was an interesting mix of personality. What caught my attention the most was how Richard Bowense changed through the radio transmissions as the seismic activity got closer.

Great work again, I'm going to keep checking up on you ;)
S-Bumblebee chapter 2 . 1/9/2011
I quite like this type of writing you have going here, you pull it off very well, though I wouldn't mind seeing other types, but like I said you pull this off well.

I liked the dialogue between Joseph and his mother, captures what many enlisting gears probably had before they joined. I also like how at this stage the war with the Locust doesn't seem quite so desperate, that they seem to be over looking it as an easy fix, would you be perhaps writing any more on Joseph at a later time?

Again I really like this and I'm interested to see what else you come up with :D Good Job :D
S-Bumblebee chapter 1 . 1/6/2011
Very nice indeed!

I really enjoyed reading this, although it's quite sombre, there's a lot of feeling in there and I really liked how you wrote about his family and how he felt about them. How they were still with him even after, and your descriptions were very nice as well.

Great piece, would like to see more from you :D