|Reviews for A Firefighter's Worst Nightmare|
| SandyJump chapter 32 . 12/24/2015
more plez more, nice story
| Kim chapter 32 . 9/29/2013
Great story! Can't wait for more!
| Iwillplay chapter 32 . 5/12/2013
This is totally amazing! Your plot started off with one idea and now it's gone in a completely different direction. Who needs continuity, right? I adore your OOC Mike, he's such a stud in this! I would love to have him come brood in his ashes at my house any day. I like how he's just immediately taken up with Tabby with no thought to mourning over his lost relationship with English because let's face it, that's how guys work, right? 32 chapters and no end in sight, I hope we've got another neverending story underway here!
| Guest chapter 31 . 9/17/2012
I guess the thing that bothers me about this story is not the OOC-ness that people keep griping about but the fact that the story seems to have lost its original point and has now gotten mired down in a completely different storyline other than what was started. When the story began (and according to your summary), this was to be about Mike Stoker struggling to recover from an accident that has left him paralyzed. Mike recovered quite a few chapters back and now this has dived into dealing with his relationship issues with English and so it feels like the story has gotten off track because it no longer is about his recovery, but about his relationship problems. But I do admit that I find Mike's portrayal interesting...I don't necessarily agree with it, but it's a very unique characterization and not one I've really seen before.
| kimberly.leach.35 chapter 31 . 9/10/2012
This chapter is fine.
it hits home with me-only wish
i'd had a father like
stoker to look up to.
| ACriticalCritic8745 chapter 30 . 8/24/2012
Initially I was going to avoid commenting on this work, as I've seen the past meltdowns you've had when people have previously offered you constructive criticism, but as you beg for reviews, I will give my honest thoughts in hopes of maybe letting you know why this story is not working.
First, it's a crime against proper writing technique to combine the conversations between characters into a single paragraph. When a new character speaks, that automatically starts a new paragraph, even if it's a single spoken line. Here is an example of what I mean:
"The sky is blue," said Mike Stoker.
"I agree, it's very blue," said English.
You would run those lines together like: ["The sky is blue," said Mike Stoker. "I agree, it's very blue," said English.] And that is a flagrant violation of proper writing technique, plus it creates a dizzying reading effect when one is struggling to discern what character has said what to whom in the story. So NEVER run your conversations together like that, unless you want to give your readers motion sickness as they read.
I'm also not seeing Mike Stoker at all in this story. I see his name and the basic gist of some Emergency! canonic angles, but as to his character, he's non-existent. It's fine for writers to create the characters as they wish, but too much OOC-ness ruins the story, which is what has happened here. I simply cannot see Mike being this bitter or angry or vicious towards his friends and family, and I also cannot see him playing the role of a sulky teenager that has to go hide in the ashes of his barn so as to think. On the show, Stoker always struck me as a forthright character and one likely to confront his problems head on and without the whining pettiness and maudlin self-pity that your Stoker has. Yes, I do realize that he's been injured, but you seem now to have moved off of that angle and onto the battle between him and English over their relationship, and I honestly do not think Stoker would malinger like he has in your story, he seems like the kind of guy that would work towards his rehabilitation as quickly as he could so he could get back into doing what he loves doing. I also think he would be straightforward in his relationship with his love partner and not engage in the mind games he's been playing with English, nor would he allow himself to be played by someone like that, he'd tell them to either piss or get off the pot, in simple terms.
And I agree with the others who have said that your fascination and focus on disabilities, particularly disabled children, is unsettling and odd, bordering on some kind of sick obsession. It would be one thing to have perhaps one story where a child is disabled, but nearly every single one of your stories has that kind of angle to it and my question is why? You say you're trying to portray such things with respect and dignity, yet the way you write them, it often smacks more of exploiting said disabilities for your plot purposes and not to shed any light upon them. Personally if I had a disabled child whose issues were used in such an unseemly fashion, I would be offended and upset to see a problem I was dealing with every day presented solely for plot purposes.
In all honesty, I don't think you have a good grasp of the canon characters, not even in your non-disabled oneshots. You seem to just borrow the characters' names but you shed everything else about them that is even remotely recognizable from the show. You've boasted in the past that Mike Norell approved your work, therefore so should we, but I simply cannot imagine a man that actually wrote and produced several episodes of the show would agree that saddling Captain Stanley with several oddly-named disabled children or crippling Mike Stoker and turning him into a complete jerk is acceptable. You complained that the "She Is Only 12" story got blistered when it first posted and I can see why...it was incredibly OOC, physically hard to get through in terms of being able to actually READ the huge chunks of text, and it was extremely boring, not to mention highly inaccurate in terms of cancer portrayal itself. In addition, no one should have to sit through an excruciatingly LONG author note on how to read the story and what roles the millions of original characters will be playing in the course of the fic because when an author has to tell readers how to enjoy the story, that ruins the purpose of the fic right there. But the biggest travesty was when you eliminated Roy's kids entirely from the story and made him and Joanne childless, when in the show he had a son and a daughter, plus you made Marco such a parody of himself, spouting off gibbering Spanish when he was stressed, that it was rather offensive and in poor taste.
