Reviews for Deviate
Pecha Pichu chapter 1 . 3/17/2013
Wow, I never thought it like this
darkaccalia520 chapter 1 . 1/20/2013
Okay, please know I pretty much know zilch about Pokemon, but I don't think that hindered me from understanding this in any way. I actually quite enjoyed it. I really liked Ethan. He seems like he's got a good head on his shoulders, and I quite enjoyed the beginning and how he things in the game were being questioned. I don't know why, but I found myself chuckling at Black Belt's reaction to it all. I do like how you explain that Ethan was working to make Charcoal (I am assuming it's canon that this is capitalized, yes?)

I really, really, really enjoyed the conversation with Ariana. No, at first, we don't know her name, but I really loved how they responded to one another. I love how Ethan is a little angry with her at first (and I would be too), but I love how they both calm down and speak maturely then. I love that we learn she's one of the Team Rocket Executives, and I really love when she explains that he disappeared. I love that she explains the motives of the team and I love when she explains how all the changes that occurred are good things. And then when she explains it's more about the journey and how it's about his destiny, that was really, really lovely. I have never once played this game, but I can certainly understand this message having played other games. This was really a wonderful story. Well done. :)
An Unknown girl from Johto chapter 1 . 1/6/2012
WOW. That was...beautiful.
LipsInSpace chapter 1 . 5/22/2011
Great work! I always wondered what those NPCs were thinking while they wait around in the same place day after day waiting for you to come.

Very creative and nice job.
Ice-Eagle Y'siri chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
Awesome story! It's so cool to read this with all the characters omniscient. :)))))))

Well written! I really don't have any suggestions. Just keep doing what you're doing.
SunLight chapter 1 . 1/9/2011
I really like this story! You both explored beyond the game's storyline and made fun of it, AND you voiced some of the creepiness I always felt after finishing a game, and then realizing there's nothing else to accomplish. Arianna's character is also well-developed here. Great job!
manhattan martini chapter 1 . 1/3/2011
Very nice. I'd always thought that way, too, and most of the time my scraps of stories about Gold revolve about the end; what's there to do when you've done it all?

A very nice read.
Farla chapter 1 . 1/3/2011
Hm. This is interesting, but it doesn't feel like you thought it all the way through. The idea of the player character deviating from the path of the game is clever, as everything grinds to a halt waiting for him to continue, but then with Ariana you have a character with her own independent life and backstory. If she can leave her farm to join team rocket, then why is she stuck waiting for the player? Why don't other NPCs decide to strike out on their own? Why doesn't she take his decision to quit, or at least take a break, as a sign she can go back to her farm now and not worry about him showing up? You seem to be both treating them as one-note characters whose purpose in life is to wait for him to arrive and perform some function, saying and doing things based on a script that might not make any sense to them, and as people with their own thoughts and ideas.
Rinaver chapter 1 . 1/2/2011
I've never seen the 4th wall break with so much clarity, great writing, and emotional speech before. You sir, are amazing. At first, I was kinda apprehensive, thinking "Oh gawd. He's using sprites to describe characters," but then as I kept on reading, the 4th wall started breaking and I went back and read through the first have again.

Again, you are amazing. Well done.
Desktop Warrior chapter 1 . 1/2/2011
It's been a while since I've seen something new for you, but man, was this worth the wait.

I love how unorthodox this story is. It makes the reader think about the very mechanics of the Pokemon games themselves, offering a glimpse into a situation where these mechanics are called into question. From this angle, the games look a whole lot different: less like a wide world to explore and more like a prison. When you think about it, the Player character can't /really/ interact independently. They can't respond to other characters and make their own choices. The only thing they're free to do is move around in the limited space that makes up the region they're in.

I know I've felt that way a lot of the time, especially once everything is over; once I've taken out the evil team(s), become the Champion and done everything there is to do in the metagame, anyway. And I love how you touch upon that very feeling with Ethan. Ethan represents not only the Player character but also the person on the other side of the screen, the real-life player who supposedly "controls" the main character. I definitely find myself sympathizing with him when he says he wants to experience as much as possible in the game for as long as possible. It's about the journey, not the destination.

Ariana's character is also very interesting. Like the Black Belt, she represents the NPC whose programming Ethan's independent actions disrupts, but she's also different in that she does something about it, thereby displaying an independence of her own. The Black Belt is more single-minded, shocked by Ethan's independence, but ultimately taking it in stride, harmonizing the new situation with his original programming as much as he can. Ariana, on the other hand, takes it upon herself to do something about Ethan on her own. Ironically, in her attempt to bring him in line with the story as it's "supposed" to be, she betrays her own independent streak. I'm not quite sure what to make of that, but it feels like she's found her own existential freedom, even in the confines of the game's programming. And it looks like she's trying to get Ethan to do the same: accept his role, but use it to free himself.

And then, there's the ending. Could Ariana's invitation to Ethan mean that there's something else for him aside from following the path of the Player character? That maybe the characters have minds of their own, in a way, that we as the real life players can't access? Also, the final line is loaded: "Team Rocket would always be ready." There's just so much I could say about that, but I'd probably run out of space on this review, haha!

In any case, this story brought a tear to my eye. Definitely going on my faves list.