So now go ahead and bite my head off for me, but when you say "Please R&R, I need it!", you WILL get honest opinions of your work that will NOT be the compliments you expect.
| kathyb9760 chapter 29 . 7/12/2012
I think she poked a hole in the condom and there's gonna be a surprise coming! LOL
| lovepeacebird chapter 29 . 7/7/2012
So sad of a story
| Ginger S chapter 21 . 5/26/2011
Thanks for the update...I love getting inside the guy's heads. It sounds like Mike may give in to English. I hope he does.
| Kelmin chapter 16 . 1/26/2011
Wow - can't wait for the hypnosis chapteR!
| kathyb9760 chapter 16 . 1/26/2011
When I was writing fan fiction, I know that you have to get it out of your head or it will drive you crazy! I didn't write all that much, and now, I just write for me b/c I still get ideas I gotta get down "on paper", so to speak. You are never gonna please everyone, and believe me, I never tried to!
So, write what you need to write, and if people want to read it, they will! I don't know why people think they have to give bad reviews, or comments. They don't have to read it! And I do understand the aggravation, too! One person totally took her story off of the website b/c so many people were making ugly remarks about a very good story, AND trying to tell her how she should write it. Ya gotta write it the way you hear it in your head! LOL
It is different, but that's OK! I look forward to reading it!
| Ginger S chapter 16 . 1/26/2011
Interesting how Terry is working through this with Mike. I am sure English is not happy right now. Hopefully she will ride it out and they can be happy together.
| CapLovesHankandKel chapter 14 . 1/20/2011
Well here's another person I can't send a PM to. So I'll put it here. If you're going to critique someone, you should have the courtesy of a private message.
To your first paragraph, ::rolls eyes::.
To your second paragraph, I don't even know where you think I'm being preachy at all. If you don't like spiritual characters, ignore it. It's part of the story and I'm not leaving it out. I am a person of strong faith and it gets passed on to my characters. And as I told Cassidy, I will not defend the use of handicapped folks in my writing. It's a theme I have. Nothing more. Don't like it, don't read it.
But I do have to thank you for some positive feedback you gave me. I don't know though if I'm going to submit the rest of this story or not. People like you just don't get it. And it's making me wonder if I should continue posting it. :-(
| inactiveaccount33 chapter 12 . 1/18/2011
No offense, but you need to fix your formatting. Your second chapter is nothing but one long chunk of text and it's extremely hard to read. And didn't you learn in English class that you're supposed to start a new paragraph when the POV changes, a new character starts speaking, or the action changes? You have different characters speaking in the same paragraphs and it makes it hard to determine who's saying what.
And I agree with Cassidy, the use of disabilities in your work, however well-intentioned it may be, is a bit annoying and smacks of exploitation for plot purposes. I mean, I'm sure you mean well and you try to portray these issues as best you can, but there's a point in which it just becomes too over-the-top and it seems to be an unhealthy obsession in your work. I also take a bit of issue with the preponderance of religious doctrine you have in your stories, you come off as a bit heavy-handed and preachy to those of us who aren't of the Catholic faith. It's fine to have mention of religious beliefs in passing, but you have it in here quite a bit and no offense, but I want to read a story, not get a sermon or a Sunday School lesson.
However, I will admit that the story has got some good insight and overall it's not badly written. It's a different take on Stoker's character and you've shown him to be a strong man, if troubled by his paralysis. You've introduced depression here, an aspect not many authors explore on this site, and it's something that is worth getting further into with Mike, especially since he blames Marco for his injuries. It will be interesting to see how you resolve that conflict with him. I'm not saying the way you've shown him here is good or bad, it's just a very different take on him, as opposed to the usual "shy, quiet Mike" stories out there.
| CapLovesHankandKel chapter 11 . 1/16/2011
It's a shame I can't send you a private message on this so I'll just put it here.
NEVER would I EVER write about disabilities in a disrespectful, exploiting way. I always approach them with respect and try to keep them as accurate as possible. I have been around handicapped people all my life and find them to be very special people that I have nothing but respect and a heart of love for.
That said, I will not defend the pages of this story. I appreciate your feedback all the same though. Thank you for taking the time out to share with me your point of view.